The Voyage of the Wayward Whitetail

"Avast ye Lubbers, and harken to my tale of derring and bravery in a terrifying land of monsters and big bucks.
The Wayward Whitetail weighed anchor and sailed before the dawn through perilous shoals, and whirlpools guided by my intricate knowledge of the oceans and one candle. With one hand on the tiller and the other with a mug of Rum, I headed across an ocean of Typhoons, Hungry Water Gators,
and Piranha Carp to a terrifying land of Cyclops, Monsters and Giant Horned Bucks.
In a mighty battle with the Sinister Buck of Paul, I slew the beast using my wits, my trusty .270 Ruger and some nifty ninja moves I learned on the Internet. The beast is dead,  and I will return  for the King of the Monster Bucks once I give the evil Sorcerer, Paul the Pitiless, an autographed picture of my deer for Christmas.
The big 8 point weighed in at 210 lbs. with a 17 3/4 inch spread. Another great trip up the lake at the famous Christmas Place!