Deer Camp Blog- the outdoor column of The Bodock Times- (a satirical periodical)
Humor and Hunting at the famous Christmas Place Plantation Hunting Club on the edge of the Mississippi Delta
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight
Imagine, if you can, taking the THREE STOOGES deer hunting. Imagine turning them loose in the woods with high powered rifles. This is what we faced on the last weekend of deer season as Stuart "Wobble-Eye" Allen, Tim "Shaky" Crosby and Dean "Blood Trail" Lammey took to the woods at the famous Christmas Place. Most of us ended up hiding under our bunks as they waltzed out to their stands. It wasn't long 'till the shooting started. BLAM, BLAM, PING, ZING, QUACK, POW, KA-BLOOIE!
All of our dead-eye sharpshooters had just about run out of bullets.
Dean had shot a big buck, Tim shot a terrible hog and Stuart a vicious doe. We searched half the night but found no blood trails, no deer, no hog, no nothing, Undeterred they went at it the next morning and Stuart shot another monster doe. We headed out to look for all the deer and hogs. We found blood and followed blood trails for miles as we had to listen to their stories of their perfect shots over and over and over. We found NADA, Nothing. It was a nightmare, but we have decided to buy some elephants for them to practice on, maybe lock them in the barn for them to shoot. Maybe buy a herd of goats and tie them to the hanging pole for a few shots to warm up with. You know how hard it can be when a red-eyed demon doe comes out at 30 yards with a mouth full of grass and stares at you.
Maybe next year.