Deer Camp Blog

Deer Camp Blog- the outdoor column of The Bodock Times- (a satirical periodical) Humor and Hunting at the famous Christmas Place Plantation Hunting Club on the edge of the Mississippi Delta

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Friday, June 30, 2006

4th of July Plans


Oxford, MS> Once again my Aunt Marilyn (Melly) is planning on having the family at her house for a feast. A great tradition with all her family coming in and a house full of kids eager for fireworks and watermelon. She has six kids and they all have families. Lots of food, and fun for the fourth of July.
In other news Thunderhoof will be visiting his family in the far north.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

What's Shaking in Alaska?


Perma Frost, Ak> as alluded, my brother James and his family are still alive and well in the outback of Alaska. He is a guide there, mostly for moose and bears and the whole family is involved. Their little cabin in the woods is like an outpost on the edge of the great unknown
with hunters coming and going by bush plane. He sent some pictures of some animals with his children and guests after successful hunts.




Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Where in the world is Denise Sandiago?

Water Valley, MS> Denise Sunderland, the wandering Hollywood glamour girl is once again missing. the latest destination for the globe trotting beauty is Washington, DC.
Phone calls reveal it is raining like crazy up there but she is having a blast. Nothing like a few lobbyist with gold cards to keep a woman busy. She is helping her daughter move into a new apartment in DC which took 30 minutes and then to relax and enjoy our nations capitol for a week. She is visiting the Lincoln Memorial, the Washington Monument, Arlington and all of the famous locales around the famous city. Try to keep up with her jet set visits on this blog every week. Hope you are having fun!

Monday, June 26, 2006

All Star Photos

Hernando, MS> The girls softball All Star team traveled to Hernando and played three games over the weekend. We lost but a good time was had by all, and a lot of lessons learned. Sarah will always be my All Star and she really played well.


Beach Blanket Blogging


Sardis Lake, MS> Early Saturday morning we packed up to meet Mark Stewart and company at Sardis Lake at 10:30AM. What was I thinking? He arrives at 11:30AM. Mark and Kim, their sons John and Drew, a friend Shaw, Drews' girlfriend Ashley and her Parents Bruce and Linda.
2 boats, 2 jet skis. A great all day event. We set up camp on a deserted beach. Sarah, Spencer and Erin were in hog heaven!

The weather was perfect, the water was great, Jet skis were ready!












I was glad to see Kim and really enjoyed meeting Bruce and Linda











Unfortunately, Sarah and I had to leave for an All Star game at the last minute
and had to miss all the fun.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Beauty and the Beast

Alcatraz, MS> Now that I am a famous blogger, life is getting really interesting. Gifts, Women, and lucrative job offers continue to surround me, but I am staying with Real Estate and Blogging. I am almost a whole week ahead of the bill collectors and gaining ground everyday.
Since the New York Times is about to be burned after their article today, it should open up some blogger doors in that part of the world and make my blog more appealing and accessible to the clamoring public (Remember! Chicks dig bloggers) I decided to hire a couple of henchmen, I mean salespeople to really start the money train in real estate, while I rake in the dough from this new blogging outlet. I heartily welcome Shona Williams and Wilbur Herring. Beauty and the Beast!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Hershel Howells' First Deer


