Deer Camp Blog

Deer Camp Blog- the outdoor column of The Bodock Times- (a satirical periodical) Humor and Hunting at the famous Christmas Place Plantation Hunting Club on the edge of the Mississippi Delta

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Thursday, July 31, 2008

Watermelon Carnival 2008

North Mississippi Herald Special Edition

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

A Wet and Expensive Weekend

While storms raged across Yalobusha County, Denise and I packed up the kids and headed to Philadelphia to Geyser Falls and of course, the casinos there.
We spent two days at the water park, enjoyed some great food and even got to do a little gambling for Denise"s Birthday. It was a lot of fun, but once again I am broke and back to work.
It was hotter than blue blazes, but the water was perfect. Here are Sarah, Erin and her friend Madison enjoying a waterfall on the Lazy River.


The wave pool was fun and very relaxing too!
It kind of eased the pressure of work that I had been under.




Of course the fun part was getting on the wild rides like the Backsplash and
we had to go down the super fast tubes!




A great time was had by all us kids and then we headed for our hotel and the casinos. Will post a little on that later.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The Lost Antler


I have been in contact with my old friend Steve Creek from over at The Shed Antler. He is having some mucho problemos with his great blog. In fact it seems that aliens have stolen it, leaving no trace anywhere on the internet. He is about to go crazy looking for it, kind of like Diogenes looking for an honest blogger. He hopes to have this site back up and running soon and he hasn't forgotten all his links and friends that check up on him. You know he could have just told the truth. A dog ate his blog.

Friday, July 25, 2008

The Christmas Card

I don't know who the guy in the red suit is, but that deer in the background looks familiar!

The Deer Camp Blog Christmas Card was conceived about this time last year and it took me several months to put it together. I would like all my links and anyone that reads this blog to send me an email with their picture. I will start a file and start putting the Christmas Card together. Yes, this also means you Toast Man and Kristine

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Irish Problems

Yesterday was a nightmare. I did not have time to post here or on Marians site. The reason is typical. When business comes, it comes in flurries and if a problem arises it happens at the exact same time.
It was the cutoff day to get my passport for our trip to Ireland. Go to Oxford, get a passport. Seems real simple.
The first time I went they said I had to have an appointment. Of course, they weren't doing anything, I just had to have an appointment. I made the appointment and went home. The next day amid business and the damn phone ringing off the hook I loaded up and went back. I got every thing done but damned if I did not forget my birth certificate. DAMN! I had to get it to them and finished by 3:30PM.
I was sure I had a birth certificate laying around and easy to find. Three hours later with my office torn to shreds and the clock ticking down I could not find it.
Denise calls and I tell her what is going on. She says "Oh, I have it here".
I rushed home, got the birth certificate and got every thing done with seconds to spare. Cost for a rush order $193.00. Yes $193.00.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Marians Gone To VA


I will be doing some guest spots on Marian's Hunting Stories.
Now that she is out of the way, maybe I can tell the real story of how she killed that deer at the famous Christmas Place.
I will put in part of the story about The Ghost Glasses that takes place one harrowing night in the Vicksburg National Cemetery. That's where they buried all the Yankees.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Something Fishy

After receiving the Note from Thunderhoof, I noticed what seemed to be an underlying tone that made me wonder if the work camp this weekend was going to have some problems. As usual, I was right.
When we got to camp we split into groups for Saturday morning. Mark, Drew and I were on the chainsaw road-clearing detail. It did not take long to realize what that stupid deer had done. He had pushed trees down across every road on the whole place. You could see the gashes from his gigantic antlers in the trunk of the trees where he had pushed them over. I bet we had to cut twenty trees off the roads.
During a lull in sawing, we heard his distinctive grunt-snicker through the woods. I guess he thought it was real funny for us to work like that in 100 degree heat. I have news for him. A bullet is waiting for him come November.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Jones Farm Is Now Posted

