Deer Camp Blog- the outdoor column of The Bodock Times- (a satirical periodical) Humor and Hunting at the famous Christmas Place Plantation Hunting Club on the edge of the Mississippi Delta
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Niki Knows Deerses
Our new friends Dude and Niki Henry came over the other night to the camp and had dinner with us. They brought their really nice children, Brooklyn and Brinkley, and they fit in great with all the other kids. It was a really fun time and of course the two deer pictured below were brought in too.
During the course of this Niki mentioned that she got a deer this year too. Plus she had a picture. We glanced thinking it was just another little old deer. Holy Mackeral! It was a giant mule! She took this bruiser over on the Mississippi River. Found out she is a big deer hunter on top of being very pretty. Sorry boys, unfortunately she is taken.
During the course of this Niki mentioned that she got a deer this year too. Plus she had a picture. We glanced thinking it was just another little old deer. Holy Mackeral! It was a giant mule! She took this bruiser over on the Mississippi River. Found out she is a big deer hunter on top of being very pretty. Sorry boys, unfortunately she is taken.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
First Deer For The Ladies
Monday, December 28, 2009
Antler Bowl Results
There is a lot going on, but I want to catch up on the Antler Bowl first. This is played during the Still Hunting season right before Christmas and it was a bloody and rough game again this year.
The Marauders (humans) took two big bucks 14 point
2 hogs, 2 coyotes, and 1 doe 15 points
the total was 29 points
Usually this would win going away put the Bighorn Bucks (deer) ran rampant through the lines scoring touchdown after touchdown with the Marauders unable to stop them.
Final score Big Horn Bucks 42 and Maruaders 29.
The Marauders (humans) took two big bucks 14 point
2 hogs, 2 coyotes, and 1 doe 15 points
the total was 29 points
Usually this would win going away put the Bighorn Bucks (deer) ran rampant through the lines scoring touchdown after touchdown with the Marauders unable to stop them.
Final score Big Horn Bucks 42 and Maruaders 29.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
The Night Before Deer Season
T’was the night before deer season
and all through the bunkhouse,
not a creature was stirring,
except Trent and Paul scheming quiet as a mouse.
The guns were all stacked by
the back door with care.
In hopes that the mad rush to the
boxstand would start there.
The hunters were nestled all snug
in their beds, while visions of
Thunderhoof danced in their heads.
With Rex and Burney freezing in the back
Paul and Trent plotted how to kill a big rack!
Then out in the yard arose such a clatter,
Paul and Trent loaded their guns to go see what's the matter.
Burney and Rex looked out at the new fallen snow,
and Hershel spoke up “I see a red glow!”
Then what to their wandering eyes should appear
but a miniature sleigh and eight giant horned deer.
With a little old driver so lively and quick,
Paul couldn’t get off a shot at the deer of St. Nick!
“On Dasher! On Dancer, On Prancer and Vixen,
Run Comet, Run Cupid, duck Donder and Blitzen!
From the top of the porch, to the top of the wall,
Dash Away, Dash Away, before those fools kill us all!
Then in an instant we heard on the roof,
the prancing and pawing of each giant hoof.
As Hershel pulled in his head and was turning around,
down the chimney came an angry St. Nick with a bound.
He was angry and red from his head to his feet,
and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work,
He filled all the stocking and said with a smirk
"Pop got shells to kill some old ducks,
Rex and Burney got giant big bucks
Bobby got a shovel to bury his money in a big hole,
Paul and Trent are getting nothing but coal. "
Then laying his finger aside of his nose,
and giving the finger, up the chimney he rose!
But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight.
"Merry Christmas to all,
Trent and Paul this just ain’t your night! "
and all through the bunkhouse,
not a creature was stirring,
except Trent and Paul scheming quiet as a mouse.
The guns were all stacked by
the back door with care.
In hopes that the mad rush to the
boxstand would start there.
The hunters were nestled all snug
in their beds, while visions of
Thunderhoof danced in their heads.
With Rex and Burney freezing in the back
Paul and Trent plotted how to kill a big rack!
Then out in the yard arose such a clatter,
Paul and Trent loaded their guns to go see what's the matter.
Burney and Rex looked out at the new fallen snow,
and Hershel spoke up “I see a red glow!”
Then what to their wandering eyes should appear
but a miniature sleigh and eight giant horned deer.
