I talked to him this morning and he has a new plan to get his deer.
Monday, December 24, 2018
Paul On A Shelf
As you know, my evil brother Paul has not killed a deer this year. He has hunted almost everyday, but still no deer. He is at the panic stage, mumbling about his poor unfair treatment, how he has been put on the shelf by those unthoughtful people in charge of the holidays, how he has had to sacrifice the whole Christmas Season to his family, blubbering and sobbing to strangers on the street, and moaning like Jacob Marley's ghost. He is pitiful. HAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!
I talked to him this morning and he has a new plan to get his deer.
I talked to him this morning and he has a new plan to get his deer.
Tuesday, December 18, 2018
Screams From the Christmas Place
Saturday morning I was sitting on my stand at Turkey Feather watching and waiting when the loud sound of a gunshot rolled over me from Odom Ridge. It suddenly grew deathly quiet and then I heard an anguished scream off to my left, a second later another faint, terror stricken scream came from way in front of me. I knew my two brothers had realized that Burney had gotten his buck.
I waited, half expecting to see Paul and Trent come loping through the woods with safeties off, guns leveled and looking behind every tree and bush on the place to get their buck.
By then the screams had turned to muffled sobs.
I finally headed in to camp about 10:30 and the big deer was next to the hanging pole waiting for everyone to see. A really fine 9-point that weighed 205 lbs.
Everyone congratulated them, even Paul and Trent through clenched teeth.
Congratulations to the leader in the clubhouse Burney Howell!
I waited, half expecting to see Paul and Trent come loping through the woods with safeties off, guns leveled and looking behind every tree and bush on the place to get their buck.
By then the screams had turned to muffled sobs.
I finally headed in to camp about 10:30 and the big deer was next to the hanging pole waiting for everyone to see. A really fine 9-point that weighed 205 lbs.
Everyone congratulated them, even Paul and Trent through clenched teeth.
Congratulations to the leader in the clubhouse Burney Howell!
Tuesday, December 04, 2018
Thanksgiving At Camp
A little late but we enjoyed a very nice Thanksgiving at camp this year. Denise and I packed up our evil dogs Friday after a nice Thanksgiving day with her parents, and headed to camp. We hunted hard but no deer. Denise brought food, Wanda brought food, Erin, Michael, Haley and Alex showed up.
(Alex needs a little outdoorsy guidance) The ladies put together a super feast for everyone and we enjoyed everything except the ballgame that weekend.
It is nice to relax and just enjoy a good time together without anyone getting shot or stabbed.
Even the two with the biggest differences set it aside and enjoyed the weekend
(Alex needs a little outdoorsy guidance) The ladies put together a super feast for everyone and we enjoyed everything except the ballgame that weekend.
It is nice to relax and just enjoy a good time together without anyone getting shot or stabbed.
Even the two with the biggest differences set it aside and enjoyed the weekend
Monday, November 12, 2018
The Return of the Doe Master
The doe season was this week and it was the first really cold snap of the season. A few of the hunters were still in archery mode for a big buck, while Mark Stewart (Doe Master) filled his tag with a nice 120 lb. doe. While others were running their mouth about how great a hunter they were and others were gnashing their teeth and mumbling about some six-point stewpot deer, Mark was hunting and as usual got his quarry. Regular Gun Season is this weekend so hang on.
Monday, November 05, 2018
Squirrel Camp Update
The post on our squirrel camp was interrupted by Halloween, but in the interest of all our hardcore readers I did want to give a brief summary of the action.
There were 64 squirrels taken,
2 deer
3 hogs
and a whole boatload of fish
The squirrel and dumplings was excellent! Thank you, Joe Newman.
No one got shot, no alligators were injured. BOO!,, and Burney got the hole in the roof fixed.
We spent a lot of time around the fire visiting with our friends and I want to thank them for continuing the Hershel Howell Memorial Squirrel Hunt.
There were 64 squirrels taken,
2 deer
3 hogs
and a whole boatload of fish
The squirrel and dumplings was excellent! Thank you, Joe Newman.
No one got shot, no alligators were injured. BOO!,, and Burney got the hole in the roof fixed.
We spent a lot of time around the fire visiting with our friends and I want to thank them for continuing the Hershel Howell Memorial Squirrel Hunt.