In light of recent suspicious activities on the Jones Farm, a security system is currently in the process of being put into place. This is no ordinary home ( or cow) defense system though. This unique homemade system is specifically designed to keep out one single lanky, overly tanned, half blind cretin.
An elaborate security system of many layers has been created to mislead and confuse this sarcastic and pitiful, so-called Blogger.
The specs for the expertly devised diversions are as follows:
1)Paul paying camp fees ( who wants to miss that?)
2)A shiny nickel
3)A flashing sign that reads LOOK HERE TO SEE WHAT A REAL WEB SITE LOOKS LIKE.
4)A MS State fan
5)An LSU fan
6)free babysitting service
7)Houston Nutt
8)A dog catcher (HA-HA you Evil Dog)
9)A black and mild cigar
10)J.K. Rowling
11)Thunderhoof
12)boobs (and lots of ‘em)

If, by some miracle this “blog wizard” makes his way through this maze of temptation, then he is free to come terrorize our cows again, but I doubt we’ll have much to worry about. He will never get past the boobs.

posted by TJ
Spawn of Scratchy

Thursday, July 17, 2008

A Note From Thunderhoof

Dear Rex,
I am missing you and all your stupid brothers.
Most days this summer I just eat and swim in the lake.
Your dad is fun and sometimes chases me out of his garden with a broom. I run and pretend that I am scared.
Time for you to start scouting for a good place to hunt.
It is always fun to sneak up behind you and snort.
You should see the look on your face!
Tell Mark, Trent, Paul, Spencer, Michael and
especially Marian that I
will enjoy making them crazy this deer season.

Try to bring Matt or that crazy Canuckian, Othmar, to hunt too.
Hurry down so we can have some fun before fall.
Your pal,
Thunderhoof

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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Upcoming Stories

To the people that have asked about what stories I have planned for the rest of the year. I have been working and plotting to keep things active and here is what I am planning.
1. Continuing the story of the Confederate Map and Treasure. I will be getting some help from Marian, GuyK and Cookie.
2. A strange campfire story about a very evil spot discovered in our woods where human sacrifice was performed.
3. When I was 11 I witnessed the greatest Tall Tale of all time. To this day no one has come close and I hope I can retell it as funny as it actually happened.
4. Another story involving the Vampire called Wandering Jack.
5. More of Spencer Golightly and the Ghost Glasses.
6. Annual Interview with Thunderhoof
7. Another campfire story about a mysterious valley on our property that lulls hunters in, and they are never heard from again.
8. A ghost story of what happened to me on a cold Christmas Hunt just after dark. Please read my first Christmas Place Story if you haven't.
9. Pics and stories as we prepare for deer season.
10. I also want some guest bloggers stories on How I Spent My Summer Vacation At The Christmas Place or another fun subject if anyone is interested.
11. We will be live-blogging the Watermelon Carnival
12. Denise and I have a trip in September to Ireland.
I have more ghost stories involving a covered bridge, a scarecrow and a walk on a rainy afternoon and, of course, pics of the giant deer I am going to blast.
I hope you will enjoy these and if you have any ideas or want to visit please let me know.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Work Camp Set


San Quentin, MS> This coming weekend a work camp has been set for the famous prison known as the Christmas Place HellHole. I called all the inmates to see what time they would be there to work.

Burney- I am going to the coast and probably won't make it.
Paul- Ahhh, I am going to be on vacation in the caribbean.
Trent- I have a major trial coming up in 4 months and have to get ready for it.
Bobby- Burney is gone and I can't go without him.
Michael- Ahhh, I have a Cantata to go to.
Mark- I think the Rebels are having a scrimmage that day
Drew- my girlfriends birthday is that weekend
Spencer- I'm sick
John- I'm hunting in Batesville this year
Hershel- don't worry, Rex and I will take care of everything
Rex- Damn!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Hump Day Happenings

