Everybody Got A Turkey (but Paul)

Turkey season is in full swing and everybody I know has already blasted a turkey but my poor brother Paul. (Boo Hoo, It's terrible.) People are walking up and down the streets with 25 lb. turkeys hanging across their backs. Little old ladies in the grocery store have a shotgun under one arm and a big turkey under the other. Turkeys are everywhere. I can't go to the mailbox without one trying to grab my mail. Can't play golf without a big gobbler trying to steal my ball. Water Valley has them wandering in and out of traffic and they have become a major nuisance. Even so, Everybody has killed a turkey. What's wrong with Paul?