Tuesday, October 30, 2018
Tuesday, October 23, 2018
Big Buck Down
While I was in the Grove at Ole Miss, still pretending that football season wasn't over, Burney started texting me with the pictures of the buck he killed Saturday morning in the rain.
It was a big 6 point. Six point? Six point? What??
He said "Yeah, it weighed 280 lbs!" Ahhh, What?
"Yeah.... What? Yeah.... What?"
He sent pics, you decide
It was a damn big deer though.
It was a big 6 point. Six point? Six point? What??
He said "Yeah, it weighed 280 lbs!" Ahhh, What?
"Yeah.... What? Yeah.... What?"
He sent pics, you decide
It was a damn big deer though.
Monday, October 08, 2018
Professor Blood Draws First Blood
Paul Howell (professor emeritus of Plasmetology aka Professor Blood) has managed to provide the first kill of the year at the famous Christmas Place with an incredible crossbow shot of 9 yards.
The poor deer never took another step as the good Professor unloaded on her.
His new book "1001 Uses for Deer Blood besides Drinking It" will be on sale at a mortuary near you this fall.
The poor deer never took another step as the good Professor unloaded on her.
His new book "1001 Uses for Deer Blood besides Drinking It" will be on sale at a mortuary near you this fall.
Friday, September 28, 2018
Deer Camp Agenda 09/28/18
Friday
1. 3:00pm-6:00pm work like hell planting fields
2. 6:00pm-7:00pm have drinks at the Droptine Lodge
3. 7:00pm dinner
4. 7:45pm another drink
5. 8:00pm Meeting of the Droptine Club- Wait. Am I still the only member?
6. 8:30pm Meeting of the 10 Point Club
Saturday
7. 5:00am-8:pm work like hell planting fields
8. 8:30pm find out if Paul found any good places to hunt while we were all working
9. 9:00pm dinner
10. 9:45pm a drink and blessed sleep
1. 3:00pm-6:00pm work like hell planting fields
2. 6:00pm-7:00pm have drinks at the Droptine Lodge
3. 7:00pm dinner
4. 7:45pm another drink
5. 8:00pm Meeting of the Droptine Club- Wait. Am I still the only member?
6. 8:30pm Meeting of the 10 Point Club
Saturday
7. 5:00am-8:pm work like hell planting fields
8. 8:30pm find out if Paul found any good places to hunt while we were all working
9. 9:00pm dinner
10. 9:45pm a drink and blessed sleep
Wednesday, September 05, 2018
Tuesday, September 04, 2018
Battle Of New Orleans II
Thunderhoof dug out the deep trenches with his antlers and stood firm beside the Mississippians, Kentuckians, Free Black Louisiana Militia, and Indian soldiers and loudly said "Don't Shoot 'Till You See The Whites Of Their Brow Tines!"
In later years while General Jackson was running for President it was changed so that Jackson said "Don"T Shoot 'Till You See The Whites Of Their Eyes" and history was made again.
In later years while General Jackson was running for President it was changed so that Jackson said "Don"T Shoot 'Till You See The Whites Of Their Eyes" and history was made again.
Monday, September 03, 2018
The Battle of New Orleans
This past weekend Denise and I visited New Orleans. We did a lot of things that we have not normally done. We went sailing! Ate and drank in out of the way places, Went to a Katrina exhibit and also went to an art exhibit. We also managed to visit the Battle of New Orleans Battlefield south of the city.
The battlefield is just below the 9th ward which still looks like a battlefield and is way off the beaten path. It is also very interesting and lays out very easy to understand how the battle played out. It should also be known how Thunderhoof helped General Jackson to defeat the British there.
The day before the Battle, Thunderhoof appeared and met with Gen Jackson to lay the trap, and trap it was. They deployed the troops in a narrow between the river and the swamp and forced the British to attack them across open land, (at night, in the winter)
Thunderhoof had the soldiers dig a 10 ft deep trench with the dirt used to build a huge fortification for the men to stay behind with cutouts for the cannons. To scale the side out was almost 20 ft.
Attacking British forces fell into the trench, could not get out and were slaughtered. Forces organizing in the field were cut to shreds from musket and cannon fire. It did not take long and the British withdrew and the war was over.
The battlefield is just below the 9th ward which still looks like a battlefield and is way off the beaten path. It is also very interesting and lays out very easy to understand how the battle played out. It should also be known how Thunderhoof helped General Jackson to defeat the British there.