Abbeville, MS> (as told by Hershel Howell) (This story used to amaze me as a kid!)
Deer hunting in the early 60’s was pretty simple. Go out in the woods, wait for a big buck, shoot it, and go home. Except it was a lot harder getting the buck to cooperate.
It was a cold morning as Hershel surveyed the ground near the old Red Line area.
The sun was up and some shots had been fired so close that it got his blood warmed up. He was hunting with the German Mauser 8mm that he had bought and hoped that finally this would be his lucky day. A loud commotion of a deer running drew his eye as a large buck came tearing down the ridge. Hershel did not hesitate as he threw the rifle to his shoulder and cut down on the animal. Boom! Boom! The deer picked up speed. Pow! The deer staggered, righted itself and took off again. Hershel got down and headed toward the last place he had seen the big buck. A large spot of blood caught his eye and he carefully started following the blood trail. The large buck jumped up right in front of him! Boom! Boom! Blam! Pow!, as he sprayed the woods with bullets.
Hershel raced through the woods after the deer reloading and shooting as the deer would fall, then jump up and take off again. He finally caught up to the deer that was standing with it’s head down and as he eased up and bolted his rifle, the deer took off again. More wild shooting and racing through the woods until he was covered in sweat and completely exhausted. He went over a little rise and saw the deer sitting in front of him, breathing heavily and totally exhausted also. He carefully moved closer and very quietly bolted his rifle. He took dead aim and pulled the trigger. Click! Holy crap! He was out of bullets. The deer took off again, and down through the woods they went. Hershel holding the useless rifle as the deer staggered down the middle of a big hollow. Finally the deer collapsed and sat there as Hershel eased up to him again. Running through the woods, he had searched every pocket repeatedly for more bullets but no luck. He stood there trying to decide what to do. An idea struck him. He eased a rope out of his pocket and made a lasso. If he could lasso the deer and tie it to a tree, maybe it would hold until help arrived. Carefully he formed a loop, zipped the lasso around and tossed it at the deers’ antlers. The lasso fell right between the old bucks' antlers. The deer took off at full steam! Down through the woods they went again until the buck fell. Hershel had decided he would tackle the deer and try to stab it in the throat. Easing up to the deer, he unbolted his gun one more time (from habit he thinks) and to his complete surprise there is a bullet in the gun. How it got there, he doesn’t know. He had shot 10 times and chased the deer halfway across the Holly Springs National Forest. He slammed the bullet home and as he tells it. “When I pulled the trigger, smoke came out the other side” The big 8- point buck lay still and Hershel had taken his first buck
!

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Tuesday, June 20, 2006

A Great Neighbor


Rusty Ranch, MS> Paul Jones is the kind of neighbor everyone needs. A quiet and easy going man that has the ability to fix anything. The members at the Christmas Place Rusty Bolts Club have zero ability to fix anything, except for Hershel "Bailing Wire" Howell.
Mr. Jones is a professional? welder by trade, but mainly hunts and fishes as he sees fit. A pretty good life. He wanders over and visits with us and is often amazed at the incompetence of our engineering skills. He will casually go get his truck (with all his tools and equipment) and fix something for us in five minutes that we would work on for days.
He also watches our place when we are gone. He fishes and shares it with us. He is always willing to help in any way (and his son is the same). A great neighbor and a huge asset to us. I just want to say Thank you!

Monday, June 19, 2006

A GOOD WEEKEND


Blazing Sun, MS> When I arrived at camp Saturday morning the temperature was already hovering at around 115 degrees, naturally Hershel "SweatProof" Howell was chomping at the bit to get to work. After fixing the tractor and hooking everything up, we are off! Hershel starts to disc up the dry pond bottom to plant milo and millet. My job is to pick up every old log (without getting snake bit) and get them out of the way. Between picking up logs, screaming at kids to help and making sure Camo did not drag the sticks back in the way, I thought I would melt. Mark and his kids arrive just as we finish this task, then I get the other tractor, plant the area and head to get a cool drink. Denise relaxed in the shade while Mark and John talked about working.









Drew and his girlfriend Ashley find something else to do, so does Sarah.










Erin and Spencer played and kept a lookout for Thunderhoof in the garden.


Twenty minutes later I get some work out of Mark and his kids by making them start putting together a tripod stand we hope to put out later. Dad can't stand us doing work he doesn't think of first. He has an inspiration! Off to work on the African Queen! The pontoon is parked in the garage. The temp is about 140 degrees in there. Perfect!
An hour and a half later, a new motor has been installed and everyone is about dead.
Back to camp for another cold drink. Then put the tripod and tractors away, close barn and back to the camp just as a monsoon blows in, cools everything off and the rain pours down.
A perfect finish to the day. Dinner later is fresh catfish. We head home about 9 o'clock exhausted. A good days work.