With a little old driver so lively and quick,
Paul couldn’t get off a shot at the deer of St. Nick!
“On Dasher! On Dancer, On Prancer and Vixen,
Run Comet, Run Cupid, duck Donder and Blitzen!
From the top of the porch, to the top of the wall,
Dash Away, Dash Away, before those fools kill us all!
Then in an instant we heard on the roof,
the prancing and pawing of each giant hoof.
As Hershel pulled in his head and was turning around,
down the chimney came an angry St. Nick with a bound.
He was angry and red from his head to his feet,
and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work,
He filled all the stocking and said with a smirk
"Pop got shells to kill some old ducks,
Rex and Burney got giant big bucks
Bobby got a shovel to bury his money in a big hole,
Paul and Trent are getting nothing but coal. "
Then laying his finger aside of his nose,
and giving the finger, up the chimney he rose!
But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight.
"Merry Christmas to all,
Trent and Paul this just ain’t your night! "
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Early Christmas Presents
My two Scrooge-like brothers were busy this past weekend opening their early gift-wrapped presents of big bucks. Here is the loathsome Gulf Coast lawyer (Paul) with the big 8-point buck he took off of the 72 acres.
My other brother, Trent, (the Grinch)took this magnificent 11-point Sunday morning at the Beaverdam. Trent was smiling like a Chesire cat for the rest of the day.
Pauls buck weighed 230 lbs and Trents weighed 215 lbs. Needless to say, we are going to quit resting on our laurels and start hunting hard again. Here is Trent with Drew and Austin as we are dragging the big deer out. Damn!
My other brother, Trent, (the Grinch)took this magnificent 11-point Sunday morning at the Beaverdam. Trent was smiling like a Chesire cat for the rest of the day.
Pauls buck weighed 230 lbs and Trents weighed 215 lbs. Needless to say, we are going to quit resting on our laurels and start hunting hard again. Here is Trent with Drew and Austin as we are dragging the big deer out. Damn!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Antler Bowl Weekend
Bloody Horns, MS> This weekend once again marks the famous rivalry clash between the Bighorn Bucks of Christmas Deer University and the Marauders of the Christmas Place Military Academy. This wild game occurs every year during the Still Hunting season.
The Marauders feel they are on top of the world as they have taken four starters out of the game for the Bucks, before the game even starts. Coach Thunderhoof is rallying his players for a do-or-die revenge game that could get bloody. The Bucks are putting three new razorback 400 lb. linebackers in the game to stop the Marauders. The Bucks are serious about winning this year.
For the Marauders, Rex and Paul are at the halfbacks this year while Trent is the deep threat. (We hope he will go long and not come back)
Kickoff is slated for Friday morning at daylight.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
We Need A Little Hunting
Every SOB in Mississippi and Tennessee has called me this week wanting to know how it felt. Kids laugh at me, dogs growl at me, and women shun me. "How did that feel to see those giant bucks on the pole?" "How did that feel for your cousin and your nephew to steal the glory with those giant bucks?" Damn, I swear I have already killed a giant buck but now feel like I have done nothing.
Paul is moping around wondering what Michael and Burney were doing on his stands and I swear, Trent has taken to his bed. We need a little Christmas, need a little hunting........
Haul out The Deer Lure
Climb up the tree
Before my spirit Falls again
Load up The rifle
I may be Rushing things
But Heck with the deer
Again now
For we need A little Christmas
Right This very minute
Hunting In the winter
Stories At the campfire
Yes We need A little Christmas
Right This very minute
It hasn't snowed
bucks aren’t a bit worried
But santa, dear
We're in a hurry
So climb up the oak tree
Shoot at The biggest
rack of horns I've ever seen
Slice up The venison
It's time We hung
Some big deer
On that hanging pole
For i've grown A little leaner
Grown A little colder
Grown A little sadder
Grown A little older
And i need A giant buck
hanging by the campfire
Need a little Christmas now
For we need A little hunting
Need A little laughter
Need A little blasting
Ringing through The forest
And we need A giant buck for a
"happy ever after"
Need a little Christmas now....
Paul is moping around wondering what Michael and Burney were doing on his stands and I swear, Trent has taken to his bed. We need a little Christmas, need a little hunting........
