Friday, December 30, 2011

Blogging The Hunt

Marian and Bob came up last week and hunted with us. She got this nice doe at her favorite stand, Arrowhead.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Christmas Gifts

We made it through Christmas Day, but I wanted to let you know what I got my brothers for Christmas.
I got my evil brother (Paul) the usual, a new pitchfork. After a year, his is always bent and twisted from being held in his evil hands. He is at camp right now hunting. I am sure he has 3 or 4 deer hanging off his new pitchfork by now.
My other evil brother (Trent)got a new coin counter. His is worn out.
Pennies, nickels, dimes, whatever he can steal. Damn lawyers!

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Off To See Ebenezer

Spencer and I are off to see his Uncle Ebenezer (Trent)for Christmas dinner. I wonder how much it is going to cost? I am also wondering whether we are going to have to listen to those damn ghost of his rattling chains and moaning all through dinner.
Christmas movies and eggnog later.
Merry Christmas everyone!

Friday, December 23, 2011

It's A Weird Life

I had seen enough. bills, bills, bills covering me and Bobby and his pet squirrel had lost the deposit just as the auditors got here. I was doomed.
I drove out to the Yocona Bridge screamed "Good Bye Cruel World" and jumped in. Unfortunately the water was only two feet deep. It almost killed me!
When I came up an old fisherman pulled me in his boat, he looked a lot like GuyK and asked me what was the problem. I told him how hard it was and that I wished I had never been born. He said "You got your wish" just as he pulled in an 8 lb stripe. I crawled out on the bank, got in my car and drove back to Water Valley. The changes I saw were a nightmare.
My evil brother Paul was president of the United States which was horrible in itself. He had declared war on the Christmas Place in an effort to kill Thunderhoof once and for all.
Trent was the mayor of Water Valley, uh check that, Trentville. He controlled everything and taxed every hunter per inch of rack taken.
Dad was in jail for harboring a fugitive (Thunderhoof) and raising an illegal garden. Bobby was in the old folks home with Uncle Billy. Denise had moved away and was married to Brad Pitt. SOB! Camo was a famous star in Hollywood making movies "MissionDog Impossible" and was known as Cam Cruise. Burney was the editor of some magazine called PlayDeer. I was afraid to open it.
I ran down to my broken down Real Estate office. It was a casino. Trent's Gambling House. I ran to my house. Trent's B&B. Yikes! I drove out to the lake and met my mysterious fisherman. "Change me back" I cried. He said "Sorry, the fall really did kill you, welcome to Hell! I screamed and screamed until I woke up and found myself in my chair at that broken down miserable Real Estate office. Thank God and Merry Christmas to you all!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

A Fun Party

The party was a major success and no one was killed. We ate on the fine china and drank from crystal glasses (not jelly jars) and enjoyed a great night of friendship, fun, good food and conversation. Everything was relaxed and enjoyable. The house looked great and my butler dog acted very well. I thank all of you that came and hope to have another sometime in the next 40 years.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Looking For Santa

Camo is ready for Christmas! She spends a lot of time looking out the window and waiting for Santa and his reindeer. She loves Santa but hates a damn reindeer.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The Ball At Dagger Hall

Tonight is the big shindig that Denise and I have been working on for a month. I am completely broke so it should be a good one. All the Dukes and Duchesses of the Valley will be there. The Royal Dog (Camo) will be in attendance. This will be some party with glitzy furnishings, food that I can't pronounce much less eat, Hors de'vores of teeny tiny things on silver trays and enough liquor to float an army.
Intrigue? you got it. Spies, crooked lawyers and bankers, sultry women, nuclear scientists, academia, nouveau Rich billionaires, secret messages and international business deals.
There will probably be at least one murder before it is over.
Should be a hell of a party.

Monday, December 19, 2011

A Hog for Christmas

This past weekend the deer were running everywhere at the famous Christmas Place but our hunters (including me) could not get their sights on a big one to put on the hanging pole. My 85 year old father did not let this bother him as he headed to the GameWarden Stand and shot this 200lb. hog. I know I make a lot out of his age and hunting ability but how many 85 year old men do you know that are still actively hunting at all. This nasty jet black varmint came out at the end of the field and he downed it at 200 yards. Congratulations and Merry Christmas!

When Burney found out how much fun it was, he shot the damn things twin.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Satan Goes Click!