As everyone knows, July 4th is hump Day for the hunters in our family. Now thoughts turn to getting ready for the coming deer seasons. We will slowly turn to watching the Outdoor Channel and thinking about how to get that big buck.
People (like us) that have property are also starting to plan on getting their field ready. Each field has to be clipped, a week or two later it has to be disked, it has to be disked, fertilized and planted again after that. A lot of work. Each stand has to be checked to see if it is rotted, firewood has to be cut, supplies bought, cabin cleaned, and you have to mix in some fun with it. This does not include the malingering Paul "Great Scout" Howells ability to disappear while everyone else is working their butts off.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Burning Down The Bank

First, I really hate to tell this on myself and I guess you had to be there, but it was funny as hell afterwards.
Yesterday, I strolled across the park, enjoying a morning cigar, to shout at Janet Dickey about some business, to visit with Glenda Griffith for a few minutes and hopefully see Bill Taylor to drum up some appraisal requests.
Outside the bank was a large Planter with some kind of flower in it, I did not pay atention. I put the cigar carefully on the edge of the planter and went inside. Afterwards, I picked up the cigar which had rolled over into the planter and headed back. I checked carefuly. (I swear) The cigar was out and there was no sign of any burning. I went back across the street.
Twenty minutes later, Bobby and I went outside and were talking on the porch when Bobby said "What the hell is that?" then "The #@*damn bank is on fire!"
A well of smoke was pouring from the big planter and then fire jumped up about 5 feet high. Holy Crap! I ran to the pone, dialed and told Glenda- "The damn bank is onfire, would you please get someone to put it out!" she said "We're working on it as fast as we can" Two minutes later they had poured a bucket of water on it and it was extinguished. Sorry to say, that the plant did not survive.
Glenda may read this and know how it started now, maybe a few others, but I am not admitting anything. Could of been someone else.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

What Happened to Old Scratch?

Mooville, MS> Whatever happened to Greg "Old Scratch" Jones? Is he in hiding, prison, or lost in a parking lot somewhere? No. Old scratch has made an investment, and is busy watching it at every moment.
Mr. Jones has bought eight cows. I guess he is now a cattleman.
Now to work this huge herd of cattle requires a lot of patience and you get this knowledge from the cows themselves. This is how you do it.
Go out to your pasture and count the cows each day. If you can not count to eight on your fingers, you may have to take your shoes off.
Then you find a nice tall fence post and put your chin on it. This way you can relax till 4 o'clock in the afternon when you have to count the cows again. A lot of beer helps this time consuming task easier.
I know everyone will be worried that Old Scratch is working himself to death with his large cattle herd, but don't. Just think of the big money those cattlemen make.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

A Lesson From Tom Sawyer

If you happened to read the recent post from Kristine over at Hunt Smart, Think Safety, entitled Caution Yes, Fear No, she talked about woodcraft, knowing the outdoors, and what to do if you see an animal capable of causing you harm.
I am going to relate one of those stories that stuck to me as a kid, that I think every person should try to keep in mind when in a tense situation.
I was about 10 and Disney re-released their movie of Tom Sawyer, and for some reason my Dad wanted to go see it. I guess it was nostalgia from when he was a kid.
Anyway……..
Tom and Becky were lost in the cave and while exploring they come across the bad guy, the evil Injun Joe. Now in the book they escape and Injun Joe dies alone in the cave, but in the movie it gets more dramatic.
They run and Injun Joe corners Tom against the edge of a sheer cliff that falls away for a thousand feet and it looks like curtains for Tom Sawyer. Injun Joe is smiling and walking toward him as Tom is desperately trying to figure a way to get away and Tom reaches down and feels his pocket for a misplaced weapon, anything he can find, and he touches a brass door-knob he is carrying for luck. Inspiration comes to him and at the last minute, he snatches the door knob out, throws it and hits the bad guy square between the eyes. This knocks our villain down and Tom and Becky make their escape.
When we left the movie, my Dad asked me if I learned anything from that part of the movie. My answer of course was “stock up on door-knobs?”
He became serious and told me, “No matter what happens, or how serious and scary a situation you are in, do not panic. If you keep your head and your cool so that you can think, you will survive while most people will not.”
I have been in some strange and pretty scary predicaments, but this thought always comes to my mind and has helped me in many dangerous situations.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