Friday, June 16, 2006

What's Going On!

Catchup,MS> This post is for you to catch up on the crazy people at the Christmas Place Hunting Club. This also includes updates on former post.
1. Mom has escaped from hospital and is doing well
2. Rebels lost to Miami and will not visit Omaha
3. Water Valley lost state championship
4. My golf game still sucks, (small improvement)
5. Paul is not prejudiced (he hates all poor people)
6. Thunderhoof family reunion was major success, he is spending the rest of the summer eating corn.
7. Have you heard? They are making a movie about Joe Black!
8. James and his family have not been eaten by bears in Alaska (yet)
9. Hershel has found a few more projects for us at the camp
10. Camo has learned to sit and shake hands. Still failing duck.
11. Aunt Marilyn came by, she is doing great and planning a big party on july 4
12. Haley is in California, hobnobbing with the surfer dudes
13. Trents' golf still sucks too
14. Jones is remodeling a house and is unavailable for me to make fun of.
15. The pontoon boat is still in the garage.
16. Mark Stewarts' deer head is MIA (too bad)
17.The corn is now 13' tall (yikes)
18. July 4th is coming up and another family golf blood bath is coming
19. Spencer is still a hero, but had a tooth knocked out by a ball.
20. Sarah is doing fine even though she thinks she is 25 and not 12
21. Erin is getting brown from the sun and can still talk a coon off a limb.
22. Denise is working at the gym everyday and looking hotter and hotter.
I'm a little worried.
23. Bobby is still sleeping on the front desk (guess he needs a raise)
24. Burney has disappeared off the radar and is keeping a low profile.
25. Paul says these women are getting meaner everyday. Burney agrees with him.
26. Dad still loves the tractor and working hard at the camp every weekend.
Come visit, he will find a little job for you to do.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

The Hell With Deer

Fatbird, MS> Hershel Howell, noted ruthless land baron and head of the Christmas Place Evildoers Club, has been busy around the camphouse the last few weeks. His newest desire is to have a large dove hunt in the backyard of the camphouse. He has had his slaves discing, and planting in the 100 degree heat. He is planting Millet, Milo and Sunflowers. Members griped because we always overseed the back area with rye grass to watch deer in the winter. But, Hell No! not this year. My dad dreams of fat turkeys, quail and doves. Hershel said "Hell with the deer, we have too many anyway"Shocked members think he is getting quite senile. Meanwhile, pour the fertilizer to it and full speed ahead! Many members think that deer are the number one priority and anything else is a waste of money. They also think that missing Thunderhoof at 40 yards last year may have done permanent damage to Hershels brain.
On the good side, the corn is 8-12 feet high, yes really! and the deer are getting too fat to waddle out of the corn fields.
Can't wait for deer season!