I don't know why bucks are attracted to him, what with the fire, smoke and smell of brimstone surrounding him, but they do. My evil brother (no, Paul)
likes to use his shiny new muzzle-loader and brags about how great it is.
Satan sat in his stand as bucks ran all around him. A big 10 point walked up to him (perfect) and he leveled his trusty muzzle-loader and pulled the trigger. CLICK!
Click? Oh crap! CLICK! The buck, surprised to be alive, staggered off. No amount of cursing or fiddling with the infernal gun would make it work. Later he called and asked what he should do. My advice was to take the damn thing and sling it as far out into the lake as he could and go buy a 45/70.
We will find out just how smart he is very soon.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The Moorehead Buck

fact or fiction that is a hell of a picture. Will let you know.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Burney Gets A Big buck

While I was up here shopping, doing yard work and practicing my needle-point, Burney was busy taking care of business at the famous Christmas Place. He shot this big 210 lb. 8-point at 1 o'clock in the afternoon. (SOB)
Burney has hunted extremely hard this year and it is a well deserved big buck. Now I am putting him on pig patrol. Congratulations Burney!

Friday, December 09, 2011

Nope, Not Going

Nope. I am not going to camp this weekend. I am not overly obsessed with deer hunting like my evil brothers. I have a lot of work, Christmas shopping and household chores to get out of the way. Plus I really need to take Denise out on the town.
I am tired of being around these people that just want to hunt all the time.
There are more important things in life than deer-hunting. I swear!

Thursday, December 08, 2011

The Working Deer Blues

I wake up in the morning
there's been a frost in the night.
As the sun comes up I'm dreaming
about bucks moving at first daylight.

I got the blues.
I got the working deer blues

The phone is always ringing
I won't answer it at all.
I know my buddies are calling
with the news of a big Swamp hog.

I got the blues.
Oh Lord, the working deer Blues.

Can't wait for the weekend to get here
then my boss begins to call.
hang up your rifle and get here
You ain't got no deer hunting time at all

no hunting for you!
I got the blues
I got the working deer blues
Oh shoot me!
I have the working deer Blues.

Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Snow Bucks

Woke up this morning to see snow falling and it has continued most of the morning. There is nothing more exciting than seeing a big old buck creeping around in the snow. Unfortunately the snow is not going to stick enough to stay but it has been fun to see.
The Christmas Place is absolutely beautiful when it is covered in snow, especially when the rut is on and the bucks are moving.

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Rockin Around The Christmas Place

Rocking around the Christmas tree at the Christmas party hunt
Mossy horns hung where you can see, every hunter tries to grunt
Rocking around the Christmas Place let the Christmas bullets ring
Later we'll have some pumpkin pie and we'll do some caroling

You will get a sentimental feeling when you hear
Voices singing let's be jolly blast those bucks unil they’re sorry
Rocking around the Christmas Place have a happy holiday
Everyone hunting merrily in the new old-fashioned way

You will get a sentimental feeling when you hear
Voices singing let's be jolly blast those bucks unil they’re sorry
Rocking around the Christmas Place have a happy holiday
Everyone hunting merrily in the new old-fashioned way

Monday, December 05, 2011

Pressure Relief

Everyone poured into camp on Friday to hunt that afternoon and before you could say "Where Did Satan go?" gunfire erupted over the hill.
Paul had us go help him drag in this fine 8-point from some ungodly canyon that night. He spent the rest of the night drinking, bragging, crowing and giving us hell. For most of us, it looked like another long season starting.
I went to my stand with a heavy heart and saw nothing the next morning and decided to give the old college try to my stand up the lake. This pretty nine point came in chasing a doe and I got him in the boat and back to camp way before dark. Now the pressure is off.
Burney got a hog later and that was that. So the pressure is off Trent, Paul and myself. I don't know if I will get another buck but I am about to get after some damn hogs.

Friday, December 02, 2011

Weekend Deercast

Yes, it is supposed to rain but that's not what I am really talking about. Over on my stand it should be barren, cold, lonely with no deer and no sign that one has ever been there. At Paul's stand the deer will be running hot, grunting, jumping, chasing does and doing everything in their power to get in his sights. I feel a 14 pointer coming his way. Trent got a 13, you know a 14 will head toward Paul as quick as it can. The rich get richer. Meanwhile Burney is hunting hard at the Spike Camp, don't bet on him killing a damn thing. The Mailrider is supposed to be there and he has hogs on his mind. He's a hog hunting fool. Maybe that's what I should do. Spencer is finally getting into it and will be here tonight. A doe master if there ever was one. Will post pics of all the action and my dog of course.

Thursday, December 01, 2011

The Rut is On !!!!!

