Deer Camp Blog

Deer Camp Blog- the outdoor column of The Bodock Times- (a satirical periodical) Humor and Hunting at the famous Christmas Place Plantation Hunting Club on the edge of the Mississippi Delta

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Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving Deer Day!!

Hungry Pilgrim, MS> The Howell Clan is packing up and heading to the famous Christmas Place for our annual Thanksgiving. The Howells' are mostly thankful that they get to hunt for four days without being bothered. The men spend four days hunting and drinking whiskey while the women take care of everything, especially the gigantic feast on Thursday afternoon. Wanda usually brings a giant Turducken and all the trimmings.
This year we are having a twist on turducken, we are having
*************THANKSGIVING MENU************
TURDUCKHOGALLIDEERDILLOWHEN
THIS RARE DELICACY IS SPENCER, ERIN AND SARAHS FAVORITE.
TAKE ONE OF THE TURKEYS DAD SHOOTS, STUFF IT DOWN THE
MOUTH OF A DUCK, TAKE THE DUCK AND SHOVE IT UP A WILD HOGS BUTT, TAKE THE HOG AND STUFF DEEP INSIDE AN ALLIGATOR, BE CAREFUL HERE!, TAKE THE ALLIGATOR AND STUFF IT INSIDE A BIG HORNED DEER, (REMOVE HORNS FOR COOKING) CRAM INSIDE AN ARMADILLO, THEN TAKE THE WHOLD GIANT THING, GRAB A CHICKEN AND FORCE IT DOWN IT’S THROAT. COOK AT 500 DEGREES FOR EIGHT HOURS.
BE CAREFUL CUTTING, IT COULD EXPLODE.
SIDE DISHES WILL BE GREENS, TOMATOS, GREENS, ARTICHOKES AND GREENS. WE WOULD HAVE VENISON (DEER MEAT) IF WE HAD ANY HUNTERS WORTH A DAMN IN OUR CAMP!
VISITOR NOTESGUEST LOOKING TO COME TO THE CHRISTMAS PLACE ARE EXPECTED TO HELP WITH COOKING, CLEANING, PUTTING UP STANDS FOR PAUL, STAYING THE HELL AWAY FROM TRENT AND NOT KILLING ANY DEER.
COOKING NOTES
IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE, STAY THE HELL OUT OF THE KITCHEN. WANDA IS LIKE A MAD RED WASP WHILE SHE IS PUTTING THE MEAL TOGETHER. A DASH OF SPICES, A DRINK OF SHERRY, A DASH OF PEPPER, A GULP OF WINE, SHE HAS A GIANT WOODEN SPOON THAT SHE WHACKS PEOPLE WITH TO GET THEIR ATTENTION (IF THEY ARE NOT MOVING FAST ENOUGH TO SUIT HER). I PITY THE FOOL THAT STEPS TOO CLOSE TO THE KITCHEN.

1 Comments:

At 11:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thunderhoof texted me again. He suggested that if the Christmas Place hunting and drinking club were going to kill any big bucks they should recruit some hunters from the Baton Rouge area.

 

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