Thursday, December 22, 2016

A White-Eyed Panic

I totally understand. My brother, Satan (Paul), had been deluged with bucks all weekend. Trent and I had already taken big bucks and Paul was in a fever to get his. A deer would jump out. Too small, Another one would run by, How many horns did that SOB have? Back and forth for too days until Paul was completely white-eyed and feverish. He was talking to himself and bitching that the big ones were all dead. Trent and I laughed and laughed and laughed. Needless to say we did not rub salt in his wounds. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Finally, he could take it no more. A buck ran out, a 6 point, another one strolled by, too small. He had the safety off, sweating in the sub zero temperature. A deer ran by, Wait, He saw 5 points on one side. BOOM, BOOM!!! The deer went down.
Being the nice brother I am, I went to help him drag it out. I picked it up, slung it over my shoulder and carried it to the 4 wheeler, It was a little on the small side.
Good News, the people at Bass Pro said it was a world record as the smallest buck they had ever been asked to score. It only missed Boone and Crockett by 100 points.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

The Voyage of the Wayward Whitetail

"Avast ye Lubbers, and harken to my tale of derring and bravery in a terrifying land of monsters and big bucks.
The Wayward Whitetail weighed anchor and sailed before the dawn through perilous shoals, and whirlpools guided by my intricate knowledge of the oceans and one candle. With one hand on the tiller and the other with a mug of Rum, I headed across an ocean of Typhoons, Hungry Water Gators,
and Piranha Carp to a terrifying land of Cyclops, Monsters and Giant Horned Bucks.
In a mighty battle with the Sinister Buck of Paul, I slew the beast using my wits, my trusty .270 Ruger and some nifty ninja moves I learned on the Internet. The beast is dead,  and I will return  for the King of the Monster Bucks once I give the evil Sorcerer, Paul the Pitiless, an autographed picture of my deer for Christmas.
The big 8 point weighed in at 210 lbs. with a 17 3/4 inch spread. Another great trip up the lake at the famous Christmas Place!

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Good News For Water Valley

Maybe better, Great news for the citizens of Water Valley as they can now all rest peacefully in their beds at night. The news is that Judge Howell has finally killed a deer. This means that court will not be cancelled all winter again, it means that the criminals lurking in the dark will actually be locked up, and foreclosures on little old ladies with cats will decrease immensely. Thank God!!!
Trent shot this really nice buck near the Beaver Dam at the famous Christmas Place last Sunday morning. A 9-point weighing 200 lbs. Congratulations, Trent!
The down side is that now I will be expected to pay my rent all winter.

Friday, December 09, 2016

Selfies With Thunderhoof

That damn deer pesters me every time I go hunting, so I have decided to take a few selfies with him while I am out hunting this weekend. I just wish I could get his pic on the hanging pole or at least keep him from running all the deer off while I'm out there.. Stupid deer will not leave me alone.

Monday, December 05, 2016

The Big Bang

Deer season this year has been slow, and this past weekend was rain, rain and more rain. No one expected to do any good but gamely we went after the deer. The weather was so bad that just being huddled into a stand was all we could expect to survive, much less kill a big buck.
At 7 AM a BIG BANG rolled across the property and everyone knew exactly where it came from.
The infamous deer killer, Paul Howell, had struck again.
As the morning passed, more and more of the hunters straggled in wet to the bone, but no Paul.
Finally, he came in to camp. Wet, wild haired, wild eyed, exhausted and totally devastated he staggered into the camp house and told his story.
The big 10 pt was crossing in front of him about 80 yards through the woods and it was a last minute shot. Paul said he never got a good rest, and pulled the trigger anyway. He found a few drops of blood but the angry deer snorted at him when he went to go find the trophy and galloped off into parts unknown. Paul spent hours searching but no luck. Looks like that deer escaped the wrath of Paul to live another day.

