WORST DEER HUNTING YEAR EVER.....

It is now December 31, New Years Eve and we have only one buck this year with our rifles. Trent and Paul have gone crazy and I am not feeling so good myself. This is turning into a very, very long deer season but hey! more rain is on the way.
Will let you know if we get a deer, or have to put my brothers in an insane asylum.

Paul On A Shelf

As you know, my evil brother Paul has not killed a deer this year. He has hunted almost everyday, but still no deer. He is at the panic stage, mumbling about his poor unfair treatment, how he has been put on the shelf by those unthoughtful people in charge of the holidays, how he has had to sacrifice the whole Christmas Season to his family, blubbering and sobbing to strangers on the street, and moaning like Jacob Marley's ghost. He is pitiful. HAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!
I talked to him this morning and he has a new plan to get his deer.

Screams From the Christmas Place

Saturday morning I was sitting on my stand at Turkey Feather watching and waiting when the loud sound of a gunshot rolled over me from Odom Ridge. It suddenly grew deathly quiet and then I heard an anguished scream off to my left, a second later another faint, terror stricken scream came from way in front of me. I knew my two brothers had realized that Burney had gotten his buck.
I waited, half expecting to see Paul and Trent come loping through the woods with safeties off, guns leveled and looking behind every tree and bush on the place to get their buck.
By then the screams had turned to muffled sobs.
I finally headed in to camp about 10:30 and the big deer was next to the hanging pole waiting for everyone to see. A really fine 9-point that weighed 205 lbs.
Everyone congratulated them, even Paul and Trent through clenched teeth.
Congratulations to the leader in the clubhouse Burney Howell!

Thanksgiving At Camp

A little late but we enjoyed a very nice Thanksgiving at camp this year. Denise and I packed up our evil dogs Friday after a nice Thanksgiving day with her parents, and headed to camp. We hunted hard but no deer. Denise brought food, Wanda brought food, Erin, Michael, Haley and Alex showed up.
(Alex needs a little outdoorsy guidance) The ladies put together a super feast for everyone and we enjoyed everything except the ballgame that weekend.
It is nice to relax and just enjoy a good time together without anyone getting shot or stabbed.
Even the two with the biggest differences set it aside and enjoyed the weekend

The Return of the Doe Master

The doe season was this week and it was the first really cold snap of the season. A few of the hunters were still in archery mode for a big buck, while Mark Stewart (Doe Master) filled his tag with a nice 120 lb. doe. While others were running their mouth about how great a hunter they were and others were gnashing their teeth and mumbling about some six-point stewpot deer, Mark was hunting and as usual got his quarry. Regular Gun Season is this weekend so hang on.

Squirrel Camp Update

The post on our squirrel camp was interrupted by Halloween, but in the interest of all our hardcore readers I did want to give a brief summary of the action.
There were 64 squirrels taken,
2 deer
3 hogs
and a whole boatload of fish
The squirrel and dumplings was excellent! Thank you, Joe Newman.
No one got shot, no alligators were injured. BOO!,, and Burney got the hole in the roof fixed.
We spent a lot of time around the fire visiting with our friends and I want to thank them for continuing the Hershel Howell Memorial Squirrel Hunt.

MONSTER CAMP!

                            Paul                                                                                                     Rex

                                                 

                                                                    Spencer                                                                                               Terry                                 
                                             

        

                                                      Trent                                  Burney

Big Buck Down

While I was in the Grove at Ole Miss, still pretending that football season wasn't over, Burney started texting me with the pictures of the buck he killed Saturday morning in the rain.
It was a big 6 point. Six point? Six point? What??
He said "Yeah, it weighed 280 lbs!" Ahhh, What?
"Yeah.... What? Yeah.... What?"
He sent pics, you decide
It was a damn big deer though.

Professor Blood Draws First Blood

Paul Howell (professor emeritus of Plasmetology aka Professor Blood) has managed to provide the first kill of the year at the famous Christmas Place with an incredible crossbow shot of 9 yards.
The poor deer never took another step as the good Professor unloaded on her.
His new book "1001 Uses for Deer Blood besides Drinking It" will be on sale at a mortuary near you this fall.

