Deer Camp Blog

Deer Camp Blog- the outdoor column of The Bodock Times- (a satirical periodical) Humor and Hunting at the famous Christmas Place Plantation Hunting Club on the edge of the Mississippi Delta


Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Correct Hog Dental Care

Dr. Barry "Pliers" Weeks was at the famous Christmas Place last weekend and effectively showed the correct dental care that wild hogs need, by blasting a big boar into smithereens at 175 yards on the Gamewarden Stand. This is the good dentists first hog and we hope that he will come down and do some more extractions soon.

Monday, April 27, 2015

Three Blind Hogs Find A Hog

This past weekend Trent Howell took two of his old classmates to the famous Christmas Place on a hog hunting expedition and miracle of miracles they actually scored. Robby Parsons aka Mossy Eyes and Van Hedges aka Hog Jumper. Yes, Water Valley boys, and they had a great hunt. They say even a stopped clock is right twice a day, and a bunch of old blind hogs can find a hog every now and then.

Monday, April 20, 2015

A Week Of Parties

Party,Party, Party! that's all I do. First there was the gigantic Boonswaggle at Snookys which is the social event of the year with all the elite making an appearance. I know, but somehow my name keeps appearing on the invite list. Thank you, Denise.
Another great party by Snooky and Mary Lou- thank you.
Next up was the JA Spring Fling at the Country Club. Denise and I made several bids at the silent auction, were told we won the Dance contest (since no one else was dancing), had a great dinner, visited with friends and walked off with a beautiful white glass bowl from the auction. I am worn out.
I hear the famous Christmas Place is lovely this time of year.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Appraising Rural Mississippi

I have been appraising land and homes in north Mississippi for right at 30 years and think that I know which end of a measuring tape to hold by now. The appraisal business is rapidly changing but the basics are still what you have to learn. I am looking into doing seminars or talking to student classes about what it takes to appraise real estate, what the future holds, and real life application to get the job done. If you think your school or class would be interested in me speaking to them, please email me at

Tuesday, April 07, 2015

Easter With My 3 Favorite Ladies

Easter we all went to church here in Water Valley at the First Methodist Church. My lovely Denise and my daughters Sarah and Erin. They were beautiful, the service was great and the whole thing was really pleasant. Much to my surprise, the roof did not fall in and I think the message that I received helped my troubled soul. Here we are.

Saturday, April 04, 2015

The Hog Man to Leave Texas

WHAT?!!! The internet is abuzz with the news that the mythical gun-toting, hog-killing, debonair, romantic swash-buckler, Phillip is leaving Texas. In fact, he is leaving Texas as fast as he can. Why? you say, WHY? A little research from the Bodock Times has investigated and thoroughly researched his escapades and there is only one reason....

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Thoughts For Spring

People have been emailing me and calling wanting to know why I have not been writing in my blog very much. "What's wrong?, Have you quit?, What's the problem?, Are you OK?, Hey, want to move to Texas? Thank you all for your concern.
It has been a long, hard, cold, bleak, never-ending winter that has left me totally drained and lost until now. Today finally feels like Spring is actually going to show up and left me with these thoughts on the beginning of Spring.
Am I actually going to get to play golf this year?
What the hell is Thunderhoof doing right now?
Does my dog have rabies?
Does my wife have rabies?
Is there a vacation in my future?
Why the heck am I paying taxes when I'm broke?
Is this the beginning of the Age of Aquarius?
How long can I avoid my evil brothers, Satan and Lucifer?
My God! Didn't I just mow my grass in October?
What are those purple trees?
I will be trying to get back up to speed with this change in the weather. Hope to see you at the Christmas Place.

Friday, March 20, 2015

Who Knew I Was Lady Madonna?

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

My Dad Is Going To Kill Me!

Dad has been gone less than a year and I have already wrecked his truck. I am expecting him to show up at any time madder than hell. PS. Yes, Ice is smarter than me.

Monday, March 09, 2015

My Birthday....

My Birthday!

Thursday, March 05, 2015

Hog Camp 2015

You have seen most of these peoples picture at the Post Office.