Monday, November 28, 2016

Hog Eyes

I have seen it before and can now spot it a mile away. The haunted look, shaky hands, drool on the lips, low grunting and moaning and the eyes, yes, wild staring Hog Eyes. Yep, my brother James had HOG FEVER and my friend Phillip at The Hog Blog would have been proud. Mark Stewart stays that way all the time so it is easy to spot. SOB hates a damn hog and James is right in there with him.
I put him at the Beaverdam to hunt deer but he wanted to be close to the swamp in case he heard a hog. He did and snuck to the bottom of the hill eased into the brush and tried his newest contraption. Phillip would be so proud! A new game caller that works through your phone. He turned on the Hog Social Grunt call and a minute later he could see the cane parting as the big hog headed straight at him. At 10 yards it entered the tiny opening and he cut down on it with buckshot between the eyes!
The big hog weighed 230 lbs. A really big one. Congratulations James!

Monday, November 21, 2016

That's A Big Fat Zero!

Deer season with rifles opened this past weekend and the members at the famous Christmas Place notched a big fat Zero for the opening weekend. Paul said "It's Trent's fault for not getting the fields done in time." Trent said "It's Paul's fault for running the deer off with all his pals galloping around the woods last weekend." I said "Shoot me now"

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Muzzle-Loader Success

The season started with a bang, or a boom as the members and guests at the famous Christmas Place started the year off right by taking 7 deer this past weekend.  We also put our best man (James Howell) in charge of eradicating the hog population but that went nowhere. No one at the camp minded since they were still drunk from watching the great Ole Miss-Texas A&M game.
final score Camp 7- OM-29 TAMU-28

Friday, November 11, 2016

2016- And So It Begins

The first weekend of the hunting season with muzzleloaders starts this weekend and everyone is headed to the famous Christmas Place as early as they can today. It has been quiet there and the deer we have seen are few and far between. No one has any idea what this season will bring. Our fields have suffered under a drought but recent rains should help revive them but it is a crap shoot this early. No matter, I promise we will all have a good time.

Monday, October 31, 2016

Lost In The Witch Cane

There is a wide ridge in the middle of our property thickly covered with Witch Cane.  Sometimes called Cane, Bamboo, Switch Cane, Owl Cane, etc. but down here they call it Witch Cane. However  you call it, through the middle of this cane thicket is a narrow track made by loggers 70-80 years ago that you can barely see, but if you follow it and get through to the other side, there is a little hidden valley that I discovered was filled with big buck sign. So yes, I took my climber in there after lunch and worked my way as quietly as I could through the thick cane, having to turn sideways and almost on my knee some of the way, but I made it through and set up my stand in a nice hickory tree and waited. That afternoon was bright and sunny and I saw deer after deer but not the big buck I wanted and after a great hunt, I got down out of my stand after dark and headed back.  I found my flashlight and turned it on. Now flashlights are not my specialty and they are supposed to work when you need them and worrying about batteries is not something you think about until you need them.  I turned it on and a feeble yellow glow was all the light I had.  I headed up into the Witch Cane.
I don’t know when I got off the trail but it was pretty quick, all I could see was the faint glow around me and the thick cane. The mistake I made was cutting back and forth trying to find the trail, and suddenly I was completely turned around. I’m carrying the climber on my back, sweating and a little panicky and I decided a straight line was best. I had to come out somewhere. The cane got thicker and thicker as I pushed my way through and suddenly I fell out into a small opening about 5 feet around. I was holding the small flashlight in my mouth so I could use my hands to fight my way, so I fell  almost to the ground and the dim light caught something right below me. Half covered in leaves and dirt was a broken tombstone. Everything went quiet like in a horror movie, and the moon suddenly rose giving a faint light. I brushed the dirt away in the dim light and could make out some faint writing inscribed. I brushed away more, then scraped the moss away with my knife. I could see the word in capital letters on the grave marker. W-I-T-C-H . Witch! I froze, but my mind was screaming at me to run, to get away. I stood up listening. No sound, no wind, nothing. It was deathly quiet.

Then a soft breeze touched the top of the cane, or maybe they moved themselves as it seemed a slight whisper went through them, a muttering stretching out as far as I could hear through the tops of the cane, then I heard it louder coming back, and a slight fog seemed to slowly start forming over the grave.

