Wednesday, April 06, 2016

The Turkey Hunter Time forgot

Paul Howell, well known turkey murderer, blood-letting psychopath and worst of all, Lawyer, has been missing for the whole turkey season this year. He has been spotted numerous times in Water Valley hobnobbing with the Oxford socialites and drinking heavily.
What has changed for this famous blaster of innocent animals?
Right now (for once) it is not all about Paul. It is about his daughter Hillary getting married. Wanda, (his beloved wife and Saint) has taken the reins and brought him kicking and screaming into line to do everything he is supposed to do to make Hillary's wedding perfect.
This means no hunting until the wedding is over. It means wearing a suit and tie on weekends and going to showers, going to wedding parties, doing WEDDING SHOPPING, and in general not being a nuisance to Hillary, Wanda or the American population at large.
We do hope he makes it but the scars may last forever.

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