No, I am not talking about Spencer and Michael's problems. I am talking deer hunting. The weather has been at 28 degrees and sunny the last couple of mornings with a light frost. Perfect weather for those nasty bucks to chase does all over the place. We are leaving tomorrow for the muzzle load season for bucks. It should be very interesting and fun.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

DeanO Does DeerO

Welcome our newest link DeanO. He blogs about life, religion, deer hunting and friends. He thinks he is getting too old to hunt but keeps at it. He has wonderful stories to share, cost-cutting advice, some political mish mash and writes a really good blog. Go over and visit him.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

A Very Close Thanksgiving

Paul and Michael eating first of course
Dad with my daughters, Erin and Sarah
Wanda and Denise getting the desserts ready
Erin with your friendly neighborhood blogger
the girls, Michael and Trent almost ready for some pecan pie!

Monday, November 28, 2011

How Was It You Ask? Don't

How was it? Not so good. There were some bright spots of course but overall not our best hunt even though the Thanksgiving meal and fellowship was good right up 'till it started raining. It started well as Austin got a doe and Paul got a hog! Then Spencer got a big doe for his first deer of the season.
Then things started to unravel.
Paul shot at a giant buck at 50 yards and MISSED. Yes, I know he sold his soul to the devil for antlers, so this was the most unusual thing I have ever witnessed. We are going to mount the tree limb he shot so all is not lost. I shot a hog, it got away. Michael shot a hog, it got away. Spencer shot a hog, it got away. Where the hell is Phillip?
The Thanksgiving meal was great and I will post pics tomorrow.
Then it started to rain and we were cooped up in the camphouse listening to it pour. The septic tank backed up. You don't want to know. It kept raining and raining. Trent managed a hog in the drizzle on Sunday morning.
Too bad about Paul, you know how humble he is about his shooting ability.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Thanksgiving At Deer Camp

Each year we celebrate Thanksgiving at camp. It is crowded and there is little privacy but we get 4 days of hunting in and get to be with our family. I am leaving this afternoon (probably too late to hunt) and will be there through the weekend. I think there is a big buck down there with my name on it. Hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Another Geat Hunt

While Trent was shooting the little deer in the post below, my friend Jeffrey Hollis was doing something important. He managed to blast this big hog over on the River while hunting on the opening weekend. This 200 pounder would make the Mailrider jealous.

Monday, November 21, 2011

One Really Fine Deer

This was the first weekend of gun season and Trent started the year off right when he took this really fine 13 point buck. The big deer weighed in at 210 pounds with an 18 inch spread. Looks like the bar is going to be at an all time high. Congratulations!!!!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Hell Hath Froze Over

For the first time in recorded history, the Bloody Baron (aka Paul Howell), yes that minion of evil, is not expected at camp for opening day. Why? Hell if I know. The excuse he gave was something about going to the ballgame. This is the same guy that moves to the camp in November and stays 'till March. He has never missed a day of deer season, much less opening day. When there is killin' to be done, he's your man. I sent him an email asking him what was up with that and he sent me this picture.
(methinks he is in deep do-do)
HEY! That means his stand is open!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Where to Hunt???????

I swear I have no idea. Should I go up the lake or just go to one of the fields? Paul and Trent have been scouting and looking for months but some people have to work. I have three days to figure it out. Maybe I will do something totally unexpected. Either way DEER SEASON STARTS SATURDAY!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The 600 Pound Doe

I was hunting the Arrowhead field this past weekend during our muzzle-load doe season. At 7:00 AM three does came out in front of me easing across the field and heading for the edge of the hollow below me. I shot and the doe reared, turned, took two leaps and was gone. I could not believe that it did not fall in its tracks. Then I prayed that it did not make the edge of the hill. I got down and eased over to the edge of the field and followed the blood trail. Twenty feet into the woods I saw where the deer had made the edge of the deep ravine in front of me and I could see the deer at the very bottom. OMG! It was straight down 200 feet. It was in the deepest, steepest canyon on the whole property! I worked my way down and checked the deer. It weighed about 100 lbs. I started taking off gear, grabbed the deer and started pulling. Almost an hour later I got to the top of the hill with the 600 pound monster doe just before I had a heart attack.
Trust me that if you shoot a deer here, the last thing you want is for it to fall into one of our deep canyons.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Early Doe Season Results

Our early muzzle-loader opener went very well this past weekend. Your friendly neighborhood blogger (moi') took one doe an a gray-back hog. My little cousin Katie was with me and we had an exciting hunt. Austin got a deer! (miracle) and a young man named Justin Rose got his first deer. Dean Lammey had his usual results (0) and Oh yeah, Old Blind Jones managed to miss another deer.
Saturday night after a successful hunt
Me and Jonesy with my Porkulus Phillipius

Justin bloodied for his first deer

Friday, November 11, 2011

Old Blind Jones

Mr. Jones is going to deer camp with me today. It has been awhile since he has killed a deer but he has high hopes. I am worried since he is blind as a bat. He says his glasses are broken (he won't get them fixed), says he can see through his scope (???), and says he is a great shot (haha) If I can get a deer within 10 feet of him he might have a chance. PS hope a hog doesn't get him when he is blindly traipsing through the woods and thinks it's a really big squirrel coming toward him.

