Wednesday, May 29, 2019

A Memorial Memorial Day

After spending years working my way up the food chain at the famous Christmas Place, I finally managed to actually have a Holiday there with my family, without my Evil brothers bothering me.
Denise and I, plus my daughter Sarah and her boyfriend Ryan headed into camp Friday for what turned out to be a really nice, fun weekend.
Hamburgers on the grill Friday, cut some grass Saturday morning and then went riding and exploring the property so that Ryan could see everything.
we took pictures at all the Indian mounds, saw a crocogator in the lake, explored trails, got stuck, looked for sheds, saw 2 snakes (thank God Denise did not see them), and really enjoyed the big hardwood forests on the property.
That night into Jackson for dinner at BabaLou's restaurant and crashed that night.
The next morning we cut a little more grass and then went and walked in the clear spring fed creek that wanders across the property. The water was very cold, but we waded looking for arrowheads and old bottles. Then Sarah and Ryan left for the coast and we headed home.
A super weekend.



Thursday, May 02, 2019

Water Valley Cannon Returns

The old cannon we used to play on as kids has been AWOL for several years now but at last has been returned to the little downtown park it has guarded for 70 years. The cannon has been refurbished, repainted and reworked to be a proud sentinel for Water Valley and a symbol for the faithful soldiers of the town that gave their all to defend us.
The cannon was dedicated around 1950 to be that symbol, but of course it was also in place to guard the railroad and keep those damn Oxford people at bay. You can also see that it is pointed North, just in case...........

Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Turkey Camp Success

Paul hosted a turkey camp last weekend at the famous Christmas Place and they saw quite a few turkeys, heard a lot of gobbling, caught a mess of fish, played golf, ate like kings, drank a lot of whiskey and even found time to actually shoot a big gobbler.
Andy Hall came down from Water Valley, worked his butt off cooking and helping out and also ended up with a well deserved 21 lb. gobbler with an 11-inch beard.
Congratulations Andy!!

Thursday, March 14, 2019

Josh Meets Captain Blood

Here is the pic of Josh, Capt. Blood and a fine hog taken off the back of the Indian Mound area.
As you can see, do well and someone wants their picture taken with you.
Congrats on a really nice one Josh!

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

A Great Hog Camp

The weather finally cooperated and we had great weather for the hog hunt, excepting rain Sunday morning. The food was great, the weather was great, the guest were great and it was easily the best Hog Camp ever.

Our Yankee friends shot some hogs, swapped stories with us and drank all the beer. Once again they were the best guests ever and a real joy to have come down from Minnesota every year.
Jay got this super nice one.

His buddy Joe got this one before they left to go back to the frozen tundra.
Josh got a hog too but no picture yet, too horrible to look at. Maybe it looked like Burney?
Will post if it ever arrives. Looking forward to next year and another round of The Game of Hogs.

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Hog Camp 2019

Hog Camp is this weekend and the hunters are loading up on armor piercing bullets, hand grenades, and mortars to take on the horrible swine that have invaded the delta.
Looks like many of the survivors of last years' camp are coming with blood in their eyes. This year the Minnesota killers are expected to be there too!
Hope we have a great camp with pleasant weather, hogs on the pole and a great fire outside to enjoy.
PS- Everyone make sure your will is up to date and names me the beneficiary.
Below is a typical picture of the size hogs the good hunters usually get.

Thursday, February 14, 2019

Thursday, January 31, 2019

An Unbelievable Buck

Yes, it's true. Paul Howell finally killed the big buck our whole camp has been trying to get for as long as I can remember. We were all so shook up that instead of envy that he expected, we all congratulated him and told him how proud we were of him. For once in his life he was actually humbled and for about three hours there he could hardly talk for the big grin on his face. WHAT A BUCK!! A massive and beautiful 10 point that WILL be gracing the living area of the Droptine Lodge.
After Paul wandered around for an hour or so shaking hands Over and Over again, I decided to finally get to the secret of how he managed to kill all these big deer. I grabbed a bottle of whiskey, led him off to a dark corner, had him tell his story (Over and Over again) and drink 'till he could not see, and then I bluntly asked him to tell me the true reason for his success.
I am going to give this information now to our good and faithful readers so you will know how to get a gigantic monster buck too and it is very simple and easy.
If you will go down to the Crossroads about Midnight on the darkest night, there is a (man) there next to a blackened stump with a feral grin that will ensure that you can get the big bucks too. All you have to do is sign your name at the bottom of the contract.

