Deer Camp Blog

Deer Camp Blog- the outdoor column of The Bodock Times- (a satirical periodical) Humor and Hunting at the famous Christmas Place Plantation Hunting Club on the edge of the Mississippi Delta

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Thursday, September 30, 2010

Spooky Month Has Arrived

Tomorrow starts bow season and October. I will not be bow hunting but I will be concentrating on some blood-curdling, spooky and of course true tales of horror from the famous Christmas Place. You can vote on which ones you want to read by leaving a comment.
1. The Messenger- soon after we purchased the Christmas Place strange and ominous notes started to appear on our camp door.
2. The Military Complex- a secret lab next to our property abandoned after the cold war, but what went on and is anything still hiding there?
3. The Old Covered Bridge- we were enjoying fishing off of it until nightfall caught us there.
4. The Confederate Grave- is the ghost real and what does he want?
5. The Spectral Wolf- I have seen it and feel that I escaped with my life.
Vote for one or two of these and I will have them up soon.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Probation for Scrooge?

My, evil brother, no the one from the coast, (Paul Howell) is facing probation from the famous Christmas Place. The rules are qute clear, pay your dues by October 1 or you are banned from hunting for the year. Today is the 28th and he still has not paid his dues. As the rich get richer and the poor get poorer my brother keeps a simple philosophy. He always says "I'm not predjudice, I hate all poor people" as he counts his money. This Lawyer is the only person that has not paid up. I am sure he has a lawsuit up his sleeve, but he made the rules.
We are all counting the days.
If he wasn't Dad's favorite I would think he would be sitting at home opening day, but I am sure an exception will be made for the Golden Child. We will see.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Fall Is Here

Yesterday afternoon, fall gently arrived as the air grew colder during the day and last night we slept with all the windows open as the cool breeze was wonderful and comfortable. My crazy dog enjoyed the change too. she spent half the night going in and out, in and out and barking at imaginary ninjas surrounding the house. I even wore a light jacket to work this morning. Burney called and said he was ready for bow season this coming weekend and he had a big mule staked out on Mark's stand.
Too bad for the old Mailrider!
Every one of my blogging friends is writing about their preparations and some up north are already hunting. Go check on the Ecorover, hell, he bagged a moose! Those damn things never come past my stand.
See you in the woods!

Friday, September 24, 2010

Is It Friday?

Today I should be headed to camp to work on stands but my evil brother is coming up for the Ole Miss ballgame. No, the one from the coast. Football has been a disaster this year already and I would much prefer getting in the woods to find a big buck before the season gets here.
So I am cruising the outdoor blogs.
Jody is back writing.
Matt is still hauling off dead carcasses and getting ready for the Virginia Youth Hunt.Kevin at Huntinglife.com has reworked his blog into a great place to find outfitters and read interesting stories. He has even added one great looking girl (Sarah Kirk) to his Prostaff that knows her stuff and has me coming back to read her stories. Thank goodness, I won't have to look at Kevin's ugly mug anymore.
Moose is loose and he has reworked is site too. He's talking about bears but he is chomping at the bit to get after that big buck he has plastered across his front page. Good luck!
Marian has some beautiful spotted fawns on her site along with funny stories, river pics and lots of interesting news. She is getting ready for deer season too and I hope to have her over to the camp soon. Don't worry I am sure she will still cow blog when she can work it in.
That's it for now and I will be checking in on everyone to do an update but next week we are finally going to get serious about deer hunting.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Bow Season Cometh

The archery season is just around the corner and there is still a lot we need to do before we are ready to get after those deer. Right now we could really use a rain to get our fields up and going. This time of year it is hard to get help from Burney and Paul. While we are working they will be hunting as usual. Burney almost always drags in a damn 10-point to get everyone fired up but last year it was a 250 lb. hog. Paul just wings arrows around and annoys everyone.
Getting the time to bowhunt is almost impossible nowadays even though we did it religiously for years and years. This having to work for a living gets in the way of a lot of things. I am going to do my best to get a couple of super stands ready for Spencer and myself and relax until opening day of gun season. Good luck to everyone.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Christmas Place Torture

We have been working hard to get ready for deer season. Planting, cutting wood, and in general getting everything ready has taken a lot of time. What are the deer doing? Their strategy right now is to torture my Dad and anyone else they can find. For example, Saturday evening Dad and Ms Dorothy sat on the back patio to enjoy the sunset and those damn deer put their evil plan into effect.
Looking up the hill they see a giant buck munching on a salt block in the wide open. Five minutes later a herd of does come out and wander around the backyard. Ten minutes later two big bucks mosey across the back yard in slow motion just to torture him. In 30 minutes they saw 20 deer including the big bucks. This torture must be stopped!

Monday, September 20, 2010

A Blaze Orange Winner

I received notification from my old friend, Jim Braaten at The Sportsmans Blog , that I was a winner in his facebook contest. I didn't even know I had entered! I eagerly opened the package he mailed and pulled out one of the finest quality hunting caps I have ever seen. If you fly over the Christmas Place this fall, you will have no trouble spotting me. Jim has been blogging a long time and I would appreciate everyone going over to his site to say hi and check into his quality merchandise.
This hat feels lucky, I can feel a ten-point in my future!

that's a goofy looking dude!

