You're So Damn Smart, You Try It!

Bizarro, MS> Everyone thinks that shooting a giant deer like Thunderhoof should be easy. They say “Hell, you see him all the time, why don’t you blast him?” HA! It is not as easy as you think.
First of all, I do see that stupid deer all the time and have shot at him or tried to until I am just about sick of it. Secondly, he is a lot trickier than you think. For example…..
I found a great place to hunt at the edge of a gentle ridge with big buck sign all around. I moved in before daylight, sat down, made a blind and prepared to hunt. It was perfect, it was so still and quiet that you could have heard a pin drop 100 yards away. No sign of deer that morning for the next two hours. I am sitting there scanning the small valley and the ridge in front of me with binoculars when suddenly a two foot long tongue licks down the side of my face. I jump, spin around and that damn varmint licks me again and pushes against me with his giant nose. Then the big galoot starts nuzzling through my pockets.
Thunderhoof always seems to find a couple of apples or a candy bar there for some reason.
My hunt is over and I have to sit and talk, and pet and scratch that worthless animal for a couple more hours. If I hear a deer coming, he grunts or snorts and it takes off, so I don’t even bother trying to hunt after he shows up. The only fair chase way to blast him, is to catch him unaware while he is roaming through the woods. So far, that has been impossible. I don't know if he is a deer or a pooka.
If you think you're so damn smart and can blast him, come get him.