That's What I'm Talking About!
Deer Camp Blog- the outdoor column of The Bodock Times- (a satirical periodical) Humor and Hunting at the famous Christmas Place Plantation Hunting Club on the edge of the Mississippi Delta
We had a great time at the Hog camp 2014 but the hogs did not cooperate. Joe, one of the frozen boys from Minnesota, managed to get two to keep us from being blanked but the rumor was that the hogs were on strike because the most famous of all hog hunters did not show.
Labels: Hog Camp
This is for the Minnesota hog hunters coming to the famous Christmas Place this weekend for our Annual Hog Camp. This is a simple list of what to do while you are here and what we are hunting.
As our intrepid hunters enter the woods this year at the 2014 Hog Camp, I want to remind them that there are three very important tracks to look for in the woods and they need to know to differentiate them. the first is deer tracks
It is Hog Week here at the famous Christmas Place and once again our tried and true scientific hunters are getting ready to search for the elusive man-eating Hogopotamus. This strange and rare beast is the deadliest predator on the Christmas Place and has been known to sink a boat full of fishermen with no survivors, shake off even the direct shots of Paul the Terrible, flatten ATV's and kill deer and humans with impunity. This beast must be dealt with. At an estimated 3000 lbs. by those lucky enough to survive an encounter and able to run like a deer and dive into water and disappear it is a fearsome creature that we have striven to kill every year. Lucky we have the hog man, Phillip of Texas, the most feared hog hunter in the world heading towards us as fast as he can. If he lives, I am sure it will be a great story. Here is a pic that the deceased photographer from National Geographic took just before his demise.
Labels: Hog Camp
You know, I have discovered that most of my hunting buddies have no understanding of art. My evil brothers, Satan (Paul) and Beezlebub (Trent), could live in a room for 20 years and never hang a picture on the wall. Marks idea of art is a velvet painting of Hulk Hogan.
We had our annual Valentines Day dinner with Mark and Kim Stewart. Denise looked great as we cozied up to the bar to wait on our friends. Marks's son, Drew and his fiancée Amy joined us along with her parents. We drank, ate, talked, tried to embarrass Drew and had a very nice time. Hey, did you know that Sake goes straight to your head? It was nice to finally have a nice relaxed meal with friends. Did I mention that Denise looked great? She is my Valentine.
I started this blog in February 2006 during another hard cold winter and have managed to keep it going for 8 years. A very long time in which I have recounted all of the absolutely TRUE stories that involve our family and friends at the famous Christmas Place. Ihope that you have enjoyed them and look forward to the weird and continuing sage of our dysfunctional hunting clan.
In the deepest part of Texas the Hog Assassin moves through the brush tracking his quarry. Do not fear he always gets his prey. There's not a hog out there that can outsmart Phillip Loughlin the world acclaimed Hog Assassin. He's killed more hogs than Carter has liver pills. He's killed more hogs than my brother Satan (the one from the coast) has killed trophy bucks. He's killed more hogs than you can count on both hands and your feet, and he is coming to Mississippi for the Hog Aporkalypse on February 28th. Be ready because he is coming with fire in his eyes and his trusty rifle of death.
Labels: Hog Camp
When the Aporkalypse hit, the members of the famous Christmas Place Plantation and Survivalist Club were trapped at our camp in the Mississippi Delta. All we had Whiskey, Cigars, Rifles and Bullets and the lonely working girls of Vaiden to help us survive. IT WAS GREAT!!!!!
Labels: Hog Camp
Sunday was GroundDeer Day at the famous Christmas Place Plantation. That is the day that all the big bucks come out of their holes after deer season. Dad was once again up on Rattlers Knob babying the damn things and feeding them with buckets of corn.
The tracks have been found and now everyone knows that it is not safe to go into the woods at the famous Christmas Place. The giant evil creature shows up around the first of February each year and hangs around until April. During that time it ravages any crops it can find and kills and eats any animal it can creep up on. This giant hog is known in these parts as "The Creeper" with tusks almost a foot long. We still go to camp but bar the doors at night and only let Camo go out at night to guard the house. That's one mean dog! This year we are having a hog camp centered around only one thing. Kill the Creeper. Will let you know how many hunters we lose in the effort.
This past weekend was the last go round for deer season at the famous Christmas Place. The deer have all left on vacation away from the cold weather but the hogs have moved in and are doing fine. We killed no deer this weekend but a bunch of hogs hit the ground!
Yes, he is out there- creeping, sneaking, dodging, hiding and being mostly invisible. I know that the 300 pound buck is somewhere lurking on the famous Christmas Place Plantation and I personally plan on putting a bullet in him on this coming last weekend of deer season. Will have lots of pics and describe my great hunt after I put this monster down. I am sure it will make national headlines.
Soothe, that as the bleak days of an endless and hopeless deer season stretched out before me,
|Paul&Rex- Road to Rhodesia|
Spencer and I rushed to camp on Friday and got there a little after 4 o'clock. By the time we got dressed, we had about an hour to hunt. We jumped on the 4-wheeler and headed to the closest stands we knew of, the Sneaky Stand and the Sand Ditch Stand. I got on the Sneaky and Spencer headed up the logging road to the Sand Ditch. He couldn't have been there 5 minutes when I heard him shoot.
Jake and Mark Bellipanni just bought the property next to us (yeah, that's right, from Belzoni) and dropped by to visit this past weekend. Super people and we think, great neighbors except for one small thing. Mark showed us the picture of the big 12 point he whacked over there and as you can see, it is a damn MULE!
This 8-pt with a crazy rack came by me last week. 17 1/2 inches wide, the left antler curved down and around the deer's ear with a big hook jutting out the side. On the hook was a baby
Our cousins came to visit this past weekend to see us for Christmas because, as you know, we can't leave the woods long enough to see anyone. Peter and Pete Locke of Virginia came down (you know Noelles's husband and son) and young Pete wanted to see about this hunting and visit with Spencer and Michael. It wasn't long until Michael had him out in a stand and he managed to get his first deer!
Michael Howell doesn't understand all this deer hunting stuff. It seems way too easy for him. Come in on Friday at noon, take a nap till 3, get up, walk out whistling all the way to your stand, stay there 45 minutes, big 10 point buck walks out in front of you and starts grazing, blast deer, whistle all the way back to camp. Nothing to it.
It's Christmas and deer season has been a living hell for me this year. I can't kill a deer much less see one at the famous invisible deer farm known as the Christmas Place.
I am on my way to the camp when I receive a text "Jus shot a big 8-point". Damn! Don't these people have jobs? When I get there the nice buck is on the pole and it just gets worse as the weekend progresses.
After the glove fiasco at the Spike Camp field, Paul was devastated, he was crushed, embarrassed, humiliated and he had that sick feeling in his stomach you get after listening to Mark Stewart drone on and on about killing a hog. He moped around and worried about what happened for awhile and then he got MAD, fighting mad. The first thing he did was go out and buy some new gloves and then he started plotting his revenge.
Dean Lammey killed this magnificent buck at Thanksgiving. Only proving that he must be adopted because it is a well known fact that no Lammey can kill a deer much less one this big! Lammeys came out of the woodwork when they heard about this deer. They took pictures, photobombed Facebook, called the New York Times and bothered the hell out of me. Then they took that varmint, cooked him and about a 1000 of them ate the poor thing. I think they even ate the antlers. I think Davin got a drumstick.