The Masters

Duck Hook, MS> Greg Jones aka Old Scratch calls me every damn day. "Hey! Did I mention I have Masters tickets?" or " Too bad, I have Masters tickets and you don't" or "BWAHAHAHA!
I'm going to the Masters and you suck." Greg and Lawrence Perkins are going over for the practice rounds. Hope he has a great time, walking those hallowed fairways, chatting with Jack and the boys, hobnobbing with the rich folks and being a dapper dude in his white golf shoes. Damn! Even the practice rounds would be the experience of a lifetime. Double Damn!
Meanwhile, Did I mention that I was guest blogging at the Black Bear Blog this Sunday at 11AM?

Saturday Morning TV

Remember as a kid, spending part of Saturday watching the old movies of Jungle Jim and Tarzan. Little did I know they were based on the true adventures of a real Ape Man of Africa.
Running through the jungle, whipping lions, crocodiles, evil hunters and pissed off natives.He is always chasing a scantily clad woman (the cats' mother), talking to monkeys and lives in a treehouse (with Internet access)
This is the life of Keeszan.

From the Frozen Plains

West Fargo, ND> After several humorous exchanges of good natured repartee' a very smart fellow from North Dakota has linked with me. He is a biologist named Doug Leier and has his finger on the pulse of the plains and beyond. He is blogging at
North Dakota Outdoors and Beyond, naturally!
Dougs' site seems a cross between The Outdoor Pressroom and The Black Bear Blog, which means he is pretty damn sharp and a very good read.
He has lots of interesting hunting news, tidbits, state proposals and a little humor mixed in.
He even has a housewarming gift for Othmar. Go visit, say hello, I guarantee you will learn something new.

It's Fishing Season Again!

An industrious pair of bloggers from Virginia, with some Bright Ideas, recently sent me a couple of new fishing rods to test. I took them out on the lake at the famous Christmas Place and caught a boatload of fish. They didn't even break when I used them to beat the fish away from the boat. The new bio rod works great!

A Meeting With The Shadow

Abbeville, MS> Several years ago, when we still hunted near Abbeville, we found a great place to hunt east of the railroad in a very hard to reach area.
My father, Hershel, went into this area and built 4 stands in this hidden spot along a narrow sand ditch that wound under the Railroad tracks and down to a small pond.
Going in, we drove a mile along old rutted roads we had cleared, hiked a few hundred yards to the railroad, went up that about 100 yards, then slid down the bank to the creek.
This turned out to be a fabulous bow hunting spot, and it wasn’t long till we realized that a gigantic and cunning buck lived there.
Everyone that hunted there had a chance to see the gigantic buck at least once, but he was so smart and clever that the dark colored and tremendous 10-point, could almost sense you and could disappear like a shadow. So his name was born and we told tales and hunted him for years with no success.
This little story is about my meeting with The Shadow.
The end of the sand ditch emptied into a small pond that I liked to hunt. My stand was in a tree that leaned out over the water and deer watered there almost everyday.
It was about 8:00 on a bright, sunny and still day when I heard the deer hit the ditch about 40 yards behind me. It got quiet for a long time as I eased around and got ready to shoot.
We used recurve bows back then and spent a large part of each summer shooting at targets. I felt confident in my ability to shoot a deer. I wasn’t ready for what happened next.
The nice 8-point eased into the opening at 25 yards. The trail would move the deer to about 20 yards. Perfect as I prepared to shoot.
Another buck popped out, a nice 6-point. I glanced at it and just before I pulled back my bow, a small buck and a really big 8-point stepped out behind the other two. I had more bucks under me than I had ever seen in my whole life. I pulled back the arrow.
Whoooshhh! The arrow went right under the first 8-point.
The deer jumped around and then all froze. Grabbing another arrow I aimed at the closest deer in the group..
Whoooshhh! The arrow cut right in front of the 6-point.
Deer started to jump around again as I grabbed my last hunting arrow. The first 8-point had seen enough and broke for heavy cover, The other three were milling around and the 6 point sniffed my arrow. It took off, followed by the small buck. The big 8-point started past me picking up steam as it moved up the trail.
Whoooshhh! The arrow sailed right over it’s back. The deer were all gone. It grew quiet as they disappeared and I felt terrible. A herd of bucks and I had run out of arrows. I got down and walked over to look for my arrows. I searched for a few minutes and located an arrow. Before I could pull it out of the grass, a strange feeling hit me and I looked up.
Not twenty feet away in the middle of the trail, watching me, stood the biggest buck I had ever imagined. During all the action this buck had stood statue still just inside the thick trees and had waited to see the danger. I straightened as I caught the bucks eyes.
The huge, heavy horned buck did not run, he turned and stepped back into the ditch and disappeared like a wisp of smoke. He did not make a sound, not a leaf or limb cracked, no white flag bounded away, he disappeared like a Shadow.

