Deer Camp Blog

Deer Camp Blog- the outdoor column of The Bodock Times- (a satirical periodical) Humor and Hunting at the famous Christmas Place Plantation Hunting Club on the edge of the Mississippi Delta


Thursday, July 23, 2015

Newest Fashion "The Trump Look"

see, you can get anything online.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

I'm Being Punished

No, I am very proud that my daughter Erin has enrolled at Southern Miss and I wish her all the happiness in the world.

Friday, July 10, 2015

Erin's New Ride

Tuesday, July 07, 2015

The Howell Open 2015

July 4th is the time for family get-togethers, barbeques,  watermelon, fireworks and cold beer, but in Water Valley it is also time for the Howell Open.
The Howell Open is set up as a scramble among the family and a few close friends. Now most of our cousins either don't play golf or play once a year whether they need to or not.
This is not a quiet game. Catcalls and Intimidation are the fanfare of the day.
BUT ONCE AGAIN, using my superlative golf skills and mental focus, I led my team to ULTIMATE VICTORY over those losers we played against.
Here is a group photo for the Howell Open
 Here is a pic of the winning team of Rex Howell, Paul Howell, James Howell and Matt Bullion who captured the famous Howell Towel Trophy for 2015.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Tractor Races Cancelled

The annual tractor race at the famous Christmas Place has been cancelled by Trent (Lucifer) Howell. This race usually starts at the Rally Camp lodge, winds across the property into the Great Swamp above the lake, cuts up along Thorny Ridge then drops back off into the Misty Forest, up Heart Attack Hill and a steep descent into Quick Sand Flats and back to the Camp. This fun event usually ends with screaming, cursing, fisticuffs and burning tractors. A great time is had by all.
This year Lucifer has claimed Old Blue as his own and will not let anyone take it. He took the key and skedaddled for the Coast before we could beat him back to his senses and the race has been cancelled. Sorry (no refunds).

Thursday, June 04, 2015

The Neantherdal Club

In an unsurprising twist of fate, Paul Howell was named Male Chauvinist Viking of the Year by the Biloxi-Gulfport Neantherdal Club. This group of Men is well known throughout the Gulfcoast area and Paul Howell is especially known (he just has a way with women)
Voting was established by the Gulfport, Biloxi, and Harrison County Women's Garden Clubs, the Ladies Auxillary, Daughters of the Confederacy, the Biloxi Lady Seabees Assn.
and the Harrison County Humane Society. Paul said "It's a great honor to be acknowledged for my consistent attention to the gals" This is his 7th time winning.

Friday, May 29, 2015

GRADUATION 2015- Erin Howell

Yes, Graduation on the Mississippi Gulf Coast is this weekend. Erin Howell, who once penned the Jr. Bodock Times is now graduating from Gulfport High School and on the verge of stepping off into another life in college. Everyone is abuzz and Denise, Thunderhoof and I are heading that way to see the event. Congratulations to my wonderful, smart and warm daughter.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Correct Hog Dental Care

Dr. Barry "Pliers" Weeks was at the famous Christmas Place last weekend and effectively showed the correct dental care that wild hogs need, by blasting a big boar into smithereens at 175 yards on the Gamewarden Stand. This is the good dentists first hog and we hope that he will come down and do some more extractions soon.

Monday, April 27, 2015

Three Blind Hogs Find A Hog

This past weekend Trent Howell took two of his old classmates to the famous Christmas Place on a hog hunting expedition and miracle of miracles they actually scored. Robby Parsons aka Mossy Eyes and Van Hedges aka Hog Jumper. Yes, Water Valley boys, and they had a great hunt. They say even a stopped clock is right twice a day, and a bunch of old blind hogs can find a hog every now and then.

Monday, April 20, 2015

A Week Of Parties

Party,Party, Party! that's all I do. First there was the gigantic Boonswaggle at Snookys which is the social event of the year with all the elite making an appearance. I know, but somehow my name keeps appearing on the invite list. Thank you, Denise.
Another great party by Snooky and Mary Lou- thank you.
Next up was the JA Spring Fling at the Country Club. Denise and I made several bids at the silent auction, were told we won the Dance contest (since no one else was dancing), had a great dinner, visited with friends and walked off with a beautiful white glass bowl from the auction. I am worn out.
I hear the famous Christmas Place is lovely this time of year.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Appraising Rural Mississippi

I have been appraising land and homes in north Mississippi for right at 30 years and think that I know which end of a measuring tape to hold by now. The appraisal business is rapidly changing but the basics are still what you have to learn. I am looking into doing seminars or talking to student classes about what it takes to appraise real estate, what the future holds, and real life application to get the job done. If you think your school or class would be interested in me speaking to them, please email me at

Tuesday, April 07, 2015

Easter With My 3 Favorite Ladies

Easter we all went to church here in Water Valley at the First Methodist Church. My lovely Denise and my daughters Sarah and Erin. They were beautiful, the service was great and the whole thing was really pleasant. Much to my surprise, the roof did not fall in and I think the message that I received helped my troubled soul. Here we are.

Saturday, April 04, 2015

The Hog Man to Leave Texas

WHAT?!!! The internet is abuzz with the news that the mythical gun-toting, hog-killing, debonair, romantic swash-buckler, Phillip is leaving Texas. In fact, he is leaving Texas as fast as he can. Why? you say, WHY? A little research from the Bodock Times has investigated and thoroughly researched his escapades and there is only one reason....