Haul out The Deer Lure
Climb up the tree
Before my spirit Falls again
Load up The rifle
I may be Rushing things
But Heck with the deer
Again now
For we need A little Christmas
Right This very minute
Hunting In the winter
Stories At the campfire
Yes We need A little Christmas
Right This very minute
It hasn't snowed
bucks aren’t a bit worried
But santa, dear
We're in a hurry
So climb up the oak tree
Shoot at The biggest
rack of horns I've ever seen
Slice up The venison
It's time We hung
Some big deer
On that hanging pole
For i've grown A little leaner
Grown A little colder
Grown A little sadder
Grown A little older
And i need A giant buck
hanging by the campfire
Need a little Christmas now
For we need A little hunting
Need A little laughter
Need A little blasting
Ringing through The forest
And we need A giant buck for a
"happy ever after"
Need a little Christmas now....
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Nathaniel Gets 'Er Done
James and his family are from Alaska and are used to shooting at animals the size of elephants. His boys, Brock and Nathaniel are taking to this deer hunting business though and this past weekend Nathaniel got his first deer.
Everyone knows what a big talker Nathaniel is and we had to listen to the story a few dozen times. How the deer slipped off the ridge, how he aimed and aimed, which way the wind blew, how he thought the deer could hear his heart beating, how he squeezed the trigger. After we woke up, we congratulated him on a great job and on bagging his first deer.
Monday, December 14, 2009
An Unbelievable Weekend
Hornsamighty, MS> It was an OMG weekend at the famous Christmas Place. On the way to camp I got a call from Burney. All I could understand was "72 acres" and "13 point." I sped up to light speed and when I reached the camp, Burney had this magnificent 13 point hanging on the pole. What a way to start the weekend!
This impressive buck only weighed 175 lbs. but what a set of beautiful antlers.
The width was 16 inches and it will be an extraordinary mount.
Needless to say, this put all the hunters in the woods the next morning even as the rain started to pour down.
Hold your horses, we are not done yet!
No deer that morning but the rain fell off to light splatters and shifting winds for the afternoon hunt. No one was dawdling around as they headed out to hunt again. Late that afternoon, at the Leevee stand this ungodly horse of a deer wandered out in front of Michael and with one shot he laid the giant deer on the ground.
When they brought that thing in, it did look like a horse across the back of that 4-wheeler. We grabbed it and tried to get it on the hanging pole. The rope broke! We retied and lifted, he was so big we could not get his head off the ground! We lowered him, reattached the gambrel and lifted. He bent the damn gambrel!
Finally we got him up and weighed him. This big 10 point weighed an unbelievable 275 lbs. Yes, the scales are correct. It was the biggest damn buck I have ever seen. It hung on the pole like a giant land shark.
Here is a pic of the two lucky idiots together.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Shopping For Deerses
Holly Jolly, MS> It is the last weekend of the primitive weapons season and we are headed back to camp this weekend. I am not planning on hunting; I am waiting on the Still Season to start. Denise and I are going to drive on in to Jackson and do all our Christmas shopping on Saturday. I hear Bass Pro calling my name.
The usual losers are going to be at camp hunting. Hell yes, Paul will be there.
Will give a report on my great shopping ability later.
Meanwhile here is a pic making the rounds. It surely depicts a Water Valley Christmas.
The usual losers are going to be at camp hunting. Hell yes, Paul will be there.
Will give a report on my great shopping ability later.
Meanwhile here is a pic making the rounds. It surely depicts a Water Valley Christmas.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Priorities???
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Christmas Gifts?
Yes it is that time of year again. The time of year to buy Christmas gifts for yout favorite blogger (me). What would I like? Hmmm... What would I like?
Like evey so-called adult I need blue jeans. Regular fit 34x34 levis or Wranglers.
I really need a pair or two of heavy hunting socks. My feets get cold!
I am low on bullets. .270 Win 130 grain.
Tennis shoes, a new belt, and a black baseball cap.
Hunting wise I will take anything. Ever notice how it seems to disappear no matter how much you have? Grunt call, binocs, gloves, camo jacket etc.
So all you bloggers and readers out there, get busy! Make this a happy christmas for me. Did I mention I need blue jeans?
PS- don't worry about my brothers, they are used to getting lumps of coal.
Like evey so-called adult I need blue jeans. Regular fit 34x34 levis or Wranglers.
I really need a pair or two of heavy hunting socks. My feets get cold!
I am low on bullets. .270 Win 130 grain.