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

The Peddler Field Phantom


Campfire, MS> Years ago a peddler would bring his wagon to Oxford every year. No one really knew his name and if they did it is lost in history . He would take the wagon road over what is known as Thacker Mountain. He would wind through the small towns of Taylor, Burgess or other little villages that are now gone. He sharpened knives, shovels, hoes and mended about anything from his wagon. He liked to cut across the mountain because in the whole country it was the only place that had a secret little herd of deer, and at this time there were no deer to be found in Lafayette county. People thought he was crazy and a liar, but he always bragged about the one giant buck he could feed from his hand.
One night as he slept in his wagon on the old road, he was ambushed and murdered. Thieves were looking for his hoard of gold they believed he slept on. Passersby found him near his campfire and since no one knew of any family, they buried him in a little open field there and it was known from then on as Peddlers Field. This should be the end of the story but as the years went by rumors spread that the field did not grow up in trees and brush, and that a giant buck deer was seen over and over beside the old grave of the Peddler. Many people came to believe that his spirit had gone into the deer and the old peddler haunted the mountain.
Time moved on and 50 years or so went by. The wagon road was abandoned and the mountain became even wilder until Hershel Howell started deer hunting in the area. He had been raised at Burgess, hunted squirrels and quail before anyone hunted deer in Lafayette County. He knew the country well. He also knew the story of the peddler and where the field was. Years later, he had heard the rumors of a giant buck on the mountain from the old families that he still knew there. During scouting trips he found sign of the gigantic buck and set out to hunt him. It took years of patience, maneuvering and superior hunting skills over the mountain that turned into a total respect between the two warriors, and finally the big buck was right under him and a
perfect shot from a .264 brought him down on a cold winter morning. He says a mist rose from the deer in the shape of an old man and looked at him, then, wafted away as the big buck grew still. Who knows? The Peddler Field Phantom is proudly hung on the wall in his office if you ever get the chance to go by there.

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Zarqawi Blues

I got the Blues,
the Rebels have lost, my golf game sucks
my families all crazy
and I can't kill a buck
I got the blues, the Zarqawi Blues

I got the blues,
business is bad, I'm still in the Valley
it's so hot I can't breath
My girlfriends throwing me out in the alley
Oh, I got the blues, the Zarqawi Blues

Maybe, Zarqawi is having a hotter time than me.
And his blues may be a redder shade than mine.
Good riddance and thank you to our troops!

Friday, June 09, 2006

MOM IN HOSPITAL RELAXING


Water Valley, MS> Peggy Howell is laid up at Yalobusha General Hospital. She pretends that her emphysema is worse at times just to get away from the irresistable force of the slave driving Hershel Howell. Every week at the camp working from daylight to dusk is not fun to anyone but Hershel Howell. So, she is hiding in the hospital, getting breathing treatments and
clearing her lungs for another fun time at the camp. Get well soon, Mom.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Aching With Pride


Water Valley, MS> Baseball for 11-14 year olds can be a pain for parents. You want to support your child. You are at the ball park almost every night. You watch, you hope your child and team does well. But every now and then a parent experiences something that can break your heart with pride or wound you to the bottom of it. We forget when we were that age and the feel of a glove on your hand, the feel of the bat in your hands, facing a fast pitcher in a big, close game was the most important thing there was. Then something happens that makes you remember. Last night was one of those nights.
The score was 4-0 and Spencers' team could not hit the ball or score. Spencer had gotten a hit early and managed to get on base. It looked hopeless for the home team. The bottom of the last inning came and Spencers' team started a rally. The lead off batter managed a great fly ball and made it to third. He then stole home. (4-1) next batter gets to first and manages to make it around and score also after being driven in. (4-2) 1 out, the next couple of batters do the same, making the score (4-3) with two outs and men on first and second. Guess who comes to the plate? Spencer.
Every parent has been in the position I was in. Hoping for the best, secretly fearing the worst.
He looked like the smallest kid on the field and my heart went out to him as he worked the count till it was full at 3 balls and 2 strikes. The windup, the pitch! The crack of the bat shocked me as the ball flew deep into the outfield and nestled against the fence. Spencer shot around the bases like a streak of lightning for a game winning homerun! The game was over!
My heart almost burst with pride! Then like in movies you see, his team picked him up and carried him on their shoulders off the field. This small kid that I recognized as myself years ago, became the hero. Maybe for a short time, but a time he and I will always remember.
Thank you God for the gifts you have given me.