Monday, March 02, 2015

Silence Of The Hams

The 6th Annual Hog Hunt at the famous Christmas Place was this past weekend and even though no one was killed, gored, or eaten we had a great time. My cousin Davin finally got a hog!
Well if he could kill a hog, anybody could and lo and behold one of our Yankee guests (Jay) got a hog too!

It was a great weekend with 2 hogs taken by our hunters and then someone showed up with a night vision scope and 3 were taken that way. I think they have quit squealing.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Hog Hunt Update

The Christmas Place Annual Hog Hunt is set for Feb27-March1. Please check with your local doctor or psychiatrist on what to do if you are gored by a wild hog. There Will Be Blood! Last man alive wins!

Monday, February 16, 2015

Me and Thunderhoof Up On A Tightwire

Tuesday, February 03, 2015

The Cold Days of February

It has been a long, hard winter and February is time to circle around the fire and let the winds howl outside and snuggle up with a friend. Luckily for Denise she has her new dog Gracie to keep her warm. (Not so lucky for me).

Friday, January 30, 2015

Send In The Demons

This is it, the last possible day of deer season. Saturday is the last day and everyone is sick and tired and ready to do something else. Everyone that is, except for my brothers , Satan and Lucifer. They are Good To Go! Nevermind that most of the bucks have dropped their antlers, their wives are sitting in divorce court waiting on a ruling and their children call the milkman Dad. Paul and Trent are heading to camp come hell or high water. Good Luck to them but I've had all I want, it is time to take care of a few things around the old homestead.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Russell Causes Havoc

This past weekend was slow at the famous Christmas Place but Russell Hearns came up with Paul and managed to kill a deer and a hog.
In fact, he about ran out of bullets blasting at critters all weekend. Here he is with a really nice hog he whacked at the Taj stand.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Trent (FINALLY) Gets His buck

I know you all say that my poor brother Lucifer just doesn't have enough time to hunt and it's a real shame. I stay awake worrying about it. This year he has hunted very hard and here at the tail end of the season he finally got  a nice big buck. I'm very proud that he kept fighting through to get him even after what a hard and long year it's been. Plus it is a great buck. Maybe he can help me get mine the last weekend. Congratulations Trent!

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Marian Gets Her Hog

All Marian has really wanted to do for the last 4 or 5 years is get a hog, but never got the chance. This past weekend she visited us at the famous Christmas Place and finally connected on a big 180 lb. hog at 100 yards and dropped the big sow in her tracks. It was a really good shot and she was the happiest huntress in the woods. Here is a pic of her and the big hog and a big, big congratulations to her!

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Hunting On The Back Side Of Mordor

It has been a bad year, and an even worse deer season for me. I feel like I have been hunting on some lonely god-forsaken spot on the backside of Mordor while my evil brother Sauron (Paul) laughs at me. Thank God it is almost over.
I have just a few weekends left if I can hold out. There are still a few big ones roaming around if I don't panic. Hope to give better
news if I can get this damn Orc army off my back.

Thursday, January 08, 2015

Bumblehoof and Lightfoot

A classic setting at the Yalobusha Country Club on New Years Eve as Joe "Lightfoot" Black danced his way into every woman's heart with his light Fred Astair dance movements. Trent "Bumblehoof"
Howell tried to keep up with him but Who Could? Joe knows dancing.
Denise and I had a great time with everyone and really enjoyed the party. Hope 2015 is better for all of us.

Tuesday, January 06, 2015

Quick Buck

Mark Stewart hasn't hunted very much this year, but this weekend he came down with the Tennessee contingent of Clint and Brandon to get after the deer. 
I had been hunting in the rain for two days and as usual seen nothing, but he comes rambling into camp, wanders down to the Levee stand, a big buck walks out in a pure suicide attempt and he obliges by blasting a hole in him. Here he is with the wide 7-point and Clint has a doe he took at the same time.