The day before the Battle, Thunderhoof appeared and met with Gen Jackson to lay the trap, and trap it was. They deployed the troops in a narrow between the river and the swamp and forced the British to attack them across open land, (at night, in the winter)
Thunderhoof had the soldiers dig a 10 ft deep trench with the dirt used to build a huge fortification for the men to stay behind with cutouts for the cannons. To scale the side out was almost 20 ft.
Attacking British forces fell into the trench, could not get out and were slaughtered. Forces organizing in the field were cut to shreds from musket and cannon fire. It did not take long and the British withdrew and the war was over.
This monument was raised for out brave men and Thunderhoof of course.
Monday, August 20, 2018
Watermelon Fear
We were gathered on the porch of the Bailey Savings and Loan (Howell Realty) on Friday night of the Watermelon Carnial, enjoying the night and a smooth drink, when Paul and his golfing friends showed up to join us.
The night was perfect with thousands of people in the park and everyone having a great time and I was glad to see some old friends in Paul's group. Stuart Allen and Terry Cutrere.
The music at the Street Dance was heating up, the Tiki lamps around the office were lit and people were slowly heading over to visit when Stuart and Terry decided to go over and check out the street dance. I knew it was probably a mistake as I watched them go and then figured I had better go over and keep an eye on those helpless fools.
The music was rocking as Stuart and Terry walked right out in the middle of the dancers sipping their drinks and tapping their feet to the music. The were completely oblivious to the danger around them.
The girls from the Slaughterhouse crowded on side of the street, wearing their bloody white aprons over their dark green uniforms. Each had a butcher knife on a chain dangling from their waist and
was sipping from a Mason jar.
Across the street, the girls from the Sawmill, wearing overhauls, big black boots and also drinking moonshine glared across at the other side. Each of them had a big hammer and a long trim knife at their side.
It was a disaster in the making when Bertha Stone waddled over to Stuart, offered him a chaw of Tobacco and told him she wanted to dance. He graciously declined.
She grabbed him by the lapels with her sausage size fingers and said "I told you I want to dance" and laid her knife across his chest. Off they went. Terry stood there open mouthed a moment too long when Eloise Turdlow from the Slaughterhouse grabbed him and started to dance with a butcher knife laid on his shoulder. Several of them looked at me but I hid behind a little blue haired Grandma doing the Twist and managed to get away.
It was a race after that, the girls wanted to dance and Stuart and Terry could not escape. When one of the muscle bound Sawmill girls stopped, a big Slaughterhouse girl had her butcher knife out waiting to dance. Moonshine flowed as these girls glared at each other and stomped to the music. I left them to their fate.
Several hours later I saw them staggering over to my office. Drunk on moonshine, their clothes ripped and torn, bleeding in several places and a shell-shocked grimace of fear on their faces.
They disappeared soon after, I hope they had a good time.
The night was perfect with thousands of people in the park and everyone having a great time and I was glad to see some old friends in Paul's group. Stuart Allen and Terry Cutrere.
The music at the Street Dance was heating up, the Tiki lamps around the office were lit and people were slowly heading over to visit when Stuart and Terry decided to go over and check out the street dance. I knew it was probably a mistake as I watched them go and then figured I had better go over and keep an eye on those helpless fools.
The music was rocking as Stuart and Terry walked right out in the middle of the dancers sipping their drinks and tapping their feet to the music. The were completely oblivious to the danger around them.
The girls from the Slaughterhouse crowded on side of the street, wearing their bloody white aprons over their dark green uniforms. Each had a butcher knife on a chain dangling from their waist and
was sipping from a Mason jar.Across the street, the girls from the Sawmill, wearing overhauls, big black boots and also drinking moonshine glared across at the other side. Each of them had a big hammer and a long trim knife at their side.
It was a disaster in the making when Bertha Stone waddled over to Stuart, offered him a chaw of Tobacco and told him she wanted to dance. He graciously declined.
She grabbed him by the lapels with her sausage size fingers and said "I told you I want to dance" and laid her knife across his chest. Off they went. Terry stood there open mouthed a moment too long when Eloise Turdlow from the Slaughterhouse grabbed him and started to dance with a butcher knife laid on his shoulder. Several of them looked at me but I hid behind a little blue haired Grandma doing the Twist and managed to get away.
