Deer Camp Blog

Deer Camp Blog- the outdoor column of The Bodock Times- (a satirical periodical) Humor and Hunting at the famous Christmas Place Plantation Hunting Club on the edge of the Mississippi Delta

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Thursday, June 30, 2011

Howell Golf

The famous Howell Open is this Saturday. On this relaxing weekend, we do our damndest to beat the hell out of each other playing golf, using any trick in the book. On this occassion there are some simple rules you need to know to understand this blood feud.
1. Gamesmanship knowledge is vital. If you do not understand it you will get your ass beat.
2. Never play on Pauls team. The object is to take all of his money and send him home crying. You may lose but if you beat his sorry butt it is that much sweeter.
3. Never count Dad out. (that should be rule #1)
4. Never piss Dad off. You will get beat.
5. Never piss Bebo off. You will get beat.
6. Rules are just kind of guidelines. Play them to your advantage.
7. Most important. IF YOU GET YOUR OPPONENT DOWN, STOMP ON HIS NECK UNTIL THERE IS NOT ANOTHER DIME LEFT IN HIS POCKET.
These rules should get you through the weekend, will report the blood loss after the fourth.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Strange Sighting

This vaguely humanoid creature was recently spotted at the famous Christmas Place. What is it? Bigfoot? some strange half hog, half human experiment? a mutated Wildebeast? a burnicevelociraptor? someones pitiful grandpa? something from a horror movie? Come back and visit while we track this strange hideous creature that probably escaped from the Island of Dr. Moreau.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Too Hot To Fish



What do you do at the famous Christmas Place when it is too hot to fish? Burney and Austin climbed up the spillway and jumped in to cool off.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Yachting With Senor Stewart


Senor Mark Stewart of the Germantown Stewarts and his jet-setting wife just arrived back in the United States after an extended trip to Acapulco, Mexico. He said "it's good to get back here with the little people".
This weekend the two socialites will be aboard their Yacht anchored on Sardis Lake and have invited several guest to join them if they have enough room. He said " All work and no play is not the best way to enjoy perfectly chilled champagne" The wealthy playboy and his vivacious wife are looking for some relaxation after a whole week of work.
see you there!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Fishing with Hershel

I am not a big fisherman. In fact, I do not quite get hunting something that you can't see. This does not mean that I don't understand how to fish or exactly what to do when I am out there. I have been on a hundred fishing trips with my father and there are some important lessons learned that I would like to share.
1. Whoever controls the boat catches the most fish.
2. Quit bitching, quit talking, I'm trying to fish.
3. Pee over the side of the boat, no the other damn side!
4. Sorry, I only have one of these jigs.
5. Get your own damn hook out of the tree, we're catching 'em like crazy.
There are a few more but you get the drift. In fact fishing with him reminds me of a song.

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Monday, June 20, 2011

The Christmas Place Fishing Rodeo

It did not start out as a fishing rodeo, but it ended up being a great time for everyone. Denise, Erin, her friend Destiny, Camo and myself headed down to camp friday afternoon and got there just in time for a wonderful crappie dinner. Burney and Davin Lammey were already there and had been fishing with Paul Jones all afternoon. They caught a bunch of fish and the next morning they hit it hard again.
Brian Henry and his boys showed up to fish too and had a great time.
Troy Cone and his friend David came in and hit the lake too, so we had a herd of people enjoying some great fishing while the rest of us goofed around the camp or rode 4-wheelers.
It was nice to get out of town and forget work for a day or two and everyone enjoyed themselves.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Gabriel Scores!!!!!

Now that's a bear!
Gabriel is my brother, James, youngest son and this is his first bear and was taken in the wilds of Alaska. congratulations!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The Howell Open


Golf is a four letter word. I had been getting better and better and now am reduced to the shanks and can't hit the ball to save my soul. This happens just as it is time for the famous Howell Open that occurs around the fourth of July every year. All of us go at it hard that weekend to beat the crap out of each other and my evil brother just called (no, the one on the coast) and said he is playing great. Crap! Just what I needed to hear.
I guess he has nothing to do all day except sue people and play golf.
I swear, this having to work for a living is killing me!

Monday, June 13, 2011

August In June


What the hell is going on? A month ago I was freezing to death and now I can't walk outside without feeling like I am going to melt. It is 100 degrees every day here. This is not supposed to happen until August.
To top it off, we are in the middle of a drought and have not seen rain in over a couple of months now. Camo is sleeping on top of the A/C vent.
Hope we get a break in the weather soon or this may become the dust bowl of the South.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Appraisals From Hell


You would think doing home appraisals would be easy. You drive up to the house, get out and take a glance and you already know what it's worth. I haven't seen but ten billion just like it. So knowing the rough value is not a problem. Dealing with AMC's is the problem. They have ten thousand people sitting around an office with nothing to do except critique your appraisal after you submit it. They want corrections to make it fit perfectly into some system that they have and in rural Mississippi that is very difficult. These are the appraisals from hell that you can't get off your desk. I have had a slew of these lately. Thank god, I have work, and I am figuring out how to get past the pratfalls of having to do countless corrections so maybe I can blog a little more in the next few weeks.

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Riding In Style

Cadillac!!Eat your heart out!!

Monday, June 06, 2011

Hot Fishing




Alan Mcleod sent this pic of a recent successful fihing trip to the famous Christmas Place. His host (Your Evilness) will not let him shoot one of our big old deerses but relented and let him catch a fish.

Thursday, June 02, 2011

Snakes Foreclosure


Some people say this foreclosure happened in Walls, MS at some house up there (John).
I think this is in Idaho though.

Snakes In The House