Friday, September 17, 2010

The Golden Grunt Call 1

Somewhere near the North Pole (Merritt, British Columbia) at the heart of an old abandoned mine, the mysterious gazillionaire Othmar Vohringer worked at the heat of a roaring forge. Fire and sparks flew as he beat the glowing metal into shape for his wondrous new invention.
Late into the night he labored in the secret mine with sweat running down his massive bronze chest and arms as he gripped the hammer to beat and shape the bars of pure gold into shape for the final firing
Carefully, the pure gold was poured into the form while his trusty apprentice Rex Howell kept the bellows pumping at just the right temperature.
Each piece was exquisitely hand crafted and Othmar had spent the day hammering the gold into a fine sheet to make the pieces which he now placed together for the final firing. The blaze grew and a bright orange glow filled the hidden cavern as Othmar watched. At just the right moment the huge tongs reached into the fire and pulled out the mold. Quickly it was doused into a bucket of water and Othmar placed the mold on the table, pried it apart and stared at his beautiful work through the steam and smoke.
“Eureka” and “Sacre Bleu’” he shouted as he danced and chuckled to himself.
The Golden Grunt Call lay in his hands shining in the firelight. The most wondrous grunt call ever made and he imagined the beautiful and melodious sound it would make to lure in the biggest and mightiest of whitetail bucks. He slowly raised it to his lips and blew.
Squawwwk, Quack, Quack, MOOOO!
He stared, his face turned red, he threw it to the floor in a rage, he even threw in some bad words as he jumped up and down on the worthless deer call.
The fire had been too hot!
Damn that apprentice!
Back to the drawing board.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Deer Days Of Summer

The nights are getting cooler but the days are still hot here in Mississippi. Hot, still days with no air and the grass is turning brown from lack of rain. It is almost fall. They are picking cotton now on the Christmas Place and it won't be long until October, bow-season and Halloween. should have two or three good stories for this years Ghost Stories. This is the time of year when you are continually waiting for it all to start. I will start checking in on all my blog friends to see what's going on in their neck of the woods.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Squirrel Camp Letters Are Out

Monday, September 13, 2010

Planting Day

Planting below the leevee (a good place for deer or hogs, Phillip)

Moe, Larry, Curly

Friday, September 10, 2010

Organizing A Screw-Up

We will be getting in to camp tonight for our big planting weekend and there are a lot of things to talk over and get organized for Saturday. We all have different ideas but I am pretty sure how it will shake out.
1. Trent take tractor somewhere to plow while we get seed and fertilizer on trucks.
2. make sure Paul doesn't slip off to go scouting while we work.
3. go to fields with small tractor, have help loading seed.
4. make sure Paul doesn't disappear.
5. at each field, repair stands, clear shooting lanes.
6. keep one eye on Paul
7. cut out roads leading in and out of each field.
8. don't let Paul take off on 4-wheeler
9. keep water and cold drinks coming from someone while logs and sticks are picked up out of fields
10. not Paul

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Busy Weekend On Tap

It's planting time and a whole lot is planned for this weekend. The fertilizer and seed has been ordered and everyone is supposed to show up to help. We are going to start the tractor Friday across the Beaverdam and have that ready to plant for Saturday. The tractor will move to the bottom to disk while we do that. We also have to check each stand while we are working, have to get the pontoon boat off the lake, and cut firewood too. 7 sacks wheat, 24 sacks fertilizer, 4 sacks rye grass and some damn turnips for Dad. This is for hand seeding. We have ordered big buggys of a mix for the flatlands.

Dove opener was poor like the rest of the weekend but hey it was Michaels birthday!

Monday, September 06, 2010

That Was Quick

Wow! Now that football season is over, I guess I can concentrate on something important, like deer hunting. See you in the woods!

Friday, September 03, 2010

Dove Season Arrives

Dove season starts bright and early tomorrow moprning so get your shotgun out and clean the dirt-dobbers out of the barrel tonight.
We have sunflowers planted below the leevee and should have a good hunt if the damn hogs haven't destroyed the whole field.
Dad and Guy Dale are already down there making sure everything is ready. Paul and Trent are headed that way tonight. I will be staying here and getting ready for the game. Will give you a play-by-play of the game and the hunt later.

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Gasping for Football


I made it! Today is Thursday and college football starts tonight. Don't call and don't text because I will be watching feetball tonight.
The Ole Miss rebels start their season saturday and I will be in the Grove with 50,000 of my friends. For the best tailgating experience and the most fun you can have come visit us for one of the games this year. Here is a preview of what it's like.

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Don't Text On Me


The Mailrider is driving his big rig up in Connecticut right now and has nothing better to do (since he works for the Post Office) than text me every five minutes. "How're the Rebels? Where you going to hunt? Are the fields ready? When yo going to camp? Where you going to hunt?
Hey! I'm working over here, trying to earn a living.
I'm not telling him jack-squat. Every time I do, he begs to hunt there and then shoots a big ten-point.
I text back an old line from the 70's "SUFFER"