Thursday, August 31, 2006

New Hunting Regs Confuse Members

Stooges, MS> New hunting regulations released by the MDWPF have confused the hunters at the Christmas Place Mensa Institute of Hunting.

Residents who are blind, paraplegic, a multiple-amputee, adjudged totally disabled by the Social Security Administration or totally service connected disabled by the Veterans Administration are not required to purchase a HUNTING OR FISHING LICENSE. [MS. Code 49-7-5 and 49-7-9]. Residents exempt based on this criteria are required to have proof of their age, residency, disability status or other physical impairment in their possession while engaged in hunting and fishing activities. All exempt licenses previously issued for DISABILITIES are null and void.

According to state regulations, if you are blind or disabled you do not need a hunting license. If you are blind and a quadriplegic, you do not need a license and they supply the deer, if you are a blind, quadriplegic, black oriental woman with children, hell, the sky is the limit. No bag limit! yahoo!!

Members at the famous Christmas Place rushed to their Social Security office to register for free hunting licenses.
Hershel Howell reported that he was blind and disabled after missing a giant deer at 40 yards last year.( Approved!) Trent Howell was sight challenged and getting old which was shown by his shaky shooting last year.(Rejected)The Social Security people took one look at Bobby and rubber stamped his status as feeble, pitiful and impaired. Paul Howell tried to speak Chinese and was thrown out even though it ruined his dress. Burney tried every trick he knew to get a free hunting license and failed. He suddenly had an inspiration! He fell over and tried playing dead but to no avail, the people at the Social Security Office caught him breathing and threw him out. Mr. Jones rushed in, explained about the terrible shaking he felt every time he saw a buck, took his hat off swore he was hair challenged, and drank turpentine for his condition. He was thrown out even though he offered everyone a drink of turpentine. Mark Stewart stepped to the desk, said he was from Memphis and could they have pity on him. (Rejected) Rex Howell (champion of justice) watched these losers and returned to camp. Paul quickly tried to change the rules so that if you were a female impersonator from the coast you could shoot two more bucks a year. Members booed and said no and he wasn't pretty either.
It is going to be a long season.

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