Shooting Lessons for Simpletons

REMEDIAL SHOOTING LESSONS PLANNED
GLASS EYE, MS> THE MEMBERS OF THE FAMOUS WOUND AND RELEASE CHRISTMAS PLACE CLUB ARE EXPECTING A
LARGE TURNOUT FOR THE REMEDIAL SHOOTING SESSIONS
PLANNED THIS SUMMER AND PUT ON BY THE NEWEST BUCKMASTER, MR. MARK (DEADEYE) STEWART.
HERSHEL HOWELL, TRENT HOWELL AND GREG JONES HAVE
ALREADY MAILED IN THEIR APPLICATION AND ARE EAGERLY AWAITING MR. STEWARTS APPEARANCE.
THE LESSON WILL INCLUDE TYING A GOAT TO A TREE AT
THIRTY YARDS WITH A LARGE BULLSEYE PAINTED ON ITS’ SIDE THAT WILL BE BLASTED AT BY THESE SO-CALLED HUNTERS UNTIL THEY AT LEAST WOUND THE ANIMAL.
SESSIONS COULD LAST UP TO TWO HOURS WITH MR.
STEWART SUPERVISING AND SHOWING THE HUNTERS
FUNDAMENTALS LIKE:
1. LOCATING SCOPE ON RIFLE
2. HOW TO LOOK THROUGH SCOPE
3. FIGURING OUT WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE LOOKING AT IN SCOPE.
4. LOCATING AND TURNING SAFETY BUTTON
5. IS YOUR GUN LOADED?
6. CROSSHAIRS? WHAT ARE THEY AND WHAT DO THEY WANT?
7. BREATHING TECHNIQUES FOR DUMMIES
8. THE TRIGGER- SQUEEZING NOT PULLING
9. THE SECOND AND THIRD SHOT.
THIS IS FOR LOSERS LIKE JONES AND TRENT
10. DINNER WILL BE FRESH GOAT MEAT AFTER MARK
MERCIFULLY SHOOTS THE GOAT AFTER THE LESSON.