Deer Camp Agenda 09/28/18

Friday
1. 3:00pm-6:00pm work like hell planting fields
2. 6:00pm-7:00pm have drinks at the Droptine Lodge
3. 7:00pm dinner
4. 7:45pm another drink
5. 8:00pm Meeting of the Droptine Club- Wait. Am I still the only member?
6. 8:30pm Meeting of the 10 Point Club
Saturday
7. 5:00am-8:pm work like hell planting fields
8. 8:30pm find out if Paul found any good places to hunt while we were all working
9. 9:00pm dinner
10. 9:45pm a drink and blessed sleep

Rexbad The Sailor

Battle Of New Orleans II

Thunderhoof dug out the deep trenches with his antlers and stood firm beside the Mississippians, Kentuckians, Free Black Louisiana Militia, and Indian soldiers and loudly said "Don't Shoot 'Till You See The Whites Of Their Brow Tines!"
In later years while General Jackson was running for President it was changed so that Jackson said "Don"T Shoot 'Till You See The Whites Of Their Eyes" and history was made again.

The Battle of New Orleans

This past weekend Denise and I visited New Orleans. We did a lot of things that we have not normally done. We went sailing! Ate and drank in out of the way places, Went to a Katrina exhibit and also went to an art exhibit. We also managed to visit the Battle of New Orleans Battlefield south of the city.
The battlefield is just below the 9th ward which still looks like a battlefield and is way off the beaten path. It is also very interesting and lays out very easy to understand how the battle played out. It should also be known how Thunderhoof helped General Jackson to defeat the British there.
The day before the Battle, Thunderhoof appeared and met with Gen Jackson to lay the trap, and trap it was. They deployed the troops in a narrow between the river and the swamp and forced the British to attack them across open land, (at night, in the winter)
Thunderhoof had the soldiers dig a 10 ft deep trench with the dirt used to build a huge fortification for the men to stay behind with cutouts for the cannons. To scale the side out was almost 20 ft.
Attacking British forces fell into the trench, could not get out and were slaughtered. Forces organizing in the field were cut to shreds from musket and cannon fire. It did not take long and the British withdrew and the war was over.

This monument was raised for out brave men and Thunderhoof of course.



Watermelon Fear

We were gathered on the porch of the Bailey Savings and Loan (Howell Realty) on Friday night of the Watermelon Carnial, enjoying the night and a smooth drink, when Paul and his golfing friends showed up to join us.
The night was perfect with thousands of people in the park and everyone having a great time and I was glad to see some old friends in Paul's group. Stuart Allen and Terry Cutrere.
The music at the Street Dance was heating up, the Tiki lamps around the office were lit and people were slowly heading over to visit when Stuart and Terry decided to go over and check out the street dance. I knew it was probably a mistake as I watched them go and then figured I had better go over and keep an eye on those helpless fools.

The music was rocking as Stuart and Terry walked right out in the middle of the dancers sipping their drinks and tapping their feet to the music. The were completely oblivious to the danger around them.
The girls from the Slaughterhouse crowded on side of the street, wearing their bloody white aprons over their dark green uniforms. Each had a butcher knife on a chain dangling from their waist and
was sipping from a Mason jar.
Across the street, the girls from the Sawmill, wearing overhauls, big black boots and also drinking moonshine glared across at the other side. Each of them had a big hammer and a long trim knife at their side.

It was a disaster in the making when Bertha Stone waddled over to Stuart, offered him a chaw of Tobacco and told him she wanted to dance. He graciously declined.
She grabbed him by the lapels with her sausage size fingers and said "I told you I want to dance" and laid her knife across his chest. Off they went. Terry stood there open mouthed a moment too long when Eloise Turdlow from the Slaughterhouse grabbed him and started to dance with a butcher knife laid on his shoulder. Several of them looked at me but I hid behind a little blue haired Grandma doing the Twist and managed to get away.

It was a race after that, the girls wanted to dance and Stuart and Terry could not escape. When one of the muscle bound Sawmill girls stopped, a big Slaughterhouse girl had her butcher knife out waiting to dance. Moonshine flowed as these girls glared at each other and stomped to the music. I left them to their fate.
Several hours later I saw them staggering over to my office. Drunk on moonshine, their clothes ripped and torn, bleeding in several places and a shell-shocked grimace of fear on their faces.

They disappeared soon after, I hope they had a good time.

Delivery Day Watermelon Carnival 2018

What Did I Do?

