It's A Weird Life

I had seen enough. bills, bills, bills covering me and Bobby and his pet squirrel had lost the deposit just as the auditors got here. I was doomed.
I drove out to the Yocona Bridge screamed "Good Bye Cruel World" and jumped in. Unfortunately the water was only two feet deep. It almost killed me!

When I came up an old fisherman pulled me in his boat, he looked a lot like GuyK and asked me what was the problem. I told him how hard it was and that I wished I had never been born. He said "You got your wish" just as he pulled in an 8 lb stripe. I crawled out on the bank, got in my car and drove back to Water Valley. The changes I saw were a nightmare.
My evil brother Paul was president of the United States which was horrible in itself. He had declared war on the Christmas Place in an effort to kill Thunderhoof once and for all.
Trent was the mayor of Water Valley, uh check that, Trentville. He controlled everything and taxed every hunter per inch of rack taken.
Dad was in jail for harboring a fugitive (Thunderhoof) and raising an illegal garden. Bobby was in the old folks home with Uncle Billy. Denise had moved away and was married to Brad Pitt. SOB! Camo was a famous star in Hollywood making movies "MissionDog Impossible" and was known as Cam Cruise. Burney was the editor of some magazine called PlayDeer. I was afraid to open it.

I ran down to my broken down Real Estate office. It was a casino. Trent's Gambling House. I ran to my house. Trent's B&B. Yikes! I drove out to the lake and met my mysterious fisherman. "Change me back" I cried. He said "Sorry, the fall really did kill you, welcome to Hell! I screamed and screamed until I woke up and found myself in my chair at that broken down miserable Real Estate office. Thank God and Merry Christmas to you all!