The Deer Potion

He moved hesitantly through the dark streets deep in the French Quarter of New Orleans. The man stopped frequently to check addresses against the tiny piece of paper in his hand.
Finally, he stopped in front of a large house that was set back from the street and checked the address again. The rambling old home was surrounded by a thick grove of old Cedar and Magnolia trees that hid it from the street. He stared up the crumbling sidewalk and could just see a gleam of light under a pulled blind and a small neon glow near the front door. He put the paper in his pocket, squared his shoulders and slowly eased up toward the house.

He looked at the neon sign and rang the bell. It was opened by a beautiful gypsy woman in a flowing gown that smiled and led him into a dark room with a lighted crystal ball. He sat on one side and she sat on the other as he laid the money on the table and said " My name is Paul Howell and I'm a flop with deer."


I took my troubles down to Madame Rue
You know that gypsy with the gold-capped tooth.
She's got a pad down on Thirty-Fourth and Vine
Sellin' little bottles of Deer Potion Number Nine
I told her that I was a flop with Deer
I've been this way since I've been hunting here
She looked at my palm and she made a magic sign
She said "What you need is Deer Potion Number Nine"

She bent down and turned around and gave me a wink
She said "I'm gonna make it up right here in the sink"
It smelled like turpentine, it looked like Indian ink
I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink
I didn't know if it was day or night
I started shootin' everything in sight
But when I shot a cow down at Thirty-Fourth and Vine
They broke my little bottle of Deer Potion Number Nine

(instrumental break)
I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink
I didn't know if it was day or night
I started shootin' everything in sight
But when I shot a cow down on Thirty-Fourth and Vine
They broke my little bottle of Deer Potion Number Nine
Deer Potion Number Nine, Deer Potion Number Nine, Deer Potion Number Nine

Someone changed up the words and made a song out of it, but you know the real words now.