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Thoughts For Spring

People have been emailing me and calling wanting to know why I have not been writing in my blog very much. "What's wrong?, Have you quit?, What's the problem?, Are you OK?, Hey, want to move to Texas? Thank you all for your concern.
It has been a long, hard, cold, bleak, never-ending winter that has left me totally drained and lost until now. Today finally feels like Spring is actually going to show up and left me with these thoughts on the beginning of Spring.
Am I actually going to get to play golf this year?
What the hell is Thunderhoof doing right now?
Does my dog have rabies?
Does my wife have rabies?
Is there a vacation in my future?
Why the heck am I paying taxes when I'm broke?
Is this the beginning of the Age of Aquarius?
How long can I avoid my evil brothers, Satan and Lucifer?
My God! Didn't I just mow my grass in October?
What are those purple trees?
I will be trying to get back up to speed with this change in the weather. Hope to see you at the Christmas Place.

Friday, March 20, 2015

Who Knew I Was Lady Madonna?

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

My Dad Is Going To Kill Me!

Dad has been gone less than a year and I have already wrecked his truck. I am expecting him to show up at any time madder than hell. PS. Yes, Ice is smarter than me.

Monday, March 09, 2015

My Birthday....

My Birthday!

Thursday, March 05, 2015

Hog Camp 2015

You have seen most of these peoples picture at the Post Office.

Monday, March 02, 2015

Silence Of The Hams

The 6th Annual Hog Hunt at the famous Christmas Place was this past weekend and even though no one was killed, gored, or eaten we had a great time. My cousin Davin finally got a hog!
Well if he could kill a hog, anybody could and lo and behold one of our Yankee guests (Jay) got a hog too!

It was a great weekend with 2 hogs taken by our hunters and then someone showed up with a night vision scope and 3 were taken that way. I think they have quit squealing.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Hog Hunt Update

The Christmas Place Annual Hog Hunt is set for Feb27-March1. Please check with your local doctor or psychiatrist on what to do if you are gored by a wild hog. There Will Be Blood! Last man alive wins!

Monday, February 16, 2015

Me and Thunderhoof Up On A Tightwire

Tuesday, February 03, 2015

The Cold Days of February

It has been a long, hard winter and February is time to circle around the fire and let the winds howl outside and snuggle up with a friend. Luckily for Denise she has her new dog Gracie to keep her warm. (Not so lucky for me).

Friday, January 30, 2015

Send In The Demons

This is it, the last possible day of deer season. Saturday is the last day and everyone is sick and tired and ready to do something else. Everyone that is, except for my brothers , Satan and Lucifer. They are Good To Go! Nevermind that most of the bucks have dropped their antlers, their wives are sitting in divorce court waiting on a ruling and their children call the milkman Dad. Paul and Trent are heading to camp come hell or high water. Good Luck to them but I've had all I want, it is time to take care of a few things around the old homestead.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Russell Causes Havoc

This past weekend was slow at the famous Christmas Place but Russell Hearns came up with Paul and managed to kill a deer and a hog.
In fact, he about ran out of bullets blasting at critters all weekend. Here he is with a really nice hog he whacked at the Taj stand.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Trent (FINALLY) Gets His buck

I know you all say that my poor brother Lucifer just doesn't have enough time to hunt and it's a real shame. I stay awake worrying about it. This year he has hunted very hard and here at the tail end of the season he finally got  a nice big buck. I'm very proud that he kept fighting through to get him even after what a hard and long year it's been. Plus it is a great buck. Maybe he can help me get mine the last weekend. Congratulations Trent!

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Marian Gets Her Hog

All Marian has really wanted to do for the last 4 or 5 years is get a hog, but never got the chance. This past weekend she visited us at the famous Christmas Place and finally connected on a big 180 lb. hog at 100 yards and dropped the big sow in her tracks. It was a really good shot and she was the happiest huntress in the woods. Here is a pic of her and the big hog and a big, big congratulations to her!

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Hunting On The Back Side Of Mordor

It has been a bad year, and an even worse deer season for me. I feel like I have been hunting on some lonely god-forsaken spot on the backside of Mordor while my evil brother Sauron (Paul) laughs at me. Thank God it is almost over.
I have just a few weekends left if I can hold out. There are still a few big ones roaming around if I don't panic. Hope to give better
news if I can get this damn Orc army off my back.

Thursday, January 08, 2015

Bumblehoof and Lightfoot

A classic setting at the Yalobusha Country Club on New Years Eve as Joe "Lightfoot" Black danced his way into every woman's heart with his light Fred Astair dance movements. Trent "Bumblehoof"
Howell tried to keep up with him but Who Could? Joe knows dancing.
Denise and I had a great time with everyone and really enjoyed the party. Hope 2015 is better for all of us.

Tuesday, January 06, 2015

Quick Buck

Mark Stewart hasn't hunted very much this year, but this weekend he came down with the Tennessee contingent of Clint and Brandon to get after the deer. 
I had been hunting in the rain for two days and as usual seen nothing, but he comes rambling into camp, wanders down to the Levee stand, a big buck walks out in a pure suicide attempt and he obliges by blasting a hole in him. Here he is with the wide 7-point and Clint has a doe he took at the same time.

Monday, January 05, 2015

Ring, Ring, Ring

Yes, the phone did ring and Satan himself was on the other end when I answered. "Hello," I  managed and the voice said "Mule On The Pole!, muleonthepole  muleonthepole,  muleonthepole,  muleonthepole, blah, blah, blah. He proceeded to tell of his unbelievable and legendary deer hunting skills and how he shot the 190 lb. 11-point on the Box Field stand, and mentioned that Michael got a coyote.
I've got to get worse service on my cell phone.