Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Radiated Buck Shot Near Bridge

Chernobyl, MS> Paul Howell, famed deer hunter and luckiest person on the face of the earth, racked up another big buck this weekend at the Christmas Place Nuclear Research Institute. The deer walked into the middle of a 300 acre wheat field at dusk. Paul said “it was easy to see him, his horns seemed to glow”. The field was full of deer as Paul sat patiently on his bucket waiting for the buck to get within range. The deer wandered closer and closer and our hero drew down on the beast. That’s when he noticed the strange color of its’ hide, but then concentrated on it’s large antlers as it peacefully grazed 60 yards from him. BLAM!! The deer ran and Paul jumped to see if he hit the poor thing. A quick search for blood and when none was found, he headed for camp to organize a search party. After diligent searching Mark found a glowing green trail of blood and without any other help Rex tracked and found the glowing big horned varmint lying in the cane next to the creek. The huge deer was piebald (spotted for you idiots) with 7 huge points and an 18 ¾ inch spread of horns that glowed in the dark. Dept of Energy and Dept. of Agriculture were immediately called in to do the autopsy.
The mutant deer (big horns, tiny body) was found to be spotted from radiation sickness. The meat was immediately declared inedible for human consumption and given to the Howell Camp for supper. There was much coming and going of people in radiation suits and talking on walkie-talkies, then an old truck was discovered below the bridge that was suspected of hauling radioactive waste and may have been illegally dumping on the property for years. Trent Howell, criminal lawyer, (as they all are) said “it could be worse, it could be an old railway spur of one of my clients” Much prodding and bribery was needed to get the G-Men to leave the place especially after the members managed to steal a few of those cool white radiation suits. They would not leave until Paul said “Look at those horns, I sure would like all of you to come hunt here next year” The Feds were gone in 30 minutes. Congrats on a fine Buck!

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