List of Events fpr Carnival Weekend

The Carnival starts early this year with many vendors arriving today. There is lots of activity in the park as they set up tents and get the party going.
10:30 AM- The Annual Geriatric Three Leg Race- Circle the Park, first one to live to cross the finish line wins!
12:00 Noon-  Watermelon Jugglers will be performing in front of the Family Hair Loom. Ohh the thrills of juggling 20 pound melons.
2:00 PM- Watermelon Fight- This is the big event for every kid in town. A free-For-All food fight in the park. Ambulances will be on site.
5:00 PM- The Watermelon Sky Dive Team will deploy over Water Valley. Please do not shoot at the performers.
7:00 PM- Bonfire and Hotdog Cookout- We will be burning Paul Howell in effigy this year, followed by hotdogs cooked over his hot coals.
10:00 PM- End of day- Sleep it off cause Friday is going to be a big day.

It,s Watermelon Week!

The Parthenon of Nashville

Another thing we did on our trip to Nashville, was to visit the Original Parthenon of Nashville, which is the center of Greek culture in the world. It was amazing! Gigantic! Colossal!
Many famous people have visited here including Percy Jackson the famous Olympian.
Do not be fooled by that pile of rocks in Athens, Greece.
This is the original as everyone knows.
PS They do not allow human sacrifice there anymore which was disheartening.

The Wedding Party

A Wedding of Nashville Cats

Yes, we all went to the big wedding of Haley and Alex and had a great time, despite being lost on the Natchez Trace and ending up in Godforsaken, Alabama. We stayed in Franklin, TN and relaxed before the festivities started and then braced ourselves for the party weekend.
A nice rehearsal dinner at a very fancy country club started it and everyone we met was charming, nice and went out of their way to be nice to us. We had a meal, drinks and watched the couple who seemed to glow with all the beautiful arrangements around them.
None of our group was arrested or thrown out the whole night so it was a major success, even though after listening to Paul drone on and on I thought I might be losing my hearing.
The next day was the wedding but we made it to the Country Music Hall of Fame early on and then went to a big event center outside Nashville for the wedding and reception.
Haley looked beautiful, She cried, Alex cried, I almost got stung by a wasp, Wanda cried. Paul was quiet for once. A beautiful service, they were married! and the party started with a few hundred guests. A sit down dinner, then the music started and the drinks flowed. It was great until Mr. Tightwad cut us off at 10:30. There was still whiskey left!
I have made this short but it truly was great. The rehearsal dinner, the wedding, the party, the whole atmosphere and all of Alex's friends and family were super nice.
Congratulations to Alex and Haley Boyd on your new life together. See you at camp!

Howell Open 2018 Results

Another Howell Open, another trophy on my desk. I'm running out of room. Julyy 1 the Howell Open was played and the winners were the team of Steven Hill, John Bullion, Ellis (he only has one name), and your friendly neighborhood golf pro and blogger, Rex Howell

2nd place went to Mr. Silver himself (Bebo Howell)and his daughter Leslie Howell along with Trent Howell and Larry Trent  (a miracle)



The third and fourth place teams are not mentioned as they are abject losers and no one cares or wants to ever know anything about them (Pitiful) 

 

 Here is a pic of all the players. We had a great time and hope you will join us next year.

 

The Howell Open

The big tournament has arrived, where members of the Howell family do their best to crush each other in a twisted, barbaric, no holds barred Golf Tournament.
We will tee-off Sunday morning at 9 AM. Ambulances will be on site, and the pond will be checked for "stray" alligators early that morning.
Beverages will be served by the losers after the tournament, while the winners laugh and tell jokes.
No pressure on BETTY BULLION, the only hope for that side of the family.
As last years winner, I can only say Ha-Ha-Ha. I fully expect to win again, even though I am sure Trent and Bebo will stack the teams against me.
GOOD LUCK AND MAY BIRDIES ALWAYS BE IN YOUR FUTURE.

PS- The night tournament is Saturday night. A time for partying, drinking and playing golf at night.
What more could you want?

Bebo Shanked It

I was playing golf and looked up to see a truck on fire in the road that runs alongside the Golf Course in Water Valley. I raced my golf cart over to a group of golfers that were nearby observing and got the story of what happened.
Bebo had shanked his ball in some kind of shank, duck hook, busting through the window of the truck, knocking the driver out, and killing two chickens. The ball ping-ponged inside the cab, breaking the electronics out and setting the whole thing on fire.
Emergency crews, the police and fire department got to the scene quickly and everything turned out OK. I managed to ask Bebo what happened and he said , " I moved my hand a quarter inch to the right."