A Confederate Map 8

I have told you that I had managed to keep the discovery of the old diary a complete secret. Later, as I had read through the faded writing and the hints of a buried Confederate treasure started to emerge, I was even more secretive but finally the feeling was too great and I had to confide in someone. Who else but my Dad? He has always been there and was there when we found the hidden cellar beneath the old house.
On a warm afternoon while working at the camp I asked him to come sit in the shade in front of the Witches House and have a cold beer with me. We sat down and I began the story of everything that had happened. I told him about the bowling ball and finding the diary. I told him the story of Lt. Julian Christmas and how General Forrest had buried the treasure on our property. I told him everything I could think of about all of it and showed him the diary. At the end I showed him the puzzling final paragraph.
“The key beginning is a stone at the start of our dream
The answer to our hope is carved in the heart of the wood.
To find the first, you must find the second,
and your future will depend on ancient rock to guide you.”
Dad sat and we talked about the excitement of it and how much fun it would be to find the treasure but he did not seem to be as excited as I was. Finally, he said “ The truth is that the treasure is not here, it had to have been dug up a long, long time ago. As long as anyone that knew about it had survived the war, they would have made sure to get it as soon as they could.” He followed with the advice “Keep your story secret and don’t let anyone see the diary. It will be fun for you to look for it but I assure you it is long gone”
Maybe not, I thought to myself, I already knew where to start my search. The Strange Rock Carvings hidden in a small valley in the bluffs had to be the beginning point and I also knew the man that could help me decipher the hidden meanings there. He was a Yankee blogger from New York, an old submarine man that finished his career in law enforcement. What people did not know was that while on those submarines, he had specialized in code breaking. On the net, he is affectionately known as Cookie and his blog is called The Cook Shack. Go visit, email him, maybe he will tell you the truth of what we discovered.

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Monday, July 07, 2008

7/4/08 Beer, Crawfish, Golf

This 4th of July we had the annual family get together to do the traditional things that all families enjoy during the holiday. Drink plenty of beer, play golf till you drop, eat crawfish until you can't stand. I miss anything?


Hunter and his Dad, Kent, discuss the virtues of the Mississippi -vs- Louisiana crawfish





Dad is talking Aunt Marilyn and my favorite cousin, Noelle, into going to camp for a day.






Marijean discussing Ole Miss with one of the beauties on hand.







A beautiful day and a great time in my brother Trents' back yard.





All the kids hit the pool!






A group photo 7/4/2008

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Perfectville Dog


In Perfectville, I have a perfect dog. This dog wakes me every morning at 6 o'clock no matter if I want to get up or not. What a great alarm clock! After I stagger out of bed, she is eager to bring me pieces of my slippers and when I let her out of the house, she always brings me at least half a page of the shredded newspaper.
And barking, that dog can bark!
She likes to slip up behind you and bark as loud as she can, especially early in the morning as I move into the den with my first cup of coffee.
She barks at all those invisible things inside and outside the house too.
She likes to keep you alert.
She guards the house too. We have not had an elephant or bear come in our yard since we got her. Camo doesn't like a lot of animals. She hates squirrels, rabbits, deer, cats, possums, rabbits, coons, turtles and most other animals she can smell or see.
She has to ride in the front seat to help with navigation, and she bites me if Denise and I get too cozy.
Yep, Ebay is the place for her, I take checks.
(No Return Policy)

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Delivery!

This is the way my brother, James, has to have his new 4-wheeler delivered in the wilderness of Alaska.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Big Black Varmint

Burney was hunting the Game Warden stand a couple of years ago when this big, black, smelly buck walked out on him. Burney as usual did not wait around but instantly started blasting at the deer. After several shots, he managed to accidently kill the beast. This deer weighed 260 lbs. and would of had a great rack exept that one side was messed up and palmatted? (we have found this sign in several of our deer)
A tremendous big black swamp buck and a great trophy.