Pics to Contemplate

Our old camp at Hamburg, just a little ways from Natchez. We had bought 1000 acres there and it was fun hunting. The property was just too far to use like we wanted.



Rena and Paul Jones working on their fishing gear. Mostly we use jigs. Rena is having her birthday, the first weekend in May and we want to have a big fish fry up at the lake. Y'all try to make it!



Marian has posted some pics of the big deer she has taken over the years. How can she look so beautiful in the woods?

Did I mention that I am guest blogging at the Black Bear Blog at 11AM Sunday? First place prize is an autographed copy of Tom Remingtons book!
Not really, but maybe he will send me one if I do a good job anyway.

Late Night Movies

for the kiddies
White Whale, MS> Last weekend the weather was just too warm at the famous Christmas Place and I could not sleep. I got up about 2 in the morning and went in to watch TV. The great old movie, Moby Dick, was coming on. I had not seen it in years.
Just then there was a tap on the big window beside the couch. I opened it and Thunderhoof stuck his head in. During deer season we are deadly enemies but during the summer we are best friends. Thunderhoof thinks that is quite humorous for some reason. I got up, made some popcorn and Thunderhoof, Camo and I watched the search for the white whale. After it was over we thought we could do better so here is our version.
Moby Buck
Trent (Captain Ahab)- I hates a white buck
Rex- (Ishmail) Thar he blows!
Paul- (Queeguig) I’m gonna blast his arse!
Bobby (Carpenter) you want that coffin to go?
Burney (1st Mate) full speed ahead!
Trent (Captain Ahab) Take that, you wascally buck!
Rex (Ishmail)- Run for your lives!
Thunderhoof (Moby Buck) ARGHHHHH!
Paul- (Queequig) BLAM, BLAM, click, oh Shit!
Bobby (carpenter) you want that coffin to go?
Burney (1st mate) that’s unexpected!!
Thunderhoof (Moby Buck) ARRGGHHH!
Trent (Captain Ahab) Gurgle! Gurgle!
Rex (Ishmail) mind if I borrow that coffin
Paul (Queequig) Gurgle!, Gurgle!
Bobby (carpenter) Gurgle, you want Gurgle to go?
Burney(1st mate) exit stage right, Gurgle!
Thunderhoof ( Moby Buck) ARRRGHHHH!
Rex (Ishmail) Who’s going to read the Bodock Times now?

Cool Pics From Peru

Lima, Peru> I received these interesting pics yesterday from Ivan. He says that they have Whitetail deer and Red Deer where he hunts. The area ranges from steep mountains to dense jungle and you have to be in good shape to traipse around hunting. Ivan has a good blog going and some interesting articles with it.
Now that is a really cool picture! Hope he will send pics of the deer they have taken.


They have a wide variety of animals in the area and he sent several other pictures also. This is a Sachabaca. Phillip would shoot this thing instantly, on the grounds that it looked suspicious.


I questioned him about the deer and he said that the whitetails are smaller than in our area. I think that the Croc-o-Gators ate all the Stupid Mule Deer.

