Hog Lust

Unlike Phillip at the Hog Blog, I do not suffer from lusting after the blood of those nasty damn hogs. But, it is amazing to me the people that do.
One of the jokes in our camp is
If Mark had two bullets and a trophy buck and a hog came out in front of him, what would he do?
The answer is- shoot the hog twice.
Lots and lots of people that do not care for deer hunting can not wait to get a crack at a hog.
Maybe one day Phillip will come down to visit, maybe bring Holly with him, and show us how the heck you really get after those hogs. Waiting.

Yankee Hog Rules

As stated we are bringing in a bunch of Yankees to hog hunt this weekend and it could get dangerous. Here are some rules for them to observe.
1. Don't shoot the Saquatches. I don't know what the fine is for that and don't want to know.
2. Hogs and deer are different animals and species. Look hard before shooting.
3. Burney and I are not hogs, don't shoot us either.
4. Camo is not a hog either and she don't care much for Yankees.
5. Don't mess with Two-Gun Tony, I don't want to have to clean up any blood.
6. Mark and Tony work for the Post Office. Please don't ask about weapons or psych evaluations in front of them.
7. If you are attacked by a hog, be quiet. Other people are hunting.
8. Have a good time and don't blow your damn fool head off.

The Sasquatch Files

I went over to Moose Droppings to check up on the search for Bigfoot. The big circus they had up there looking for him was all done completely wrong. Why do you look for him? The main thing you want is a picture and his autograph of course. He is almost as famous as Elvis! The sasquatches, sasquati, whatever, on our property are just as elusive as those in North Carolina and I can't get them to sit still for a picture. If they do, they ham it up so bad no one believes the pics are real. I am going to do some sleuthing this summer and find out more about them and why they spend their summer vacations at the famous Christmas Place. Will be reporting more on them later.

Ghillie Boys' Birthday

Today is Spencers birthday. The first thing to remember is that all the cool stuff happens when you are 16. He is going to have a very interesting year. The most important thing though is that he was born on National Pancake Day. Yes that is today and of course it's all the pancakes you can eat. Congratulations to a fine kid that is really interested in joining the Marines and is looking forward to serving his country.
As you can tell from his shooting ability, he wants to be a sniper.

A Tarnished Weekend

So I am watching the Academy awards and who do I see sitting up there with his buddies Tom Hanks and Brad Pitt? That's right, that stupid deer, Thunderhoof, was schmoozing with the celebrities. I just turned it off.
No hog info this week either. It is very quiet. In fact neither one of my evil brothers has talked to me this morning. Thank God!
Tomorrow is Spencers Birthday! This means drivers license to him so expect to see more of him at camp this year. No more excuses.
I wonder when they are going to make a movie out of my blog?

Hog Death 2011

The big hog hunt is set for next weekend and we have a herd of Yankees coming down to enjoy it. Burney, Mailrider and myself will be hosting and there is a chance that my old friend Mr. jones (Scratch) will be joining us. There is also a good chance that Two-Gun Tony will be coming too. That, by itself, should scare the hell out of the Yankees.
Hunting these unpredictable and vicious hogs is hard and dangerous work and I only expect for one or two of our guests to be gored and eaten.
Should be a fun time.

While I'm Ranting

Let me introduce you to Bear over at The Redneck Rant. He is blogging over in Pennsylvania of which I know little except that I did pass by Miss Jennys place once, wanted pancakes but Mailrider wouldn't stop and visited Gettysburg. That's a different story though.
Bear takes on everyone and loves hot music, the south, hunting and everything country you can imagine and is not a damn bit apologetic about any of it.
Looks like he is a pretty good hunter, and a good shot too.
Go over and visit him and tell him to keep blogging!

