Deer Camp Blog

Deer Camp Blog- the outdoor column of The Bodock Times- (a satirical periodical) Humor and Hunting at the famous Christmas Place Plantation Hunting Club on the edge of the Mississippi Delta

Google
 

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The Deathly Hollows

It is now a little over 60 days until that stupid deer, Thunderhoof, meets his demise in the Deathly Hollows at the rear of the famous Christmas Place. This is the year that I blast him to smithereens! My trap is almost ready and he will not escape this time. That Harry Potter got nothing on me.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Amidst the Confusion

Thank God we got finished with the first round of breaking up the fields. Dad and I went down to camp for the weekend to finish up and I learned once again that I had no idea what I was doing. I mean, I have only been doing it for 30 years.
I would make a round on the tractor and Dad would pull out in the field and scream at me what I was doing wrong. He would point and shout over the tractor noise and I would scream and shout back. Neither of us could hear the other. Next round he would be back shouting at me again that I was doing it all wrong.
This continued all day Saturday until I thought I would go crazy. I would probably have finished 2 or three hours earlier if I did not have to continually stop to listen to him rant at me about how to do it correctly.
Thank God we finished. I will gladly let one of my evil brothers take over this task.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Trigger's Ride

Dad got a truck tag at the Watermelon Carnival which he proudly put on the front of his truck. I can't believe someone would baby a dog like that. Camo is really upset about it.
Heading to camp this afternoon to tie a hog to a tree for Marian.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

All Quiet On The Southern Front

It is very quiet today. Cooler weather has moved in and it is absolutely beautiful here. finally. Gearing up to go back to camp this weekend and see if we can get all the fields finished in the bottomland.
Time to start thinking about football and deer hunting.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Muddy Revenge

Trent has been hunting hogs very hard for the last couple of weeks with no luck. He gave it a last shot after we finished working on sunday afternoon. He had been hearing the hogs across the road on the Refuge where we can't hunt, but there is a very narrow piece of land on that side of the road that we own. He eased up the old road to see what he could find.
Trent spotted a large hog wallow and figured that in the heat, maybe they would come to it. He looked carefully around at the surrounding woods then realized that the water was moving in the big mud hole. The big hog was lying in the water!
Trent wasted no time as the hog stood up. BLAM! BLAM!
He got Paul Jones to help him get it out. The porker was covered in mud but weighed almost 300 pounds. A massive varmint! Congratulations Trent.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The Outdoor Report

I got a note from Steve Remington about his new site called Camo Underground. This is set up to be the Drudge Report for outdoorsmen. He wants me to send him some fascinating reports and breaking news from our area.
I am thinking about sending him a picture of Camo, which is the smartest and most beautiful dog in the world,
and stories from her great hunting show on television (Hunting With Camo).
Who wouldn't want to read about her?
I could send him the annual Interview With Thunderhoof but that no-good rotten deer would probably just refuse to help.
Hey! I will make up some wanted posters for both of my evil Brothers. That would be fun.

Monday, August 23, 2010

A Hard Day's Work


Here is a pic of the guys relaxing after a hard days work. This weekend we were able to get 20 fields bush0hogged and broken for the first time. All of these fields are up in the bluffs and we are way ahead of schedule. Cutting the fields in the summer helped us because the grass was not so thick when we went in to cut them. Hopefully next week we can get the rest of them done.

Friday, August 20, 2010

The Fish Mobile



starring Rex, Bob and Spencer (the Amazing Fish Boy)

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Upcoming Events

1. Dove season is just around the corner and this year we have sunflowers!
2. Interview With Thunderhoof- another interview with the gigantic deer on the state of the Christmas Place deer herd and the inept hunters trying to get a big buck.
3. Early Muzzle-load Season mixed with the Youth Hunt, should be interesting.
4. Squirrel Camp- an octogenarian event of debauchery
5. Rex takes the Swedish Bikini Team hog hunting- camp is closed to everyone that weekend.
6. Archery season- can Burney survive?
7. Football season- follow the Rebels in the SEC as we pull for the perpetual underdogs.
8. Halloween Ghost stories- and lots of 'em
9. Gun Season-- should be the best season we have ever had.
10. Posts on our strange guests- will Matt show up?
11. Rex goes to New York- I will be heading to New York with the antlers of Thunderhoof to be recognized by the President for my skill in taking the evil buck
12. My retirement- after taking the biggest buck in the world, I will blog continually about it and my retirement.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Wanted- HYK




Wanted- Healthy Young Kids for back breaking labor in 100 degree heat this weekend. Must be weak in mind, strong in back.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Are Your Ducks In A Row?

