On Mondays the country club here is closed so I thought it would be a perfect time to take Denise and Camo to play golf with me. I could see me blistering the course and rolling in those birdies as Denise watched in awe and my faithful dog trotted along with me. I do not know what kind of drugs I was on.
The problem started on the first tee as I had to explain the rules of etiquette to Camo as she tried to rip the club out of my hand.
Finally we got going and it rapidly got worse.
The first water filled ditch we came to Camo bailed off into the middle of it. Sploosh! Denise said "why did you hit your ball over here?" WHACK! I hit it again.
Camo decided to roll across the green while I was putting. A quick shake and she went looking for another water hole. WHACK! "Rex! There could be snakes over here!"
Splash! Camo jumped into the lake; damn dog looked like a beaver cutting across it.
"Why did you hit your ball in the water?" "There's mosquitos out here!
Galoomp, Galoomp, Camo tried to run off with my golf ball. WHACK! Whizzz...
"That was pretty before it went in the woods" Sploosh! in the creek.
Camo wasn't worth a damn helping me line up putts and we had some trouble with holding the flag. She got the message to pull it out but catching her and getting the damn thing back was a problem.
"Rex. I'm sweating" Splash! Grrrrrr!
"Get back you stupid dog!" Galoomp, Galoomp, Splash!
"Is this the last hole?" YES!