Monday, January 28, 2019

CAMO 1/25/2019- A Great Dog Has Left Us

Camo was raised as a circus dog and at an early age learned to walk the high wire, juggle, leap through flaming hoops, ride bareback, do flips, catch flaming arrows in his mouth and chase trespassers. She turned this down to come live with me and Denise and become best friends with Thunderhoof. She loved to go to camp. All you had to say was "Camp" or for me to pick up my rifle and bag and she was howling at the door ready to go.
She hated a big eared deer, a squirrel, wild hog, any big black bird (crow or buzzard), didn't like a chipmunk or rabbit and was not too fond of a grasshopper. She would kill a damn snake.
When she was young, she loved to run like the wind, but in later years she would ride in the buggy with us around the camp. Her best hunting trips were barking at deer through the windshield of my truck at deer as we rode around in my truck and growling at me to drive faster so she could grab one by the ears. She refused to do any of the tricks she knew, she was above all that, but she could bark, beg or sleep on command or not. She had us trained to get her treats with just one bark! 
Camo was the camp mascot and most of my best hunts were when she was at camp. When I got a big old deer she would race out to meet me and double check just to make sure the big horned varmint was dead. She loved almost everyone and was the smartest, most loving dog I have ever known.
At home she slept by Denise most nights, guarded our house against Big Foot, rhinoceroses, and burglars and was the child we didn't have. Also she was our best friend.
We buried her in the yard so we could look out and check on her occasionally, but I think she will spend her time sleeping by the fire and keeping an eye on us.
Denise and I are heart broken but have been truly blessed to have known such a noble companion and best friend. I really don't have the words to express how much I loved that  dog.


Tuesday, January 22, 2019

An Email From Captain Blood

These photos were supposedly taken Sunday at the famous Christmas Place and were emailed to me from someone named Captain Blood. There are no people in the photos and most of the camp members have already started screaming Fake News at the email, except from Smirking Paul Howell.
Supposedly this tiny 150 lb. deer had this large rack and was killed on the Spike Camp by the anonymous journalist/lawyer.
If you wish to respond to this prankster his email is
captainbloodpaulisgreat@yahyah.com


Friday, January 18, 2019

A Down Under Deer

Tricia Neagle got her firsr deer this past weekend. It was a very nice buck taken while hunting with The Flat Top Terror (Davin Lammey). She is from Australia and it goes to prove that since Davin killed a deer, the whole world has turned "Down Under" She is a very impressive woman.
She says it was a lot different from hunting a kangaroo, the deer was walking while a damn Roo just hops all over the place. Plus you usually just whack the kangaroo with a boomerang of course.  Congratulations to Tricia, a girl that seems to adjust to any challenge.
Someone ask her if I can at least borrow her boomerang.

Monday, January 14, 2019

Marian Gets Her Deer

It has been a while for Marian at the famous Christmas Place, but Marian finally got her deer. I took her to the Bird Point stand which she has never hunted. She hunted in a ground blind and the deer waltzed out in front of her late that afternoon. BLAM! The deer turned and basically jumped off a cliff into the deepest, darkest part of the property. Tim Crosby and I located the deer that night while Marian supervised from the edge of the cliff. I never want to go back down in that hole again, Poor Tim wanted me to shoot him.. She was happy as could be and the nice doe weighed 120 lbs. Another great weekend at the Christmas Place with Marian.
Rapelling classes start Feb 1st

Friday, January 11, 2019

Et Tu Davin

Davin Lammey killed a deer. This is a reason for much jubilation in the Lammey community as it was thought to be impossible. Never mind that he was drunk and asleep when the deer appeared and woke him up to commit suicide. He is now being called The Flat-Top Terror and woe to any deer that crosses his path. Congratulations Cousin!!!!
PS- This deer season is killing me and now my own cousin joins in.

Thursday, January 03, 2019

2019 Starts With A BOOM!!

Old White Beard (Paul Howell) started the New Year of 2019 off with a giant BOOM as he laid out this nice buck on New Years Day. This 210 lb. buck was taken at the Box Field where Paul has been hunting since August. About damn time. His wife and children celebrated because now they could finally have Christmas and open their presents.
Mr. Howell said "I love to kill a big deer and drive the members at the Christmas Place through the woods before me howling and screaming as I listen to the lamentations of their women"
PS- I am already tired of seeing this damn picture

Monday, December 31, 2018

WORST DEER HUNTING YEAR EVER.....