Monday, January 05, 2015

Ring, Ring, Ring

Yes, the phone did ring and Satan himself was on the other end when I answered. "Hello," I  managed and the voice said "Mule On The Pole!, muleonthepole  muleonthepole,  muleonthepole,  muleonthepole, blah, blah, blah. He proceeded to tell of his unbelievable and legendary deer hunting skills and how he shot the 190 lb. 11-point on the Box Field stand, and mentioned that Michael got a coyote.
I've got to get worse service on my cell phone.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Tick, Tick, Tick

Paul and Michael have the whole Christmas Place to themselves for the next couple of days while Trent and I are here in Water Valley working and trying to earn a damn living. Tick, tick, tick, we are waiting on the phone to ring with some god-awful story of a giant mule that Paul has blasted. Worked all morning, tick, tick, tick. Now it is mid-afternoon, tick, tick, tick. Time keeps easing on by with no phone calls yet. I swear I am going up that lake one more time and blast the hell out of that big buck up there. The Peach Bowl is tomorrow at 11:30 AM. tick, tick, tick but I am heading South on New Years Day to start my year off right with a big buck. tick, tick, tick Don't think I could stand it if the phone rings. tick, tick, tick

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Rebels To ThunderhoofDome Bowl

After many late night meetings in smoke filled rooms between the members of the Bowl Committee and The famous Christmas Place hunting Club, The Ole Miss Rebels are headed to the ThunderhoofDome Bowl. The Bowl has been renamed after many vague promises of buried treasure more vast than any Dwarf horde ever seen. Besides that the Committee was terrified every time Thunderhoof appeared in their offices. So no matter what the signs say, the Rebels are headed to TunderhoofDome.
Two teams enter, One team leaves.

Monday, December 08, 2014

Burney is Number 1

While I was up here working like a dog, the rest of the members of the famous Christmas Place were at the camp hunting, drinking, and texting me all kind of crap. Burney slipped out and hunted the stand I had wanted to hunt. DAMN! He hunted the #1 field and late in the afternoon this big buck came bursting out chasing 4 does. Right Under Him. DAMN! He wasted no time and this super nice 185lb. 8-point with an 18 inch spread was his. DAMN!

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Chivalry is Dead, and So is Wanda's Buck

My evil brother, no Paul, shot this fine deer last weekend as he snatched the rifle out of his wife's hand when it walked out into an open field at the famous Christmas Place. He had taken her hunting to maybe shoot a doe when this buck walked out. Paul said "Wanda there's a big buck, hand me the rifle." She started to aim and said "I see it." Paul said "You'll miss, give me the rifle! She said "I'm going to shoot him" He grabbed for the rifle and all hell broke loose in the stand. A terrible fight started as he tried to wrestle the gun away from her, the stand was shaking, screams and curses filled the air as he finally got her to the floor and snatched the gun away. The poor deer was only 50 yards away minding it's own business and wondering what the hell all the commotion was as Paul came up with the rifle and started blasting away. Ah, Paul has this nice 190 lb. 8-point on the pole to start the 2014 season but is sleeping with one eye open as Wanda plots her revenge.

Friday, November 21, 2014


It is once again Deer Eve in Mississippi and outside my office I can hear the distant sounds of people sighting-in their rifles at the last minute. I am at work but my mind is far away thinking about the big buck that I know is slipping through the woods waiting on me. We are headed to camp at Noon and hope to have the camp open and everything ready to go before dark. Tonight there will be a nice fire to talk old stories around, a few drinks after a long wait, fresh crappie for dinner, and a whole lot of anticipation for daylight to come.
I wish you all well and please look for my picture in the New York Times after I slay that damn Thunderhoof. Good Luck!

Thursday, November 13, 2014

It Starts- Deer Season 2014

Deer season is upon us and the first muzzle-loading season is now open. We are heading to camp tomorrow for the first weekend of the season in hopes of thinning the doe herd. It will be strange without Dad but we hope to have a good time and get a bunch of deer removed and hopefully some hogs too. Will try to keep Paul the Terrible and Trent the Grouchy under control. I'll give a report as soon as possible after the weekend.

Thursday, November 06, 2014

15 Minutes A Year

I have to give credit, where credit is due. My evil brother, Paul, works 15 minutes a year at the famous Christmas Place whether he needs to or not.