6-6-6 is an Everyday thing


Witchy, MS> This 6-6-6 business was bothering me. I got up early and rushed to the famous Christmas Place Unexplained Phenomena Area. I rushed down to the edge of the cornfield. The evil hogs were grazing peacefully till I disturbed them. Flashing tusk and wild squealing followed me as I made my escape and headed for the Crossover area. The deer were grazing peacefully till I disturbed them. Flashing horns and stamping hooves chased me down to the lake. I sat on the dock and looked out over the beautiful lake. A flying saucer dove out of the sky barely missing my head, shot a beam of light into the lake and immediately two gigantic 60 lb. catfish rose out of the lake and into the ship. A little green man waved at me and the UFO took off! It got quiet. I could hear ghost murmuring and beating drums at the haunted Indian Mound. A saber tooth tiger came down and got a drink of water. A herd of Mammoths walked by and a large Mastodon started taking a bath. I wandered down by the Point stand. I heard thunder and soon Thunderhoof galloped by me, giving a wink and a shake of his mighty horns as I dodged the lightning from his hooves. I headed to the camphouse. Turkeys the size of an ostrich flew off. Giant Coyotes and Bobcats sprang out of the bushes, a bear growled, a comet whizzed by! I broke into a run and made it to my truck. I cranked up, spun gravel and took off. Luckily everything was normal at the Christmas Place as I relaxed, dodged the werewolf in the road and headed home. This 666 stuff is a bunch of hooey!

Monday, June 05, 2006

#7 OLE MISS REBELS WIN REGIONAL


Oxpatch, MS> This weekend the number 7 OLE MISS REBELS swept through the regional playoffs with victories over Bethune-Cookman (3-2), South Alabama (9-7) and Tulane (12-4) and are headed to the Super Regionals.Congratulations to a red hot Ole Miss Team!

Friday, June 02, 2006

Joe Gump Black (The Real Easy Rider)


Harley, MS> When Joe Black returned from Vietnam, he was disillusioned. After single handedly capturing Tojo, Ho Chi Minh, Goldfinger, saving the rain forest, capturing Cambodia and France, thrawting Picketts' charge and then being the last man on the last helicopter out, he wanted to do something different. All the secret awards from General Eisenhower and Sherman meant nothing. Even though they made a movie about his combat exploits. He headed home and decided to buy a motorcycle and see the world. He traveled the U.S.A. and in a short time they made a movie about this famous lone rider called The Wild One. He bought into the lucrative mink and earthworm farms and made a few million but the Army kept callin him back on secret missions. Tiring of this and interested in girls and the hippy life in California, he headed west. They quickly made a movie about his drug induced life called Easy Rider. Later, he was recruited by British Intelligence as Agent 003 1/2 and movies were made about his dashing secret life. After defeating all the evil villains throughout the world he moved to the small town of Water Valley and opened a C.P.A. practice. Making millions and fighting KAOS on the side was not enough, so he turned to golf. Quickly reaching professional level in a couple of weeks, they made a movie about his golfing life. Golf was too easy, even though he stills plays a little. He spends most of his time puttering around his elaborate mansion outside town writing his memoirs., doing Calculus in his head and studying Philosophy, Science and Useless Facts. Luckily, they made a movie about his interesting life.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

A Memorial Memorial Day


Parched Earth, MS> Memorial Day! A great time for relaxation and fun with family and friends! I let everyone know that I was not doing anything but play golf, drink, play and take it easy for the long weekend. 8:00 Saturday Morning I am working on the damn tractor. Sharpen the blades, fix the fender, clean up, spruce up and beautify the camp till 1 o'clock. Rush to the golf course and a new layout we have not seen called Walnut Hills. Paul and Dad birdied the last two holes to beat Trent and I. How embarrasssing! Home for B-B-Q and a good nights sleep.
The next morning at 8:00 AM I am sitting on a tractor in 100 degree heat dragging a bush hog for the next seven hours. Worn out and half baked from the sun, Denise arrives and we have lemonade and take it easy in the late afternoon, we also go up to the Christmas Cemetery which is always pretty neat to explore. That night we grill steaks, have sweet potatos, bread, and salad and some great home made ice cream and relax around the fire. Next morning off to Benton and a round of golf. Dad and I beat Paul and his buddy Mike McKay (losers). A worn out but happy weekend for everyone.