Deer Camp Blog

Deer Camp Blog- the outdoor column of The Bodock Times- (a satirical periodical) Humor and Hunting at the famous Christmas Place Plantation Hunting Club on the edge of the Mississippi Delta

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Monday, July 31, 2006

Ashleys' Wedding

Oxpatch, MS> Saturday, Denise and I were invited to Ashley Warrens' wedding at the Oxford- University Methodist Church. Denise's daughter Sadie was here, so we loaded everyone up and headed to the 5 o'clock service. Usually I am not a man that would have any interest in going to a wedding, but her father Terry Warren was my running buddy in high school and I do think a lot of her. Besides, there was a good chance a knife fight would break out and I wouldn't want to miss that. The wedding was beautiful, she was beautiful and it went off without a hitch. Damn!
We wandered over to the City Grocery for a drink and ran into Richard Gurner. A former Water Vallian and deerhunter. We talked over some old times and I do want to invite him to come bowhunting in the fall.
Several beers later, it was time to go to the big party! An open bar throwdown at Long Shot Bar just off the square. Hot, crowded, wild, a live band. We were at the right place. Swivel hips Barry Weeks and his wife Charmie were there. I'm dancing with Denise and there is Snooky and Mary Lou dancing beside me! I also danced for the first time with Mrs. Kim Jones who was shaking a leg and even with Sadie. Liquor flowed and we were having a great time. We ended up leaving before the fight which I heard was great and ate at Ajax on the square and then headed home. A fun time for sure!

Thursday, July 27, 2006

You're Not Going to Believe This

Lazarus, MS> These heartstopping photos were taken recently. I know you believe it is trick photography but these are real pictures. Caution- if you have heart problems, do not look below. Yes, it is Paul Howell riding a tractor and doing manual labor.



Wednesday, July 26, 2006

The Black Knight

Camelot, MS> After dragging stands around all day Saturday at the Christmas Place Prison, we relaxed in the cool of the evening around the picnic table behind the camp. Sipping ice cold beer and watching the last of the sun sink below the treeline, we were too tired to move and just sat there drinking and talking about the upcoming season. Mark Stewart mentioned the deer that had been seen but never shot at, a giant black deer named the Black Knight. Mark had seen it at about 300 yards whipping a large 8-point with ease. Then chasing the buck away from the does it wanted. The 200 lb. 8-point came slipping by Mark, bleeding and gasping but the Black Knight had disappeared back into the brush. Burney saw him later off the same stand, and watched it whip a big 10-point and another 8-point while chasing does. It laid down about 500 yards away and spent the afternoon chasing bucks away and relaxing. Burney says it was the biggest deer he had ever seen. Mark said it was so large that it made the other bucks look like fawns. They also agreed that he was jet black with giant white horns. A toast was made to this monster deer and a plan was put into motion to bring him to justice at the end of a rifle.
We will see.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Musical Deerstands

Hokey-Pokey, MS> OK, this is the way it works. (make sure temperature outside is over 100 degrees) Take Point Stand and move it to Number 1 field, repair and take Number 1 stand to new Sneaky Stand. Take new tripod to Narrow Field, take that stand to Levee. Take a new 2 man stand to Spike Camp, remove that stand and put on Clover Field. Take new tripod to Point Stand. Take new 2 man to South Corn Field, remove that stand and put at Graveyard. Drag Pond stand all over bottom and then put it back where it was. Got it?

Monday, July 24, 2006

Once Again I am Right!