Unlike the horror movies, I did not wait any longer. I took off wide open, leaving my climber behind. I did not let up until I broke through the can a few hundred yards from my truck. I caught a breath, changed gears and made it to the truck in record time.

If you are looking for a great used climber, I can tell you where to get one free of charge, I’m sure it’s right where I left it.

Friday, October 28, 2016

Where's My Dog?

Gracie has been missing a week and Camo and I can't find that dog anywhere. She is a roamer and hasn't got a collar, but is as gentle and sweet a dog as I've ever seen.  Pit Bull.Lame in left rear leg from getting whacked by a car. If you see her please call me 662-473-7996.

Monday, October 24, 2016

No Squirrels For You

The squirrel hunt was a disaster. I should have known when I realized that Paul was in charge. The total killed was just enough for squirrel and dumplings. No one got the limit. The weather was pleasant but dry so we think the squirrels were all on vacation at the beach. Paul should know better that to organize a hunt during their vacation time.

Wednesday, September 07, 2016

Careful, Careful !

Went to camp a week ago just to cut grass around the camp. Trent cuts a big swath through the front yard on the tractor and Burney sees something about 2 inches from the cut. A newborn fawn! In the front yard! Needless to say they did not cut near the baby deer but kept a close watch on it hoping the Mama would show up soon. Paul did make some noise about how it would taste like chicken until we sent him off to check stands. That evening the deer was still there but the next morning the Mom had come and they were gone.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Waiting For Global Cooling

Ready for winter, too bad the rest of you will freeze your fannies off.

Tuesday, August 09, 2016

Erin the Queen turns 19

August 6th is the date that the Queen bee turned 19. Happy Birthday Erin!

Monday, August 08, 2016

Carnival Update for 2016

Unfortunately I got side-tracked from Live Blogging the Carnival when the Swedish Bikini Team showed up and a Watermelon Fight broke out
. I am not going to elaborate.
At noon they had the weigh-in of the largest Watermelon. The expected winner at 617 lbs. was disqualified after Carnival officials agreed after much testing and repeated tastings that it was a rock painted green.
The winner was 198.4 lbs. shown here.

Friday, August 05, 2016

Live Blogging Watermelon Carnival 2016

Once again the Bodock Times will be live Blogging the famous Watermelon Carnival of 2016, deep in the heart of the South, in Water Valley, MS.
The action is swift this morning as vendors rush to their sites to set up for the trampling herds of people expected to show up early to kick off the start of the Festival.
In front of my office at 109 NORTH COURT St a huge semi filled with watermelons has crashed into another 18 wheeler full of wild Russian hogs . The hogs are loose and eating the watermelons and chasing vendors and little old ladies around the park. Here come the Police in full riot gear. Trent and Paul are running around the park in front of the hogs handing out their business cards! Some old lady is whacking a hog with her purse! RUN FOR YOUR IVES! It is a grand and exciting day here in Water Valley. Come join the fun!!

Tuesday, August 02, 2016

Carnival Week- Finally

This week kicks of the Watermelon Carnival 2016 and to top it off the infamous Class of 1976 is having it's 40th year Reunion. Should be interesting as it has been a Long, Hot, Summer and I need to get past it and into the some deer news as soon as possible.
This week there will be plenty of Pre-Carnival activities to enjoy
1. Zika Run Challenge. The bug trucks will be in action this week rolling through town shooting out a mixture of smoke and DDT just like in the old days when we used to chase the truck as it rolled through our neighborhoods. The object is to chase it until you collapse. Last person standing wins. The bright side is you will not get the Zika virus.
2. Watermelon Stealing Workshop- This late night event usually has kids from 14-20 interested in breaking a few laws, having fun, being scared and stealing watermelons from our local producers. All contestants will wear dark clothing, carry bail money, and have insurance in case they get a rear end full of rock salt. Winner does not get caught and go to jail and have their Dad tear their butts up in front of the Sheriff.
3. Paul Howell Look Alike Contest- A Satanic look is what's required. Dress in your favorite Devil costume. The scarier you look the better. Prize is a $100 dollars (from Paul's cold clinging hands)
4. Get out of Jail Free Drawing. Tickets are 1.00 dollar. This prize will get you out of jail all winter as the Judge (Trent Howell) will be deer hunting and doesn't want any interruptions.