A Meme from KeesKennis

KeesKennis Meme
alphabetical order of jobs you’ve been paid for
A- Appraiser
B- Broker
C- Carwash attendant and owner
D- Dynamite Expert from blowing beaver dams in Miller Lake
E- Editor of this blog, it doesn’t pay much
F- Flunky to several people who knew what they were doing
G- Gas pump jockey
H- Hunting expert- see E above
I- Inspector for propane company
J- junk hauler, copper etc
K- Kid care and camp couselor
L- Lawn care, cutting grass??
M- moving service, I still hate moving to this day
N- Night clerk
O- Oil Company director
P- Property manager, buy, sell trade!
Q- Quick Sale Foreclosures!
R- Remodeling old homes
S- Secretary for a short stint
T- Truck driver for gasoline company
U- Underpads for carpets (Bondafoam)
V- Volunteer subject for Psychology Experiments. Weird!
W- Warehouses/ Metal building construction
X- Xtra credit advisor
Y- Yuppie, college loafer
Z- Zucchini picker, tomatos, beans, peas

Fish City

Flapping Gills, MS> This weekend we were surprised to see Trent and Shelley had come down to fish. Saturday afternoon Shelley caught the most!


That night Denise, Trent, Shelley and I drove over to Belzoni to eat catfish while Dad stayed at the camp with Trigger and Camo. We ate at a little place called The Varsity. The food was very good and the bill was very small. We had a good time and headed back to camp


The next day Dad saw 5 turkeys while hunting that morning, but none were big enough to shoot. Later Ms. Rena came over and she and Dad hit the lake for a fishing trip.


Trigger joined them too!




They caught 37 fish (mostly crappie) in a little less than 2 hours! GuyK would go crazy fishing here!
Later Denise, Camo and I took the metal detector and started along the bottom of the bluff below the Indian Mound. Camo looked for squirrels and chipmunks.








We did not find anything except for some old pieces of iron. I think we have to get used to the detector before we can really get good at this.When Cookie comes over, I want to be ready so we can finally find that Cannon Barrel Full of Gold.

Back From My Hideout

Hidden Cave, MS> I made it back from camp today. Another great trip but the expert tracker KeesKennis did catch up with me. I had to make a deal and make it fast. Those guys from Africa only carry elephant guns!
First I had to split the reward with him.
Second, I had to invite all of the Yeti Conspiracists to the camp to fish and arrange it so that Cookie could whip up his favorite dish of Wolfman Stew.
Third, I had to agree to blog over at the Black Bear Blog next Sunday.
It should be fun. Hope I can find something interesting to post. Hmmmmmm.

The Hole in the Horn Gang

Jackson Hole, MS> So now I am a wanted man and am sneaking out of here to get to the Infamous Outlaw Christmas Place to meet my gang.
Sheriff KeesKennis is sending wanted posters to all of the members of the Yeti Conspiracy, Interpol, DOJ, CIA, FBI and NSA. I feel the walls closing in.
KeesKennis is closing in and everyone knows those bushmen can track anything.
If he gets too close, maybe I can distract him with a turkey call or better yet, stab him with a shed antler. THEY WON"T GET ME ALIVE! BWAAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Of course, I could always buy a crossbow and move to Peru with Ivan.

Friday Follow-Ups

Here is a copy of the official letter given to Mr. Bright acknowledging his world record. Note that it shows length and girth as well.





Here is a pic of Dad in our cornfields a couple of years ago. The corn gets 10-12 feet tall and can hide about a billion deer.





It looks like the only way Paul or Trent is ever going to get a big deer is to attend an auction and buy one!




I am still working on deciphering the Strange Rock Carvings I know there is a hidden treasure waiting to be found!








I also need to get my Pontoon boat, The Othmar, into the water.