It is now December 31, New Years Eve and we have only one buck this year with our rifles. Trent and Paul have gone crazy and I am not feeling so good myself. This is turning into a very, very long deer season but hey! more rain is on the way.
Will let you know if we get a deer, or have to put my brothers in an insane asylum.

Monday, December 24, 2018

Paul On A Shelf

As you know, my evil brother Paul has not killed a deer this year. He has hunted almost everyday, but still no deer. He is at the panic stage, mumbling about his poor unfair treatment, how he has been put on the shelf by those unthoughtful people in charge of the holidays, how he has had to sacrifice the whole Christmas Season to his family, blubbering and sobbing to strangers on the street, and moaning like Jacob Marley's ghost. He is pitiful. HAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!
I talked to him this morning and he has a new plan to get his deer.

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Screams From the Christmas Place

Saturday morning I was sitting on my stand at Turkey Feather watching and waiting when the loud sound of a gunshot rolled over me from Odom Ridge. It suddenly grew deathly quiet and then I heard an anguished scream off to my left, a second later another faint, terror stricken scream came from way in front of me. I knew my two brothers had realized that Burney had gotten his buck.
I waited, half expecting to see Paul and Trent come loping through the woods with safeties off, guns leveled and looking behind every tree and bush on the place to get their buck.
By then the screams had turned to muffled sobs.
I finally headed in to camp about 10:30 and the big deer was next to the hanging pole waiting for everyone to see. A really fine 9-point that weighed 205 lbs.
Everyone congratulated them, even Paul and Trent through clenched teeth.
Congratulations to the leader in the clubhouse Burney Howell!

Tuesday, December 04, 2018

Thanksgiving At Camp

A little late but we enjoyed a very nice Thanksgiving at camp this year. Denise and I packed up our evil dogs Friday after a nice Thanksgiving day with her parents, and headed to camp. We hunted hard but no deer. Denise brought food, Wanda brought food, Erin, Michael, Haley and Alex showed up.
(Alex needs a little outdoorsy guidance) The ladies put together a super feast for everyone and we enjoyed everything except the ballgame that weekend.
It is nice to relax and just enjoy a good time together without anyone getting shot or stabbed.
Even the two with the biggest differences set it aside and enjoyed the weekend

Monday, November 12, 2018

The Return of the Doe Master

The doe season was this week and it was the first really cold snap of the season. A few of the hunters were still in archery mode for a big buck, while Mark Stewart (Doe Master) filled his tag with a nice 120 lb. doe. While others were running their mouth about how great a hunter they were and others were gnashing their teeth and mumbling about some six-point stewpot deer, Mark was hunting and as usual got his quarry. Regular Gun Season is this weekend so hang on.

Monday, November 05, 2018

Squirrel Camp Update

The post on our squirrel camp was interrupted by Halloween, but in the interest of all our hardcore readers I did want to give a brief summary of the action.
There were 64 squirrels taken,
2 deer
3 hogs
and a whole boatload of fish
The squirrel and dumplings was excellent! Thank you, Joe Newman.
No one got shot, no alligators were injured. BOO!,, and Burney got the hole in the roof fixed.
We spent a lot of time around the fire visiting with our friends and I want to thank them for continuing the Hershel Howell Memorial Squirrel Hunt.

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

MONSTER CAMP!

                            Paul                                                                                                     Rex

                                                 

                                                                    Spencer                                                                                               Terry                                 
                                             
        
                                                      Trent                                  Burney

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Big Buck Down

While I was in the Grove at Ole Miss, still pretending that football season wasn't over, Burney started texting me with the pictures of the buck he killed Saturday morning in the rain.
It was a big 6 point. Six point? Six point? What??
He said "Yeah, it weighed 280 lbs!" Ahhh, What?
"Yeah.... What? Yeah.... What?"
He sent pics, you decide
It was a damn big deer though.

Monday, October 08, 2018

Professor Blood Draws First Blood

Paul Howell (professor emeritus of Plasmetology aka Professor Blood) has managed to provide the first kill of the year at the famous Christmas Place with an incredible crossbow shot of 9 yards.
The poor deer never took another step as the good Professor unloaded on her.
His new book "1001 Uses for Deer Blood besides Drinking It" will be on sale at a mortuary near you this fall.