Friday, July 08, 2016

The Howell Open 2016

It was a scorcher as the Howell clan and friends gathered at the Water Valley Country Club for the 2016 Howell Open honoring Hershel and Jimmy Howell.
It was set up in teams for a 4 man scramble with Bebo in charge (who usually stacks his team), but this year they LET Betty Bullion win (again), her husband John played like a dog on another team which might have helped. My team came in second, and I know Paul cheated us out of winning though I am not sure how. His team came in LAST. Next year Aunt Marilyn said she would take his place if he couldn't play any better than that. Here is the winning team with the new trophy.
Ellis, Tom, Betty, Mike

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Cora Howell Receives Scholarship

MSU junior receives national construction industry scholarship
Cora Howell (Photo by Russ Houston)

STARKVILLE, Miss.—A Mississippi State building construction science major is receiving major recognition from the construction industry’s leading organization.
Cora N. Howell of Greenway, Arkansas, is a 2016 selection for a $5,000 Associated General Contractors of America Education and Research Foundation Scholarship. A junior also pursuing a minor in philosophy, she is a student in the university’s Judy and Bobby Shackouls Honors College.
Virginia-based AGC represents more than 26,000 general and specialty contractors and service providers and suppliers throughout the U.S. For more, visit
In addition to studying at the university, Howell is an assistant superintendent with the Neshoba County-based W.G. Yates and Sons Construction Co. Currently, she is responsible for coordinating and overseeing subcontractors and crews completing two new residence halls on the north side of campus.
Howell began working in commercial construction at age 16. Over the years, she has developed a keen appreciation for the intricate and ever-changing nature of the building process.
“You’re always in the same general environment, but as the job evolves, the problems become more detailed and subtle,” she said. “The job site is never the same two days in a row, but that keeps it interesting because you learn about different systems, standards and requirements.”
Earlier this year, Howell also was awarded a $1,500 Brislin Inc. Annual Scholarship made possible by the longtime Columbus-based construction firm.
As she supports herself while pursuing the degree, Howell said she is grateful to have opportunities to explore both career and personal goals while at MSU.
“I always tell people that literature and the arts are my passions, but building construction science is my challenge,” she said. “It’s something I can always improve on, and all of my teachers at Mississippi State have been extremely helpful and contributed so much.”
Offered by the College of Architecture, Art and Design, Mississippi State’s building construction science academic curriculum is one of only two such studio-based programs in the country.
For more information about the college and its building construction science program, visit,, and Also, see

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

1st Work Weekend

My brother, Trent, (Lucifer) sent out letters for our first work weekend of the year and all the hard working members of the famous Christmas Place Hunting Club were there. This means Rex, Trent and Mark.
When I drove up to the camp I thought, "Look at that old abandoned house" then realized it was our camp house. We got busy cutting grass that was about 4 feet high and spent all Saturday just working around the camp to get it looking good.  Now it looks great, so my other brother, Paul, (Satan) can take his buddies up there to play golf or hog hunt.

Monday, May 02, 2016

The Red Wedding Season Begins

I have never seen so many weddings involving the cast of the famous Christmas Place Hunting Club and Honey Moon Resort. As you can imagine, it is a series of small disasters one after the other.
This past weekend Burney and Kathy headed to Gulf Shores to get married on the beach and at the same time Mark Stewart's son, Drew, was getting married in Memphis. We couldn't make the beach, but had to go to the Memphis shindig. Fortunately, we chose correctly
Now know this, every time we go or do something with my brother Satan (Paul) something goes screwy and our luck was typical as the wedding was great but circumstances (undisclosed) and Paul's big mouth,  made Paul, Wanda and I have to wear disguises to slip away from the raucous and enraged mob at the wedding reception. (again)
You may think we were dressed strangely, but I assure you that we fit in well with the strange eclectic crowd we had to escape.
Next week: Paul's, I mean Hillary's big wedding!

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Do You Remember?

