Wednesday, August 16, 2006

The Great Oil Lease Boondoggle


Total Confusion, MS> Rex Howell, a.k.a the Genius, had worked on the oil lease for the famous Christmas Place Oil Field for over a year. Everyone wanted the money, but lack of cooperation had made an easy profit making proposition into a back burner item. Then two men wearing old overalls,rolex watches and caps with sawdust on them approached Hershel Howell about leasing the mineral rights to the property. Hell, it was on then! All work stopped as Hershel debated the contract the men offered. Rex, a.k.a. idiot boy, listened in disbelief as the contract was debated between Hershel (the brilliant), Trent (the enlightened) and Paul (the brain). Much scratching of clauses and brilliant ideas were discussed between these rocket scientist until all the members at camp and friends wanted to put their two cents into refining the contract too. When it was over, these are the important parts added to the contract.
1. Trent-Keep your damn oil rigs out of the food plots.
2. Trent-No drilling or disturbing the deer between Sept 1 and Feb 1.
3. Paul-All oil derricks must come equipped with a shooting house attached.
4. Hershel-No drilling in Hershels garden.
5. Rex-We all want a rolex too!
6. Barry Weeks- No disturbing nesting eagles or condors
7. Greg- if you hit a gusher of beer, call me
8. Joe Black- (we think his ideas were written in Chinese, so we deleted them)
9. Bobby- What about my land?
10. Burney- stay away from the point stand!
11. Paul- special viewing area to be set aside so my rich coast friends can
watch the damn thing pump.
12. Hershel- all members must call me Mr. Oil Baron
13. Paul- me too!
14. Thunderhoof- all derricks must be high grade steel to that I can sharpen my horns on them.
15. Paul- I need a gold plated 4 wheeler
16. Trent- no railroad spurs on property
17. Rex- call me when you tear this crazy contract up.
As you can see, we might have a problem.