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Someone Knows What to Do

Burney got this nice doe last weekend, it's his 2nd deer already.

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

A Trap For The Masked Armadillo

Usually at the time of year a mysterious hunter appears while we are working and traips through the middle of us and goes hunting. Not this year.
A clever trap laid by Dad finally caught the Masked Armadillo before he could get to the woods on his 4-wheeler. Minutes later he was shoveling with the rest of us in a project of busy work that dad had decided on. When we finished he tried to get away again but hauling brush was the next priority and Dad threw him right in the middle of it. I guess justice does exist, even with the Masked Armadillo.

Friday, November 04, 2011

The Last Youth Hunt

I hope that it is not the last youth hunt but all my children are past the age of 15 except for Erin. This will be her last youth hunt. She is just about grown now. Here is a pic from her recent prom. Erin is on the left.
On the bright side, we are about to blast the hell out of some deer and hogs!

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Off To The Range

This morning Greg, Mark and I are heading out to Greg's property to shoot our rifles. I need to get the dirt dobbers out of my barrel and see if I can hit the side of a barn before deer season starts, and those two guys need all the practice they can get. Will let you know the results later.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Ghost At Work

I don't even know why I go to work on Halloween. Every year those damn ghost get to swooping around my office until I can't get any work done. They hide my pens, disrupt the internet and my computer, phones won't work, and they try to scare the hell out of anyone that comes in my office.
I'll try to stay in this creepy old office as long as I can, but I assure you that I will be gone from here way before dark. It really gets scary then.

Friday, October 28, 2011

The Bell Of The Tchula Lady

It was the hottest part of August when the weird idea to go frog gigging over on the River struck us. I asked Paul Jones what he knew about the frogging over in that area and he told me that it should be good. He had not seen any vehicles with boats over at the landing at night in almost a month. He figured we could catch about as many as we wanted. Paul, Burney and I started planning right then but Paul Jones interrupted us with one of his cryptic final statements. “The River has been channeled but down about two miles there is a double bow where you follow the old River for about half a mile. When you get to it, you can see it is marked on the side by a mile marker, #27. If I was you, I would get in the middle and drift down past the last bow and don’t try to catch any frogs ‘till then.” We stared at him. He didn’t say anything else. Paul Jones has a habit of knowing way to much about the history of this place but when pressed he said “maybe nothing, but do what I say and there won’t be no trouble” That’s all we could get out of him.
A week later we were ready. We had boats, we had coolers, we had lights, we had beer, we had everything we needed. We even picked up a couple of stragglers in Mark Stewart, Mark Rose, Stewart Allen and Terry Cutrere. Two boats to cover the River with me driving one and Burney the other. We planned about a 10 mile drift and then to come back up to catch what we missed on the way down.
Catching frogs is not done with a gig. One man sits in the front usually wearing heavy gloves, 2nd man in the middle holds the light, and the 3rd man drives the boat. You shine their eyes and blind them, pull the boat in tight and grab them. Simple as pie.
The night was black as pitch as we headed downriver floating and talking until we started seeing a few frogs and then split up to cover each side of the river. We caught some, put ‘em in the cooler, missed a few but everyone had a shot at it and we drank beer and enjoyed the night. Before we had gone 1/2 mile the fog rolled in on us and it started getting quiet. Mark Rose in the other boat shined his light high on the bank and we could just make out marker #27 and we floated into the first bend.
You could tell it was the old river as tall timber overhang this part and we let the current pull us forward. The water was low but the river narrowed here. It was spooky but it seemed like frogs were everywhere. We split up and started getting them. We had caught 10 before a frantic bobbing of the lights caught our attention and we eased the motor until we crossed over and found Burney holding a snag waiting for us in his boat.
Both boats shined their light at a mass of old timbers jutting from the bank. The huge timbers were covered by big frogs and I started to tell Burney they could get in to them but he said “Listen” and we all quieted down. It was still in the swirling fog with just the slapping of the water on the boats but You could hear it low and slow, the chiming of a bell coming from the old wreck in front of us. As we listened it quickly got louder. The frogs in front of us escaped into the water as we realized that the sound was coming from the old pile-up. Shining the light we spotted an old marker at the top of the bank. It read The Tchula Lady.
As the noise grew louder a shrill shriek seemed to echo in it that hurt our ears, the blood curdling sound seemed to reach into your soul and it seemed like the fog seemed to swirl in amongst the timbers until it looked like people were moving there. We quickly backed into the middle of the River. I almost had to fight Cutrere to get control of the motor after Paul grabbed his leg to tell him to turn the light downstream and almost caused the whole group to panic and sink the boat. We all took off downriver until the noise faded behind us. Not much frogging was done after that and later when we came back up the river it was done at full throttle hugging the opposite side of the River.
Paul Jones had built a fire on the bank and was waiting for us when we got back to the landing. We tried to tell him about what happened but he already knew. He told us the tale then. “The Tchula Lady was a paddle-wheeler that ran mostly from The Misissippi, up to Yazoo City and then to Tchula carrying supplies and people. During the Civil war it carried soldiers and was ambushed in that bow below Parkers Landing by Union cavalry with cannons and sank with all hands. It caught in a snag at the bend of the River and everyone that made a swim to the bank was shot. No one survived. The ship burned right there and the old timbers in the bank are all that’s left of it. The story is that it is still trying to make the run up river and the ghost don't want to be disturbed. I have heard that the sound of the bell will burst your eardrums or make you lose your mind if you stay and listen too long.” That was the end of our frog hunting expeditions on that River.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Katies' Big Day