It was a race after that, the girls wanted to dance and Stuart and Terry could not escape. When one of the muscle bound Sawmill girls stopped, a big Slaughterhouse girl had her butcher knife out waiting to dance. Moonshine flowed as these girls glared at each other and stomped to the music. I left them to their fate.
Several hours later I saw them staggering over to my office. Drunk on moonshine, their clothes ripped and torn, bleeding in several places and a shell-shocked grimace of fear on their faces.
They disappeared soon after, I hope they had a good time.
Thursday, August 09, 2018
Wednesday, August 08, 2018
Thursday, August 02, 2018
List of Events fpr Carnival Weekend
The Carnival starts early this year with many vendors arriving today. There is lots of activity in the park as they set up tents and get the party going.
10:30 AM- The Annual Geriatric Three Leg Race- Circle the Park, first one to live to cross the finish line wins!
12:00 Noon- Watermelon Jugglers will be performing in front of the Family Hair Loom. Ohh the thrills of juggling 20 pound melons.
2:00 PM- Watermelon Fight- This is the big event for every kid in town. A free-For-All food fight in the park. Ambulances will be on site.
5:00 PM- The Watermelon Sky Dive Team will deploy over Water Valley. Please do not shoot at the performers.
7:00 PM- Bonfire and Hotdog Cookout- We will be burning Paul Howell in effigy this year, followed by hotdogs cooked over his hot coals.
10:00 PM- End of day- Sleep it off cause Friday is going to be a big day.
10:30 AM- The Annual Geriatric Three Leg Race- Circle the Park, first one to live to cross the finish line wins!
12:00 Noon- Watermelon Jugglers will be performing in front of the Family Hair Loom. Ohh the thrills of juggling 20 pound melons.
2:00 PM- Watermelon Fight- This is the big event for every kid in town. A free-For-All food fight in the park. Ambulances will be on site.
5:00 PM- The Watermelon Sky Dive Team will deploy over Water Valley. Please do not shoot at the performers.
7:00 PM- Bonfire and Hotdog Cookout- We will be burning Paul Howell in effigy this year, followed by hotdogs cooked over his hot coals.
10:00 PM- End of day- Sleep it off cause Friday is going to be a big day.
Monday, July 30, 2018
Monday, July 23, 2018
The Parthenon of Nashville
Another thing we did on our trip to Nashville, was to visit the Original Parthenon of Nashville, which is the center of Greek culture in the world. It was amazing! Gigantic! Colossal!
Many famous people have visited here including Percy Jackson the famous Olympian.
Do not be fooled by that pile of rocks in Athens, Greece.
This is the original as everyone knows.
PS They do not allow human sacrifice there anymore which was disheartening.
Many famous people have visited here including Percy Jackson the famous Olympian.
Do not be fooled by that pile of rocks in Athens, Greece.
This is the original as everyone knows.
PS They do not allow human sacrifice there anymore which was disheartening.
Wednesday, July 18, 2018
Tuesday, July 17, 2018
A Wedding of Nashville Cats
Yes, we all went to the big wedding of Haley and Alex and had a great time, despite being lost on the Natchez Trace and ending up in Godforsaken, Alabama. We stayed in Franklin, TN and relaxed before the festivities started and then braced ourselves for the party weekend.
A nice rehearsal dinner at a very fancy country club started it and everyone we met was charming, nice and went out of their way to be nice to us. We had a meal, drinks and watched the couple who seemed to glow with all the beautiful arrangements around them.
None of our group was arrested or thrown out the whole night so it was a major success, even though after listening to Paul drone on and on I thought I might be losing my hearing.
The next day was the wedding but we made it to the Country Music Hall of Fame early on and then went to a big event center outside Nashville for the wedding and reception.
Haley looked beautiful, She cried, Alex cried, I almost got stung by a wasp, Wanda cried. Paul was quiet for once. A beautiful service, they were married! and the party started with a few hundred guests. A sit down dinner, then the music started and the drinks flowed. It was great until Mr. Tightwad cut us off at 10:30. There was still whiskey left!
I have made this short but it truly was great. The rehearsal dinner, the wedding, the party, the whole atmosphere and all of Alex's friends and family were super nice.
Congratulations to Alex and Haley Boyd on your new life together. See you at camp!
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