Hellfighter, MS> Hershel Howell did not send the bulldozer home. The terrified bulldozer driver gunned the engine and plunged into the underbrush. Hershel Howell believes in working a man till he is dead. The bulldozer roared through the woods as Hershel shouted and pointed things for him to do. Hershel can find more things to do than you can imagine, even if you had a gun to your head! Sweat rolled from the operator as the temperature soared. Damn that! FULL SPEED AHEAD! The temperature reached 105 as Hershel stood on his four wheeler, like a captain of a mighty battleship surveying his forces and ordering his ships into the thick of the fray. He pitched a peanutbutter, pickle and pimento cheese sandwich and a cream soda into the cab and pointed at new gound to be cleared. The white eyed bulldozer driver gulped the sandwich down and tore down through the woods. Hours later, the bulldozer finally gave it's all. The oil cap shot 50 feet in the air, fire and smoke shot out of the motor and black smoke covered everything. The bulldozer driver jumped down and ran for it. He escaped from Hershel through the billowing smoke and has not been seen since. The bulldozer crawled to a stop in the clearing as fire swept over it. Hershel stood there amazed and silent. Gritting his teeth and mumbling under his breath he headed back to camp.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

The Dogs of The Dogwoods


Grenada, MS> The new golf course (the Dogwoods) at Grenada Lake and Hugh white State Park recently opened. This 18 hole design against the lake has been the talk of all the golfers
in the area and everyone is looking forward to play there. There are a few people who have already played there that may never want to play it again after the whipping they received last weekend. Trent Bogey Howell and Barry Whiff Weeks scheduled a scramble match against the team of Joe Flutterputt Black and Greg BrokeShaft Jones. A warning was issued to all players on the course and the two teams teed off. According to Mr. Black, it may have been the worst drubbing in history. A great eagle on the last hole just rubbed salt in the wounds of the hopeless moral midgets.They beat Trent and Barry like dogs, took all their money and then talked ugly about them. They raved about how great the course is while we have yet to receive any interviews with the losers. If you get a chance go play this course and leave us a review.

Monday, July 17, 2006

The 2 Great Deer Camp Axioms


Squashed Flat, MS> At the famous Christmas Place Deer Ranch and Obstacle Course, the members live by two simple rules. #1 Never show up for a work weekend. #2 Never let Hershel Howell near a bulldozer. Unfortunately, rule number two was broken this weekend, as a very small amount of clearing was needed at the camp. The object was to move a small tree off the side of a field near the camp, run a couple of trails out and fix the road near the lake so we could get the pontoon boat in the water. The bulldozer arrived and Hershels eyes kind of glazed over.
He sprang into action! He vaulted onto his four wheeler and lead the charge to the tree in the field. Sizing up the situation, he decided to clear about 40 acres around the area. He shouted and waved directions while standing on the four wheeler. His dog even barked directions. The engine roared as the terrified bulldozer driver cut a swath through the woods. Trees fell, squirrels flew, armadillos headed for new areas as the bulldozer crushed and twisted everything in it's path. Hours went by with Hershel only leaving to get his dog a drink of water as everything beside and behind the witchs' house was demolished and removed to a huge gulley.
Hershel was in his element, the bulldozer driver could not stop or slow down with out Trigger trying to rip his leg off. Hershel beamed! The temperature soared above 100, perfect weather!
When I left at 3 o'clock the tree was still in the field, no roads had been cleared and the road to the lake was still a washed out rut. The 40 acres was flat and clean as a whistle. Hershel was eyeing the next 40 as I gunned my old truck for Water Valley.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Who's in Charge?

Ft. Courage, MS> How come this year at the camp reminds me of this old TV show?

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Who is This Man Really?

Water Valley, MS> This man recently left Water Valley claiming to be Paul Howell.


Everyone here is still guessing but we think he was really one of these characters!






The last one is my guess, but be sure to send those pictures in to the Deer Camp Blog and have us post your favorite guess. Voting will take place at the end of the month.
(editors note) please do not send pictures of yours or anyone elses butt, the system is overloading!!!

Monday, July 10, 2006

Marilyn Puts on The Dog

Oxpatch, MS> A great July 4th celebration at my Aunt Marilyns










Later we went to the Grove for music and fireworks!



Saw some Water Valley friends, Baron Caulfield, Glinda Griffith, Bobby Suratt

Heard a heart stirring and patriotic Marine Corp. Military Band!

A gigantic fireworks display and home to bed at midnight!