Do you remember when my evil brother, Paul, single-handedly rallied the team and led the Ole Miss Rebels on to victory over those SOB's from LSU and took the Magnolia Bowl Trophy? And do you remember right after that when he came out of the stands with a brilliant game plan for our confused coaches and ended up diving over the top for a touchdown and a serious drubbing of Mississippi State to win the Egg Bowl Trophy? And do you remember how on New Years Day in New Orleans he ran amok in the backfield, made amazing one-handed catches put 42 Oklahoma State Cowboys in the hospital with his brutal tackling and just whipped the crap out of them to win the Sugar Bowl Trophy? Well neither do I, but here he is.

Wednesday, April 06, 2016

The Turkey Hunter Time forgot

Paul Howell, well known turkey murderer, blood-letting psychopath and worst of all, Lawyer, has been missing for the whole turkey season this year. He has been spotted numerous times in Water Valley hobnobbing with the Oxford socialites and drinking heavily.
What has changed for this famous blaster of innocent animals?
Right now (for once) it is not all about Paul. It is about his daughter Hillary getting married. Wanda, (his beloved wife and Saint) has taken the reins and brought him kicking and screaming into line to do everything he is supposed to do to make Hillary's wedding perfect.
This means no hunting until the wedding is over. It means wearing a suit and tie on weekends and going to showers, going to wedding parties, doing WEDDING SHOPPING, and in general not being a nuisance to Hillary, Wanda or the American population at large.
We do hope he makes it but the scars may last forever.

Thursday, March 03, 2016

Hog Camp 2016

As I tilted back another cold beer, I wondered why the hogs were not cooperating. No hogs were being seen, no one had even heard a hog. Where the hell were the hogs? As I pondered, a new thought crept into my mind and kept growing until it became clear.  I was surrounded by the WORST HOG HUNTERS EVER!
My God, those Minnesota guys idea of getting a hog was pulling them up through a hole in the ice. Our cook was drunk, and those Memphis guys eyes were so bloodshot they couldn't see. The guys from the coast came to play golf, and the rest of them were sleeping in. This is no way to run a railroad or a hog camp.
They finally managed to get 4 on Saturday night by creeping around in the dark with a night vision scope and wouldn't have done that if Erin had not been in charge of the bumbling stampede of misfits. Anyway Congratulations!

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

The Hog Cometh

Be prepared
This weekend is the treacherous and deadly hog hunt at the famous Christmas Place. Stay tuned for the blood and gore suffered by our relentless hunters. SAVE THE LAST BULLET FOR YOURSELF!

Monday, February 08, 2016

Familiarity Breeds A Bullet

The last weekend of deer season at the famous Christmas Place, Justin Rose brought in this 190lb. buck. This buck had been seen by several members during the season and Burney had even whistled a long range shot at it to no avail. This is Justin's first buck with us and a happy ending to his long season. CONGRATULATONS!

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Weekend With Burney

The deer season is finally winding down and this past weekend we headed to camp to give it the old college try to get a big buck and finish out the season.Me, Trent, Burney, and our old friend Bob Phillips and his son Greg. You remember Bob, you know Lazarus. Well, he was back from the dead but no, he did not get a deer. The weekend belonged to Burney.
He started out by arriving Friday afternoon and heading for the Levee Stand. Walking along he looked out across the field and 3 bucks were out there munching on grass and paying no attention to him, He puts the big stalk on them, gets close enough for a shot, rises up, Click! His gun does not fire, He ejects the bullet as the deer decide maybe they should be in a different county. Boom! The deer are gone and Burney is staring at one of those damn silver coated bullets you all have been buying. THEY ARE WORTHLESS. I don't know how many of those I have seen misfire.
He looks for the deer he shot at, no luck and heads to his stand. He gets in the stand and after a long two minutes, a herd of hogs comes racing at him. Boom, Boom! He gets one but is out of bullets. Another tip always carry six bullets. He finally gets the hog back after dark, but his rifle must have been still looking for action.
We had good hunts Saturday morning but no deer, and in the afternoon we headed out with Burney heading to the 72 acre field. After a long two minutes, a big buck moseyed out in front of him and this time he was actually able to hit it. Congratulation! No one else did anything on the weekend, but the last weekend is coming.