Death to Somalia

I usually don't go off on rants. I mostly leave that to Long Tall Becky or the charming and perceptive GuyK, but these damn pirates have really pissed me off. You need to read the headline. Pirates Kill 4 American Hostages on Yacht. What in the hell is the President doing? What the hell is our military thinking? Who the hell is in charge? It is time to go back to the Roosevelt ultimatum with these g.d people. "Pedicaris alive or Razuli dead"
It is time for warships off the coast of Somalia and a whole lot of worthless dead m.f pirates. Get off your asses. Now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5 Year Blogoversary

In February of 2006 I started writing on this blog. I had no idea how to start and which direction it would go. I only hoped to write down the wonderful stories I had heard growing up on paper for the future. Thunderhoof was barely an idea in my head and I had no knowledge that I had an affinity for writing short ghost stories. (ed. note... Thunderhoof is real and all stories told here are completely true.)
I did not believe people would actually read my blog or tell me how much they enjoy it. I also did not know the friends out there that I would make if only on the internet. I hope to meet each and every blogger that I have crossed paths with one day. So I continue, there are a lot more stories and the famous Christmas Place is full of them. I am old, ancient for a blogger now, but still enjoying it. I hope you will visit often. Thanks for reading.

Appraisers See History

One of the fun things about being an appraiser is the chance to see and touch history. Exploring old vacant homes and buildings gives you a chance to really look at the architecture used when it was built and to discover things that have been ignored, lost or just plain forgotten.
Recently I had the chance to appraise an old bank. Inside was the original safe from probably 1890-1900. Very cool. There were also many files here that had historical significance that need to be saved. If anyone knows how to contact the Yalobusha Historical Society, please leave a comment.

The Battle of Coffeeville

There is little in the history books and no set aside battlefield to mark the importance of the Battle of Coffeeville. Recently a marker was posted that at least marks that it really happened.
A trap was set as the Yankees moved through my hometown of Water Valley and headed down the railroad and old Coffeeville road to take Coffeeville. The Yankees were strung out over two miles of road and moseying along when the trap was sprung and the Confederates opened fire with cannon, musketfiree and crazed calvary. The Rebs caught them completely by surprise. Needless to say it was a rout and the reeling Yankees skedaddled back up north of Water Valley to lick their wounds and ended up retreating back to Memphis. This battle effectively stopped Grant's first advance on Vicksburg.

Valentines' Day Confusion

It is Valentines Day and once again I am totally confused. I need to get something nice for Denise today and maybe go out somewhere nice for a dinner.
But what about Camo? Do I need to get her something? And what about Thunderhoof? That stupid deer has survived hunting season once again. What can I get him? This is confusing. Suggestions needed (quick)

Icy Golf

Yesterday after I got home I went and found my golf clubs and pulled them out. After a few rusty swings I headed out to use them. I spent the rest of the day breaking ice off of my driveway with a damn 7-iron. I really need some relief.

White Out

Once again I ask, is this winter never going to end?
We are covered in snow (again) and I am tired.
I want to fish, and play golf, and enjoy being outdoors.
This is ridiculous.

Tricksy Snow Hogs

Another massive cold front is moving into the South today and it is bringing a ton of snow with it. How in the hell am I going to blast a hog in a blizzard? Those varmints root up under the snow so you can't see them and when you walk by, they spring up and gore you to death. Everyone knows that. Ask Phillip. And the white hogs, they blend in to the snow perfectly as they creep up on you for that death slash. Yes, really. Everyone knows that. Ask Bob.
It is not going to be fit weather for man nor beast this weekend. Guess I will stay home by the fire while other fools go die in the snow.

Easy SuperBowl Money

I watched the SuperBowl Sunday and of course knew who was going to win before the game started. The TV panned to the owners box and there were a bunch of zillionaires, a President or two and Thunderhoof up there having a great time. That stupid deer had a big cheese head thing on his head.
Game, set, match.

Belated Birthday Greetings

Paul Howell, crooked lawyer and ambulance chaser, professional killer and man of many useless words had his birthday this weekend. Yes, he is old as dirt. Congratulations on another year and hope you have many, many more happy birthdays brother.

Blasted Tailfeathers

Paul and his cronies made a last duck hunting trip over in Arkansas. I am sure the wardens are still looking for them.

Who Needs 72 Virgins?

Paul and his cronies in Heaven

A Final Hog

This past weekend my cousin Davin Lammey and his son Dean came down to visit. Davin got a doe and Dean got this nice hog. They are pictured here with Burney. A very good final hog for deer season.