Deer Camp Blog

Deer Camp Blog- the outdoor column of The Bodock Times- (a satirical periodical) Humor and Hunting at the famous Christmas Place Plantation Hunting Club on the edge of the Mississippi Delta

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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Weekend At Denise's

This weekend Denise has graciously invited all the family to our house for a cookout on July 3rd at 6:30. All the golfers should be in and cleaned up by that time. The winners will be happy and tipsy, the losers will be sad, broke and drunk. Put me in that category.
Dad will be there if he gets parolled.
July 4th they are once again giving the big fire works show at Ole Miss, you do not want to miss it. It starts around dark.
Hope everyone is doing great as we get over the hump and head toward fall and hunting season.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Howell Shootout

The annual Howell Shootout has been set for Saturday, July 3rd at 1:00PM and will be at the Yalobusha Country Club. If you want to play, bring your sticks and some quarters for Bebo and come on. We will all be there. Trent, Paul, Bebo, Larry the Beard, Wobbles Kyric and me. It should be a lot of fun taking money from the coast expert. Oh yeah, Dad is not going to play.
1. He is injured.
2. He wants a stroke a hole and that ain't gonna happen.
See you there!

Monday, June 28, 2010

Hopalong Returns

Dad has returned to Water Valley from his hospital stay in Jackson. He is pretending like he is all stove up but I think he is playing his little old wound for all it's worth. I've seen worse. If you are going to visit him, he is in Room 122 at the Yalobusha Co. Hospital. I am sure all the older women in town will be baking pies and cooking chicken to bring him, so go early. He is doing well and chomping at the bit to get out of there.

Friday, June 25, 2010

It's Just Hot


The whole south is under a major heat wave in the 100's. Camo is about to have a heart attack. Her tongue is hanging out to the ground.
We need to go to Jackson to see Dad but I am not sure how I am going to get Camo up on the 5th floor of the hospital. I found out those people don't appreciate dogs like I do. Maybe I can put her in one of those white doctor garbs with a stethescope around her neck and no one will notice.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

The Replacement Hunter

"Old hunters never die,
they just disappear into the woods"

Forget that, dad is in Jackson recovering after successful knee surgery. His knees are just worn out and he had his repaired, replaced and completely redone. I told him that he didn't look any taller.
Dad is not one to sit still, so I give the doctors in Jackson two days before he drives them crazy. He also doesn't much care for a gown that leaves your booty hanging out.
His number at the hospital is 601-968-5049. He can't hear very well, so speak up and tell him to quit lying around on his duff and get back to work.
If you are going through Jackson and see a crazy man with a limp running north on I-55 wearing a gown with his booty flashing in the breeze; stop and pick him up. It will be Dad escaping from the hospital.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Berry Picking Time

I have never seen so many black berrys in all my borned days! they are everywhere and just on the virge of being ripe. In most places you can pick them all afternoon without getting off your 4-wheeler. Next week through the 4th should be perfect.

Monday, June 21, 2010

A Semi-Work Camp


A work camp was called for this past weekend. Only dad, Trent Paul and myself showed up. Pauls' son Michael and his friend Thomas came too. We cleared roads and cut fields all day Saturday and part of Sunday and got a lot done.
The best part of the weekend was late Friday afternoon when Trent and I decided to go hog hunting the Phillip way. We got in Dad's buggy and drove to the lake. Trent was the shooter and I was the chauffeur. We do not own a hog limousine like Phillip.
Lo and behold the hogs were below the leevee and Trent whacked a nice one from the passenger seat. Wow, that kind of hog hunting sure is easy!

Friday, June 18, 2010

The Art Of The Deal


Today I am going to make an offer on a house. It is a foreclosure here in Water Valley and a very good deal. I am dealing with other Realtors which always turns out bad but I am going to try. I will take Camo with me and make sure she puts on her most convincing killer dog act in case of problems.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

A Flat Kind of Day

Let me make sure you understand. I hate automobiles. There i said it. they eat your money and they let you down when you least expect it. Like yesterday.
I am on my way to the big city of Cascilla (pop. 40) and am tooling down Hwy 51 listening to the oldies when I hear a helicopter coming over me. Whump, Whump, Whump.
I look out the window to see it and my truck starts rocking. Holy Crap it's a flat!
Not a flat a blowout!. I pull over and dig my little jack out to change the tire. Did I mention it is 100 degrees in the shade. Finally get it changed.
My spare looks a little rough. In fact I can see where there is a crack in the rubber and it is dry rotted. Oh hell! hope I can do my job and get back to Water Valley. I get in truck covered with sweat and dirt and head on down the road. (very slowly). I get my job done and finally head back to town. Six miles from town I hear that damn helicopter again. Whump, Whump, Whump! Oh crap! I pull over and look but luckily my spare is still up. The outside rubber is gone, leaving the wire underneath. Holy Mackeral! I limp into town at 10 MPH and buy more tires.
That was my whole day.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Camo Cools Off

After Camo's heroics, she had to find a cool place to relax. The center of the tile floor suited her needs. she could cool off and wait for supper too.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Camp Crazy Heat


Denise, Camo and I went down to the camp on Saturday and it was crazy hot. the temp stood at 100 and the heat ndex was 110. Of course Dad got some work out of us. the first thing was we had to drain his stupid pond again. I hope that damn thing dries up soon.
My ferocious dog ran 4 hogs out of the pond and with her bravery done, spent the rest of the time laying in the water while Trent, Paul Jones and I dug out the drainage ditch.
Later I took Camo and Denise for a ride over to the big woods across the Beaverdam. We looked at the Indian Mound on the bluff there and the pretty woods but it was so hot that we returned to camp pretty quickly. Trent went hog hunting to no avail and then Dad and Paul Jones went fishing. They caught a pretty good mess of fish.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Kneesels

As stated dad is having his knee replaced on June 23 in Jackson. He has to go in Monday for a checkup and then we will have to be there on the 22nd.
The time has come to really think on this and hope for a speedy recovery.
I already have Bobby staggering around with a cane, I don't need another damn cripple.

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Gone

The kids left early this morning and I am really going to miss them. I think they will be able to come back a little earlier and stay a little longer next time.
Maybe we can get to the lake with the Mailrider next time.

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Tonight We Bowl


Spencer and Erin are returning to Gulfport in the morning but tonight we are planning on going out to eat at a nice place and then go bowling. Now I am not a very good bowler like another expert I know but I do know the fundamentals. It should be a fun last night together.

Monday, June 07, 2010

Pig Bomb!!!!!!!!

this is horrible!
the damn hogs are going to eat up all the stupid Yankees.
Wait minute.....
Never mind.
Phillip you better watch this just in case.
Pig Bomb

Friday, June 04, 2010

Time For A Hogathon

Received an email from our friend and farmer George Cunningham
Saw over a hundred hogs yesterday on Xmas and Refuge. When is next hog hunt and try to eliminate a few? Kill them and call us. My men will pick up and clean and eat if no one wants them. GBC
Time to load your rifles, call your granny, stoke up the fires and sharpen your knives. We are under attack! Time for a hell raising hogaton to get rid of these porcine pests.
Somebody call Phillip and anybody else that wants a freezer full of pork for the next couple of years.

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Busy, Busy

The kids are here and every minute is busy. The appraisal business is also booming right now and i am off to Oakland, Coffeeville, Charleston and Calhoun City if I can squeeze them all in today.
Sorry that I am not keeping up but will try harder to get my posts up on time.