Monday, January 18, 2016

Satan Counts to Ten

Satan (Paul Howell) sat on his deer stand Sunday morning in the bitter cold waiting on a big buck to cross his path. He could hear deer all around him and knew he was just minutes away from blasting the deer of a lifetime. The sound of running hooves in the stillness, cracking limbs, the flash of white antlers! Yikes, there he was! How many points does he have? Satan ripped off his boots and frantically started counting his toes as he tried to hold his binoculars on the buck. Boy, his toes looked big through those binoculars. The horns looked big too!
The buck was moving down the hillside now and Paul tried to judge him. HE WAS GETTING AWAY! He aimed through the brush, his boot fell out of the stand , noisily distracting him, the rifle ROARED! Arrggghhh, dead tree 8 feet in front of him.
He bolted his rifle, the buck froze, Satan leaned over and put the X on him. BLAM!
He bolted from the stand and ran barefoot down the hill thinking about the huge deer awaiting him....
Not so fast my friend!
Yes, a nice young 10 point was at the bottom of the hill, not the giant monster buck he imagined.
He stood there a minute unbelieving.
his feet were getting cold.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Will Somebody Go To Work?

Jeez, am I the only one with a job around here? While I am busy keeping the wolves away from my door, everyone else is having a hell of a time deer hunting. Hey! There ought to be a law!
My cousins hunt everyday. Here is a pic of Austin with a nice buck taken this morning.
Tell that kid to get a job.

Monday, January 11, 2016

Marians' Christmas Place Adventure

This past weekend my friend, Marian, arrived at the famous Christmas Place rarin' to get after the deer. She had not shot a deer in 3 years, but she did work on her bucket list of getting a hog during that time. The weather was cold and windy, and not very suitable for deer hunting but she was game and we put her at her favorite spot, Arrowhead Field Saturday morning. No one had any luck that morning, the weather was just ugly and she did not see a deer.
That afternoon we decided to hunt together and headed for the Dove Field.
It was cold, the wind was howling and I was afraid Marian was going to freeze to death. I asked her several times if she wanted to go in but she said she wanted to get her deer no matter what.
Just at the last minute of daylight a nice size doe walked in the field at 85 yards. I asked her if she could hit her and through chattering teeth she said yes. I put my fingers in my ears. BOOM!
The deer reared, spun around and fell right there. A perfect shot!
It was a great night as everyone congratulated her and toasted her good luck.
She didn't get a hog this trip but says she will be back to get one soon..
Congratulations on a great hunt, my friend.

Tuesday, January 05, 2016

Sugar Bowl Survival

It was the Greatest Weekend Ever!
Denise and I rolled into Gulfport Thursday in time to watch the playoff games. We had drinks and a New Years Eve party, but everyone was concentrating on the Sugar Bowl. Denise and I, Paul and Wanda, James and Brock, Troy cone, Michael and his old roommate. ANTICIPATION!
Our day started at 5:30 with coffee and a shower and by 7 we were on the road to New Orleans.
First stop- Café du Monde. coffee and beignets.
It was really cold, but we wandered Jackson Square and even did the French Market. Denise got a cool hat before we made the number #1 stop at Pat O'Brian's . By then it was filling up with Ole Miss people and the Hurricanes were going quickly. we sang, we hollered, we cursed those damn LSU people unmercifully.
 It was great! We staggered out, and headed to the stadium 4 hours early. So did everyone else! There was a party rocking outside the stadium and we danced and greeted all the people with Hotty Toddy. there was a mad dash to get in and suddenly there we were on the 30 yard line as the game unfolded in front of us. Truth is, it was not even as close as the score. They beat those Cowboys like rented mules. Thunderhoof led the halftime show and of course you all saw Kelly and Treadwell ride out of the stadium on his back.It ended too quick and we headed toward Bourbon St. with the 48-20 WIN.
We ended up at Deuce McAllister's and so did about 1000 Ole Miss fans. We sang, we hollered, we cursed those damn LSU people some more. By the time I looked up again from staggering through the French Quarter it was 2:30AM, We headed home after the most fun you could have.