Deer Camp Blog

Deer Camp Blog- the outdoor column of The Bodock Times- (a satirical periodical) Humor and Hunting at the famous Christmas Place Plantation Hunting Club on the edge of the Mississippi Delta

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Thursday, February 26, 2009

Humans -VS- Hogs

The hog weekend is coming up and seems to have taken a life of it's own. Everybody and their brother is heading to the famous hog-infested Christmas Place to try their hand at blasting these rodents.
On the other hand, the hogs can not wait to rip and tear these losers to pieces.
the Humans-

1. Greg Jones aka Old Scratch. (Positives), mean, can kill a hog with his bare hands, eager and has a small arsenal of weapons. (Negatives), blind as a bat, can't shoot straight and will have to be on his best behavior.
2. Kim Jones aka Hog Stinger. (Positives), eager to kill, loves the taste of wild hog, ornery when she gets her blood up and always on GO. (Negatives) first time to try this, has to protect her babies and her husband wants to give her a peashooter.
3. Tyler Jones aka Hog Breath (Positives) 6'2 300 lbs of muscle and hates a damn hog.(Negatives) he is afeared of them hogs and refuses to hunt on the ground. Erin will have to protect him.
4. Kyle Jones aka Cool Hog. (Positives) Best shot of the men in the family which is not saying much. Will hunt anywhere, anytime and is very damn lucky. (Negatives) cell phone, sunglasses and talking. It is hard to be cool when a 300 lb. wild boar is chasing you through a thicket.

the Hogs-

(they don't have any Negatives and they have earned their names)
1. Gut Ripper- 217lbs. of pure hatred
2. Bloody Tusk- 187 lbs. with extremely long infected tusks
3. Lady Slasher- 242 lbs. specializes in killing and eating female humans
4. Brush Stalker- 175 lbs. known to run through brush at unbelievable speeds to atack unsuspecting hunters before they even get their guns loaded.

More players in this Bloodfest later.

1 Comments:

At 5:59 PM, Anonymous Phillip said...

Sounds like the stage is set, the players have been introduced, and the orchestra is all warmed up.

Now let the blood begin to flow!

 

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