Friday, September 28, 2018

Deer Camp Agenda 09/28/18

Friday
1. 3:00pm-6:00pm work like hell planting fields
2. 6:00pm-7:00pm have drinks at the Droptine Lodge
3. 7:00pm dinner
4. 7:45pm another drink
5. 8:00pm Meeting of the Droptine Club- Wait. Am I still the only member?
6. 8:30pm Meeting of the 10 Point Club
Saturday
7. 5:00am-8:pm work like hell planting fields
8. 8:30pm find out if Paul found any good places to hunt while we were all working
9. 9:00pm dinner
10. 9:45pm a drink and blessed sleep

Tuesday, September 04, 2018

Battle Of New Orleans II

Thunderhoof dug out the deep trenches with his antlers and stood firm beside the Mississippians, Kentuckians, Free Black Louisiana Militia, and Indian soldiers and loudly said "Don't Shoot 'Till You See The Whites Of Their Brow Tines!"
In later years while General Jackson was running for President it was changed so that Jackson said "Don"T Shoot 'Till You See The Whites Of Their Eyes" and history was made again.

Monday, September 03, 2018

The Battle of New Orleans

This past weekend Denise and I visited New Orleans. We did a lot of things that we have not normally done. We went sailing! Ate and drank in out of the way places, Went to a Katrina exhibit and also went to an art exhibit. We also managed to visit the Battle of New Orleans Battlefield south of the city.
The battlefield is just below the 9th ward which still looks like a battlefield and is way off the beaten path. It is also very interesting and lays out very easy to understand how the battle played out. It should also be known how Thunderhoof helped General Jackson to defeat the British there.
The day before the Battle, Thunderhoof appeared and met with Gen Jackson to lay the trap, and trap it was. They deployed the troops in a narrow between the river and the swamp and forced the British to attack them across open land, (at night, in the winter)
Thunderhoof had the soldiers dig a 10 ft deep trench with the dirt used to build a huge fortification for the men to stay behind with cutouts for the cannons. To scale the side out was almost 20 ft.
Attacking British forces fell into the trench, could not get out and were slaughtered. Forces organizing in the field were cut to shreds from musket and cannon fire. It did not take long and the British withdrew and the war was over.
This monument was raised for out brave men and Thunderhoof of course.


Monday, August 20, 2018

Watermelon Fear

We were gathered on the porch of the Bailey Savings and Loan (Howell Realty) on Friday night of the Watermelon Carnial, enjoying the night and a smooth drink, when Paul and his golfing friends showed up to join us.
The night was perfect with thousands of people in the park and everyone having a great time and I was glad to see some old friends in Paul's group. Stuart Allen and Terry Cutrere.
The music at the Street Dance was heating up, the Tiki lamps around the office were lit and people were slowly heading over to visit when Stuart and Terry decided to go over and check out the street dance. I knew it was probably a mistake as I watched them go and then figured I had better go over and keep an eye on those helpless fools.

The music was rocking as Stuart and Terry walked right out in the middle of the dancers sipping their drinks and tapping their feet to the music. The were completely oblivious to the danger around them.
The girls from the Slaughterhouse crowded on side of the street, wearing their bloody white aprons over their dark green uniforms. Each had a butcher knife on a chain dangling from their waist and

was sipping from a Mason jar.
Across the street, the girls from the Sawmill, wearing overhauls, big black boots and also drinking moonshine glared across at the other side. Each of them had a big hammer and a long trim knife at their side.

It was a disaster in the making when Bertha Stone waddled over to Stuart, offered him a chaw of Tobacco and told him she wanted to dance. He graciously declined.
She grabbed him by the lapels with her sausage size fingers and said "I told you I want to dance" and laid her knife across his chest. Off they went. Terry stood there open mouthed a moment too long when Eloise Turdlow from the Slaughterhouse grabbed him and started to dance with a butcher knife laid on his shoulder. Several of them looked at me but I hid behind a little blue haired Grandma doing the Twist and managed to get away.

It was a race after that, the girls wanted to dance and Stuart and Terry could not escape. When one of the muscle bound Sawmill girls stopped, a big Slaughterhouse girl had her butcher knife out waiting to dance. Moonshine flowed as these girls glared at each other and stomped to the music. I left them to their fate.
Several hours later I saw them staggering over to my office. Drunk on moonshine, their clothes ripped and torn, bleeding in several places and a shell-shocked grimace of fear on their faces.

They disappeared soon after, I hope they had a good time.