Small Hands, Big Fish

My brother James (with notoriously small hands) has been busy so far this summer building cabins near Oxford and chasing his new girlfriend, Debbie. I guess his poor bees will just have to survive as best they can, now that he has added grabbling to his list of activities too.
Last weekend James, Debbie, and their pals caught these. I feel a fish fry in my future.

Golf Camp 2018

Last weekend was the annual Golf Camp at the famous Christmas Place Deer and Birdie Club.
We had whiskey, we had great food, we had a campfire, we had crawfish and we had all the golf you could want. After playing with these chislers, I am happy to report I am richer and wiser.

Attending were Stewart "Deep Woods" Allen, Mike "Blind Dog" Edwards, W.G. "Bulldog" Griffin,
"Cowboy" Larry Trent, Paul "Big Talk" Howell,  Kenny "Wood Tick" Taylor, Trent "Lost Ball" Howell, Barry "Lost Clubs" Weeks, Bebo "Psycho" Howell, and your friendly neighborhood blogger and golf professional Rex "Cash" Howell

Spencer Rising (Graduation 2018)

This past Thursday, I took a long drive to the MS Gulf Coast to see the graduation of our own Spencer Howell from college. Amazing! Stupendous! Wonderful! Anytime one of our children graduates it feels like a miracle. I am very, very proud. He has come a long way and sometimes I can't believe he has grown into such a smart, intelligent young man. Sometimes I have to squint my eyes just to recognize him.
Then they showed me the list of his accomplishments and I said Spencer? Spencer Who?
I am very proud.

You can see his major in computer programming,  named Campus Activities Board President,
Sophomore Class Favorite, Vice Presidents List.
Also he received the honors of being inducted into the JD Campus Hall of Fame, Who's Who at MGCCC 2018, and MGCCC Hall of Fame.
He is also the winner of the prestigious Thunderhoof Scholarship which is the most important of course. Congratulations, Spencer I love you and everyone at camp wants to see you soon!

The Thunderhoof Band





Last night The Thunderhoof Band played in Oxford, MS at a fundraiser for the St. John's Church and helped raise about a Bazillion dollars for charity. Here is a picture of the band.
James, Debbie, Denise and Rex (Droptine) Howell
Not pictured is Thunderhoof (who was outside taking a potty break)
A good time was had by all!

BeeKeepers Can Hunt Too

Yes, I know that constant humming in their head can be a distraction, but every now and then.......

Trent's Answer

Trent has been terribly upset about the deer situation at the famous Christmas Place this year. He can't understand why he doesn't kill 3 gigantic trophy bucks every year. In fact, he only killed one this year. Boo-Hoo!! He has been studying though and has finally come up with the answer.
WE WILL FENCE THEM IN!!!!!
He has been working hard and has set up a new gate that will keep th0se pesky deer inside. BEHOLD!

Another great idea from my rocket scientist brothers.

We Give Paul The Bird

After months of griping about how he really needed to shoot a big deer (ha-ha) and continually crying about the magnificent deer that I shot. The members of the Christmas Place graciously decided to give Paul the whole Easter weekend for he and his family (yes, Mikey too) to see if he could possibly, by accident, kill a big turkey. Lo and Behold, we gave the bird to Paul!

Turk-Tock, Turk-Tock

We are into March and I thought I saw the sun shining for just a minute. It has rained, been warm, rained, turned cold, rained and rained some more. I am ready for sunshine, green grass, and pretty spring days. The good news is that turkey season is fast approaching and I will hopefully get my once a year shot at getting one. Meanwhile Satan and his coast minions are gearing up to invade the Christmas Place and blast enough turkeys for all my readers to have a nice Thanksgiving meal.
We will see.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Today is my 600th birthday, I mean 60th birthday. Planning on eating, drinking and partying until at least 10 o'clock tonight. I am a real party animal!
Thank you for the calls, messages and letters to help me celebrate this milestone in life and hope that I can keep blogging on. Oh, did I tell you about that big droptine buck I killed..........?????

is it me or am I beginning to look a lot like Othmar ?

 

Hog Camp 2018

We had a great time with about twenty gung-ho visitors at the Droptine Lodge this past weekend. The weather was absolutely beautiful and everyone seemed to have a great time. We only got two hogs, but spent a lot of time outside around the campfire enjoying great stories, tall tales, and having a few drinks. You missed a great time. Burney did a great job handling camp and I want to say Thank-You.