This week in Water Valley the Howell's are busy getting their ducks in a row. Trent is having a new paint job put on the office that changes it from one of the ugliest buildings to one of the nicest in town.
Dad is lining up the weekend at camp. The bulldozer will be coming to run out all the roads at camp and to work on any fields that need expanding. He also has to get the bulldozer into his duck hole for some ungodly reason that we still haven't figured out.
I am trying to get all my rentals settled for the winter, finish a stack of appraisal work, and keep the whole US economy going on my nickel.
Camo is sleeping and eating.
Now that we are into August the focus of everything is changing to getting the camp prepared for the coming deer season. We made it through the Watermelon Carnival and we survived the big wedding of John and Leslie.
From here on out we will be heading to camp almost every weekend until all the planting is done and all the stands are ready to go.
Meanwhile, my other evil brother (Paul) is doing nothing. He did not come to the hot wedding and I really don't expect him this weekend. I am sure he will be there opening day (as usual)

Friday, August 13, 2010

The Hot Wedding

This weekend is the hot wedding. John Stewart is getting married out at Sardis Lake at half past five on Saturday. Bring your swimsuit, goggles, flip-flops, and suntan oil. This is the perfect time of day for dying of heat stroke. Around five the asphalt is so hot you can cook an egg, there is not a breath of wind and no air is available to breathe. I imagine half of the old ladies will die and the other half pass out. I hope they have ambulances standing by. On the plus side, I think there will be plenty of cold beer.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Another Teenage Hellion

The Watermelon carnival was also the saetting for Erin's Birthday. She turned 13 this week and all she wanted was a new car, motorcycle, jet ski and a goat. We gave her makeup but am still looking for a goat.
Thirteen! OMG! All of you need to beware!
She is the one with the glasses pulled up.
My beautiful daughter is way too grown up for me.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Red Death

Everyone at camp has noticed Tent’s sudden overwhelming desire to hunt hogs lately. In fact, it has become almost an obsession to him. If you ask, he will tell you that he really enjoys it and it is a lot of fun. This is odd in several ways with the most obvious being that he is a die hard big buck hunter. In his life anything else has always been secondary.
Quail, doves, ducks, squirrels, turkey or anything else has not interested him in the slightest. The obsession with hogs has been very strange and until this past Watermelon Carnival I never understood it.
We had made it through the 100 degree heat of the day, toured the Carnival a dozen times, met all our old friends, hit the street dance and watched the fireworks display. We had had enough and we moved to the porch of my office and listened to the music as the hour got late. We sipped our drinks and talked. Denise and I, Paul and Wanda, Bobby Suratt, Shelley and Trent, Holly and Dennis, Bob and Marian and numerous others that came and went after a cold beer or drink. the night wore on and one by one all of our friends headed for the house until just Trent and I were left alone on the porch to sip our drinks. Bobby Suratt was fast asleep in a lawn chair and his gentle snores were the only distraction after the band had left and the lights in the park slowly went out for the night.
We sat there enjoying the last few minutes before we had to go and out of the blue Trent said “I know you’ve been wondering why I am hog hunting so much” I answered that I was and he said “I’m going to tell you something no one else knows” I took a drink and waited for him to continue. He said “You still have that little light on your keychain?” I did and he stood, dropped his pants and sat back down. “Get it and look at my leg” he said. I got it out and turned the penlight on and looked.
There was a hole in his thigh almost as big around as my thumb. The edges looked puckered but the skin looked stretched not ripped. He pulled his pants up and I asked “What happened”
“I came down from the Arrowhead field at dark and walked to the bottom. I was hoping to catch a hog out in the open while I could still see. As I reached the edge of the fields, I was hit from behind and lifted off my feet. I had dropped my rifle and saw that I was laid back across the biggest hog I had ever seen. It shook it’s head sideways and I went rolling off into the brush and landed in the middle of a dead tree.” I didn’t say a word, just waited. Trent said “The hog didn’t waste any time and came after me. I had rolled into the dead tree and scooted my body behind the trunk of what was left of the 12 inch tree and the hog came down right against the tree and my chest. It gored the tree while it’s eyes stared right in my face from 6 inches away. I could see the hate in its eyes. I couldn’t breath and fought to keep it from getting me and finally I quit moving and pretended to be dead. A minute later it stopped, stared at me a minute and trotted off into the woods. I found this hole in my thigh later but it has never hurt even though it looks awful.”
“That hog was solid red and would easily weigh 600 pounds. Its tusks were 5 or 6 inches long. I’m going to kill that SOB no matter what it takes.”

Labels:

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The Deer Blogging Vendors


Marian and Bob sold their beautiful copper trees while Dad hawked his book.

Monday, August 09, 2010

Watermelon Carnival 2010

Friday, August 06, 2010

Gearing Up for the Carnival


today the weather has turned milder and there is great excitement around the park as all the vendors set up. the rides, the food court and all the vendor tents are going up all over. Everything is getting ready to start, plus the big street dance is tonight. Bob and Marian called and they are on the way. Even my evil brother is coming up. No, Paul, the other evil brother.

Thursday, August 05, 2010

Bacon For The Lady

Yesterday my evil brother, no, Trent the other evil brother, took off from work in the middle of the day to take this beautiful young lady on a hog hunt at the Christmas Place. Her name is Nelly McMann and she is a very good shot.
they spotted this big sow right at dark and she made a long shot to drop the porker in it's tracks. Congratulations to a beautiful girl on a very successful hunt!

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

It's Just Hot

My dog and I are hot, damn hot with no end in sight

Monday, August 02, 2010

It's Carnival Week!


Watermelon Carnival 2010