Hog Apocalypse Starts Today

Minnesota Hog Bulletin

This is for the Minnesota hog hunters coming to the famous Christmas Place this weekend for our Annual Hog Camp. This is a simple list of what to do while you are here and what we are hunting.
 
 
 
 

 NO

No

 

Hell NO!!!!!!

 

 

 



Yes this is what a hog looks like. Please forward this to any Lammeys you come across also.



Studying Tracks

As our intrepid hunters enter the woods this year at the 2014 Hog Camp, I want to remind them that there are three very important tracks to look for in the woods and they need to know to differentiate them. the first is deer tracks

The second is what we want. Hog Tracks!







The third is Paul tracks. If you see these run for your life.

The Hogopotamus

It is Hog Week here at the famous Christmas Place and once again our tried and true scientific hunters are getting ready to search for the elusive man-eating Hogopotamus. This strange and rare beast is the deadliest predator on the Christmas Place and has been known to sink a boat full of fishermen with no survivors, shake off even the direct shots of Paul the Terrible, flatten ATV's and kill deer and humans with impunity. This beast must be dealt with. At an estimated 3000 lbs. by those lucky enough to survive an encounter and able to run like a deer and dive into water and disappear it is a fearsome creature that we have striven to kill every year. Lucky we have the hog man, Phillip of Texas, the most feared hog hunter in the world heading towards us as fast as he can. If he lives, I am sure it will be a great story. Here is a pic that the deceased photographer from National Geographic took just before his demise.

Art Bucko

You know, I have discovered that most of my hunting buddies have no understanding of art.  My evil brothers, Satan (Paul) and Beezlebub (Trent), could live in a room for 20 years and never hang a picture on the wall. Marks idea of art is a velvet painting of Hulk Hogan.
So a little Art Deco or in our case a little Art Bucko as this old sign was finally put on the wall in my office. It had languished in a closet for the last 15 years after we bought the famous Christmas Place, and was given to us by friends down there who got it when the State took it down 20 years ago.
Of course it points straight into Dad's office.

Valentine O'Mine

We had our annual Valentines Day dinner with Mark and Kim Stewart. Denise looked great as we cozied up to the bar to wait on our friends. Marks's son, Drew and his fiancée Amy joined us along with her parents. We drank, ate, talked, tried to embarrass Drew and had a very nice time. Hey, did you know that Sake goes straight to your head? It was nice to finally have a nice relaxed meal with friends. Did I mention that Denise looked great? She is my Valentine.

Happy Blogiversary!

I started this blog in February 2006 during another hard cold winter and have managed to keep it going for 8 years. A very long time in which I have recounted all of the absolutely TRUE stories that involve our family and friends at the famous Christmas Place. Ihope that you have enjoyed them and look forward to the weird and continuing sage of our dysfunctional hunting clan.

The Hog Assassin

In the deepest part of Texas the Hog Assassin moves through the brush tracking his quarry. Do not fear he always gets his prey. There's not a hog out there that can outsmart Phillip Loughlin the world acclaimed Hog Assassin. He's killed more hogs than Carter has liver pills. He's killed more hogs than my brother Satan (the one from the coast) has killed trophy bucks. He's killed more hogs than you can count on both hands and your feet, and he is coming to Mississippi for the Hog Aporkalypse on February 28th. Be ready because he is coming with fire in his eyes and his trusty rifle of death.
Now if I can just tie one to a stump for him to shoot we will all be happy!

The Aporkalypse

When the Aporkalypse hit, the members of the famous Christmas Place Plantation and Survivalist Club were trapped at our camp in the Mississippi Delta. All we had Whiskey, Cigars, Rifles and Bullets and the lonely working girls of Vaiden to help us survive. IT WAS GREAT!!!!!
We are still working on the hogs and plan to have our big hog hunt starting the weekend of February 28th. Be there for The Walking Hog Dead and Aporkalypse 2014.

GroundDeer Day

Sunday was GroundDeer Day at the famous Christmas Place Plantation. That is the day that all the big bucks come out of their holes after deer season. Dad was once again up on Rattlers Knob babying the damn things and feeding them with buckets of corn.
I don't even go up there anymore. Those deer are always grinning and smirking at me! To top it off that darn Thunderhoof is always there being petted and whispering to Dad. Then Dad always makes the announcement of when Crappie Spawning season starts. Looks like 6 more weeks.