The Trap is Ready

Last weekend I went to camp with Burney and we got everything ready for the big hog hunt. We spread about a million pounds of corn, set up all the feeders and managed to tie at least a dozen hogs to trees to give the Lammey's at least a chance to kill a hog. Don't bet on it though
So everything is ready and we will be headed in to the Droptine Lodge on Friday.
Should be eventful.
PS Erin, this is what you are looking for.

Evil Dog Thread

2 weeks ago, Camo could not walk, barely ate and we knew that time had run out on her. This week the Evil Varmint is waltzing around, eating like a hog, barking at all hours of the night and in general being her old self.
Truth told, we came to realize she was being over medicated and now she is a million times better.
The last time she went to camp with me I shot the drop-tine buck, so she is pretty lucky for me too.
She still hates a deer, a hog, a bird, a squirrel, rabbit, turtle, snake, rhinoceros, Paul, Trent and a whole lot of other things, but I sure am glad she is back to her Evil Self.

The Hog Hunt is On!!

The first weekend in March is scheduled to be the Hog Hunt at the famous Christmas Place. Visitors will be coming from all over to stay at the comfortable and relaxing Droptine Lodge. There will be a bunch of Lammeys, (hide your whiskey) Matt the Banker (hide your wallet) a couple of shyster lawyers (hide everything else) and me your friendly neighborhood blogger and COTY award winner.
The Minnesota men should be there. (they speak in monosyllables, so prepare YUP!)
After a disastrous hog camp last year the hogs are back with a vengeance and it looks like we should kill plenty and only have a few coast morons gored to death. Should be a great weekend

Camper Of The Year

This past weekend I was officially named Camper Of The Year at the famous Christmas Place (again). My friend and fellow blogger Marian Love was flown in by private jet to award me with the skull mount of my BIG DROPTINE BUCK.
My evil brothers Paul and Trent cried, pulled their hair and had hissy fits (again). They called the Game and Fish commission to extend deer season a few months. They said no (again)
Burney whined about some 4-point he shot and spent the day sulking (again). Mark argued for some big hog he shot and was hooted off the stage (again) Michael, Spencer and Austin were doing millennial things and missed the last weekend (again)
I rode on Thunderhoof through the streets of Tchula in the parade as the crowd threw roses and chanted "Droptine, Droptine! (again)
And with all the accolades pouring in, I just try to be your humble and truthful neighborhood blogger (again)

A Smelly Conclusion

This was the last weekend of deer season at the famous Christmas Place and my brother Satan, no the other brother (Paul) was in a frenzy to get a big buck. Lot's of people believe it was a case of Droptine Envy. Paul ran white-eyed through every food plot, looked behind the barn, kicked every brush top, checked the bunk room, went all around the lake and still no big deer could be found for him to blast. Saturday night I heard him scream "Eureka! I know where he is!
The next morning when the big truck pulled in the yard, Paul went out to meet the driver wearing his insulated underwear, wool socks a red bandana and carrying his 7 MAG.
The terrified driver went to work and started emptying the septic tank while Paul kept his rifle aimed at it. When he was through and burned rubber out of the driveway, Paul stuck his head and a flashlight down in the hole. "Hellooo-lo-lo-o?"
No big buck was hiding in the septic tank and our dejected hunter went back into the Droptine Lodge to chew old bones.
No deer and a smelly conclusion to our Deer Season.

Gone With The Rut

This past weekend at the famous Christmas Place, the weather submitted and we had excellent temperature to hunt in. Unfortunately, it seemed as if all the deer had just disappeared. Maybe they are hibernating? The woods seemed empty. No deer, no hogs, no rhinoceroses, nothing. Paul almost went crazy. There is one weekend left of deer season. Hopefully Spring and Golf will be here soon.

A Cold Deer For Tim

It was cold, so cold that I had given up and was just praying for dark so that I could get the hell back to our warm cabin. 15 minutes before pitch dark a shot rang out. That couldn't be Tim Crosby, I figured he had already frozen to death. I met him at the Levee Stand a few minutes later and he was as proud as could be. He made a long shot and dropped the big 7 point at about 175 yards.
A damn fine shot in freezing temps and a 20 mph wind.
Burney had shot a pig and we got a pic of those two morons together