Tennis shoes, a new belt, and a black baseball cap.
Hunting wise I will take anything. Ever notice how it seems to disappear no matter how much you have? Grunt call, binocs, gloves, camo jacket etc.
So all you bloggers and readers out there, get busy! Make this a happy christmas for me. Did I mention I need blue jeans?
PS- don't worry about my brothers, they are used to getting lumps of coal.
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Don"t Be A Swine
While Bob was exorcising his demons this past weekend, Burney managed to get a nice size hog himself. He blasted this one as it slipped aross the slough where he was hunting.
Which reminds me, Do Not Be A Swine, Send Me Your Pic for the Christmas Card ASAP.
I would like to post the Christmas Card around the 20th.
Meanwhile, primitive weapons last through this weekend and then the famous Antler Bowl will be played during Still Season.
Friday, December 04, 2009
Snow Deer
Glacier, MS> Good News! The radar reports that it is snowing in Houston, Tx. If you draw a straight line from Houston to the Christmas Place, calculate the miles then divide by the date of Othmars birthday it equals 12 point buck. Simple.
or you can use this formula.
H= MB(2)
where horns are equal to twice the speed of my bullet x Machine Gun Marians speed of light blasting at the box field. then plug in and multiply by how many hogs Phillip blasted last week (172) then divide by the square root of how many ducks Holly shot last week (63) add the amount of points of my buck (9) and you come out with a snow covered 12 point buck. Very Simple. Got to go pack my longjohns.
I have never had a chance to hunt at the Chistmas Place in the snow and hope that this is finally the year to really see the beauty of a deep snow on the land.
or you can use this formula.
H= MB(2)
where horns are equal to twice the speed of my bullet x Machine Gun Marians speed of light blasting at the box field. then plug in and multiply by how many hogs Phillip blasted last week (172) then divide by the square root of how many ducks Holly shot last week (63) add the amount of points of my buck (9) and you come out with a snow covered 12 point buck. Very Simple. Got to go pack my longjohns.
I have never had a chance to hunt at the Chistmas Place in the snow and hope that this is finally the year to really see the beauty of a deep snow on the land.
Thursday, December 03, 2009
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
1st Season Over
The first gun season for deer is over and it is now time to bring out the smoke poles to give it a try. We will be heading in to camp for the Primitive Weapons season this Friday and hope that the big bucks are moving more now as cold weather is moving in fast.
I still need a few pics for the Christmas Card.
Matt, Kristine, Toast Man, Drew, Salty, Libby, Callie, Penn, A&J, DeerSlayer. There are a few more, you know who you are.
Time to polish my 45/70.
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Thanksgiving At The Christmas Place
Plymouth Rock, MS> It was crowded with over 30 people there. My brother James showed up with his whole crew.
Denise came down with her children Sadie, Alexis and Josh.
Thank goodness everyone got to see my deer!
There was enough food to feed that army and probably a couple more.
A special thanks to Wanda for putting the meal together and the hard work involved. Here is a pic of Wanda and Ms. Dorothy putting the finishing touches on the food.
Yes, we even had TURDUCKEN. (look it up)
We ate, we drank, we visited. We ate some more and then some more. It was a real feast.
The girls, Haley, Alexis, Sadie and Hillary
Erin, Michael and Austin
I tried to convince all the guys that the rut was over and they were wasting their time going hunting anymore. They should stay at camp and visit with their cousins and the women-folk. They would not listen. No deer for the next few days, then Sunday morning Paul got this nice 210 lb. 8-point. Damn! Congratulations Paul.
Denise came down with her children Sadie, Alexis and Josh.
Thank goodness everyone got to see my deer!
There was enough food to feed that army and probably a couple more.
A special thanks to Wanda for putting the meal together and the hard work involved. Here is a pic of Wanda and Ms. Dorothy putting the finishing touches on the food.
Yes, we even had TURDUCKEN. (look it up)
We ate, we drank, we visited. We ate some more and then some more. It was a real feast.
The girls, Haley, Alexis, Sadie and Hillary
Erin, Michael and Austin
I tried to convince all the guys that the rut was over and they were wasting their time going hunting anymore. They should stay at camp and visit with their cousins and the women-folk. They would not listen. No deer for the next few days, then Sunday morning Paul got this nice 210 lb. 8-point. Damn! Congratulations Paul.
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