Monday, June 17, 2013

Cutting Grass With Camo

After a month of hiring people to cut my grass that never showed up, I went out and bought a lawnmower. It is an unbelievable machine. It slices, it dices, it can tree a squirrel and mulch your underwear. The only thing it will not do is cut the grass without me pushing it. I filled it with gas, called Camo and pulled the crank. Camo was a big help but she sure as hell wasn't going to push the mower and the idea of me tying the mower to her so she could pull it went over like a lead balloon. Her help was kind of like my Dad's, a whole lot of supervision and advice. I quickly learned that one bark meant "you missed a spot" and 2 barks meant "You are an idiot" While I cut the grass that damn fool dog spent the afternoon barking at me like it had rabies. Anyway, the grass is finally cut, my poor tired evil dog is resting, and it may be another month before I cut it again.

Monday, June 10, 2013

The Blackberry Race

Two weeks if we can hold out. That is when the blackberries and wild plums on the famous Christmas Place will be ready. That's the good part. The bad part is that we may have to fight every deer, coon, possum and wild hog on the place to gather them, and that does not even include that no-good giant buck , Thunderhoof.  He is like a giant vacuum cleaner going through the woods sucking up blackberries when they are ripe.
Get your buckets ready cause this year the woods are full!