My cousin, Katie, is getting married this weekend. Yes, I know that no one in their right mind gets married during the fall or winter, but love can make you blind and I don't think her new husband is a hunter.
Katie is the daughter of my cousin, Kent (a reformed duck hunter) and he and his wife Marijean are planning on a hoedown that Oxford has never seen before. I have been warned that no one will be allowed to wear camo, hip boots, waders, or any hunting gear at all.
The women are all up in the air about this so I guess the deer will have to wait another week.
(and yes, any wedding at Halloween is scary.)

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Secret Spot

Why are all the members at the famous Christmas Place creeping around scouting for big deer sign? The reason is that they are all looking for the Secret Spot. This is a secret place nestled in an obscure place that no one knows about except them. This place is where the very biggest bucks make their home and where a huge trophy can be taken if they can just find it. Just hunting there is where all the action is as a parade of bucks wander by as you wait for that giant (Thunderhoof?) to make his appearance.
Don't worry, I'm looking too.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Laid By

All of our fields are officially laid by for the winter. (thank god)They are all planted and taken care of and those damn deer better appreciate them. Bucks are starting to move and are leaving their sign in the woods for us to get excited about. Lots of hooks were seen as we went over the property this weekend. The peanuts are gone but there are plenty left on the ground that should attract deer and hogs as it gets colder. Looks like a great year is just about to begin.

Thursday, October 20, 2011


It is time for the 99% of members to occupy the famous Christmas Place! We are tired of the rich members shooting all the big deer, getting the best stands, and drinking the best whiskey. It is time to unite against this sacrilege and take over the Christmas Place until we kill a giant deer too!
Bring your long johns, a sleeping bag, your hippie beads and bongs and head down to the Delta to make these evil plantation owners do the right thing and give us all their stuff. (I could use Paul's new truck and his gold credit card) Unite! Women show your breast! Free Booze! We will make hunting great again after we get rid of those selfish, uncaring, criminal rich hunters! Hang them All! Give peace a chance!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The Sneekin' Peekin' Weekend

This is it. This is the weekend when almost everything is done and it is time to find out where that big old buck is hiding. Everyone will be scouting for that rascal this weekend and of course not telling the others what they saw or found. Gun season will be here before you know it and you have to make sure you are in a really good spot to get your big buck.
cool weather moved i this weekend which should make those bad old deers think about scraping and rubbing their antlers, so sign should be plentiful.
Will see you around the hanging pole!
PS- will have an article up soon about disfunctional hunting camps :)

Monday, October 17, 2011

Tree Rat City

The 2011 Squirrel camp was a success. At least 100 squirrels were taken this weekend by our hunters and everyone had a great time.
The weather was perfect and a lot of time was spent by everyone around the campfire. Lots of stories were told and lots of drinking was done as we shared some old fashioned camaraderie of the hunting camp.
A whole box of squirrels! We had the best squirrel and dumplings ever thanks to Roy Stevens.