Deer Camp Blog

Deer Camp Blog- the outdoor column of The Bodock Times- (a satirical periodical) Humor and Hunting at the famous Christmas Place Plantation Hunting Club on the edge of the Mississippi Delta

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Wednesday, April 05, 2006

The Adventures of Remo Jones


THE ADVENTURE BEGINS
DOEVILLE,MS> GREG (REMO) JONES SPOTTED THE EVIL DOE AS IT CREPT SINISTERLY INTO THE FIELD. HE PULLED HIS RIFLE AROUND AND LAID HIS 9 X 83 SUPER SONIC SCOPE WITH THE EXTRA LARGE CROSSHAIRS ON THE EVIL CREATURE. HE FLIPPED THE SAFETY OFF OF HIS .480 ARMOR PIERCING DOUBLE OUGHT WINCHESTER MAGNUM ELEPHANT AND OR GORILLA SUPER SNIPER RIFLE. (WITH A COMPASS IN THE STOCK). HE TOOK DEADLY AIM. BOOM! THE RIFLE ROARED, THE EVIL DOE FLIPPED AND MADE A DASH FOR SAFETY, BLOOD SPURTED! BOOM! THE DEADLY MAGNUM ROARED AGAIN, THE EVIL DOE WAS WOUNDED BUT THE VILE CREATURE CONTINUED TO LIMP TOWARD THE WOODS. MR. JONES JACKED ANOTHER BALLISTIC TIP MINI NUKE SHELL INTO THE SMOKING RIFLE. BOOM! THE DOE FLIPPED AGAIN AS IT ENTERED THE WOODS.
THE EVIL DOE ESCAPED (THOUGH MORTALLY WOUNDED THROUGH THE TOENAIL)
IN MR. JONES DEFENSE, THE AIR WAS COLD (65 DEGREES),
THE WEATHER WAS HORRIBLE (SUNNY AND CLEAR), THE
HURRICANE WINDS WERE AT 2 MPH. AND HE HAD NOT HAD A STEADYING DRINK ALL AFTERNOON. MR. JONES HEADED TO CAMP IN THE DUSKY DUSK OF THE DUSKY TWILIGHT.

REMO JONES
THE ADVENTURE CONTINUES
BIGBUCK, MS> GREG (REMO) JONES FELT LIKE CRAP. THE DOE AT THE NORTH CORNFIELD HAD ESCAPED AND IT LEFT A TERRIBLE FEELING IN HIS STOMACH. MR. JONES LOOKED DOWN AT THE BOTTLE OF FRENCH MUSTARD GREENS BRANDY AND SQUINTED HIS EYES ,DETERMINED TO NOT TAKE A DRINK TILL HE FINALLY KILLED A DEER. HE STUFFED THE BOTTLE INTO HIS PACK AND LEFT FOR THE #1 FIELD READY TO FINISH THE JOB.
THE RULES WERE GET A DOE FIRST, THEN YOU CAN SHOOT A BUCK. HOURS LATER, HE HEARD THE DEER MOVING THROUGH THE BRUSH. MR. JONES TURNED TO GET READY FOR THE DOE AND SUDDENLY, HUGE ANTLERS! A TREMENDOUS 10 POINT WALKED INTO THE FIELD. IT LAZILY AMBLED TOWARD HIM. DID I MENTION THE HUGE ANTLERS? 30 YARDS, 20 YARDS. IT STOPPED. IT LOOKED DIRECTLY AT HIM. IT WINKED ONE EYE. THEN THE MONSTER BUCK AMBLED SLOWLY OFF INTO THE WOODS. MR. JONES SAT PALE AND STRICKEN. FINALLY HE RIPPED OPEN HIS PACK AND DRANK THE ENTIRE BOTTLE OF BRANDY, PUT HIS HANDS ON HIS EYES, AND HUNG HIS HEAD DOWN TILL THE DUSKY DUSK OF DARK.

2 Comments:

At 1:29 PM, Anonymous baby huey said...

what does remo mean?

 
At 10:27 AM, Blogger Editor said...

A movie called Remo williams, The Adventure Begins. Good movie look it up

 

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