The Crossbow Hunters of Peru

A new link to a man dedicated to crossbow hunting in his native Peru. His name is Ivan Bancovitch and it is great to know that hunting bloggers from all over the world want to see each others work and share the hunting spirit.
He uses a 175lb. Horton HD Hunter Crossbow. Should do some serious damage to deer, hogs or even brick walls. That is some firepower! Go visit his site It is
Asociación de Caza con Ballesta del Perú
I saved it translated, and leave him a friendly comment saying hello.

WORLD RECORD CRAPPIE

Water Valley, MS> This small, sleepy, little town in north Mississippi is not famous for much. Mostly watermelons and our annual Watermelon Carnival. The dogwoods are blooming, the weather is beautiful and this time of year is the start of Crappie season here and everyone knows what this old town is really famous for. Water Valley is the home of the
#1 WORLD RECORD CRAPPIE.
This white crappie was caught by Mr. Fred Bright on July 31st, 1957 on Enid Lake and is still the world record.



I went down to the Mayors' office and had this picture taken. It is a very impressive fish. The mount is from the fifties and is old and worn. At best it needs to be repainted. I am going to contact a good taxidermist to see if he can restore it.

Blog Action

Want to say hi to a new link. He is the FatHairyBastard. Known as FHB from now on. He is a hiker and adventurer. Rafting the Colorado, exploring the Grand Canyon and places in between. He has lots of interesting guns of all sorts that he buys, shoots and trades. Go take a look.
In other news, Steven Kendus is Crow Blogging My friend Hoka-Shay-Honaqut has a video of a live demonstation of an ancient punt gun over at Deer, Fish, Cards and miracles of miracles, Jim at Sportsmans Blog has actually made a post. He is showing off his deer stand, I think.

Harvest Sheet 2006-07

The Yeti Conspiracy

Swamp Creature, MS> After my amazing find and reporting of a giant Bigfoot nest in a recent post, I was overwhelmed with emails wanting to know the exact geo-coordinates to the find, how much he weighed and which direction did he run. Most of these emails were from hunting bloggers and wild game chefs. Hmmm? What was that all about?
I put the crack team of investigative journalist at the Bodock Times to work. What we found out will amaze and disturb you. Read the rest with caution!
What was going on? I put the names of all the bloggers, their URL's and zodiac sign into Google and the shadows of a strange conspiracy started to emerge. A network of so-called bloggers with a hidden and evil agenda. My computer whirled, smoked, chugged and finally one name and one webpage came out. Steve Remington at Skinny Moose Media. Ah-Hah! The mastermind of these nefarious criminals! He runs the Skinny Moose Media. And why is that moose so skinny? I have the answer.
My expert computer techies cracked the encryption on his email and we have the truth!
These hungry bloggers are systematically collecting and making gourmet meals of all of the last remaining unusual, exotic and strange creatures on the planet! More Google and I found two unscrupulous chefs involved in this enterprise. Cookie from The Cook Shack and Frank at My Mans’ Man.They have thousands of recipes. Martians, Bigfoot, Dinosaurs, Lake Monsters, you name it, there is a recipe for it. Now that I have exposed them, maybe Cookie will finally give up his recipes for Bigfoot-au-Gratin.
What are Othmar and Bill Anderson doing in the frozen tundra? Who do you think digs up the frozen mammoths and cuts steaks off of them? They also know that Godzilla is in the ice up there somewhere too!
Mr. Remington has that Nutria guy down in Louisiana frantically looking for the Honey Island Monster.

Even my friend Steve at the Shed Antler is in on it. Anyone Seen the Boggy Creek Monster in the last 10 years? No? He’s a goner! Boggy-Bar-B-Que!
The Hog Guy, Phillip, is hunting hogs in California. HA! Everyone knows that no one hunts in California. Hell you can’t even buy a gun there! So what is he doing?
Searching for and blasting the last of the Bigfoot, Bigfoots, er.. Bigfeets! He got the Abominable Snowman last year. Want some? $8000 a slice.
And what about those Bright Idea guys, and what the hell is a bio rod for. I know. Right now those two are casting for Champ, the sea monster of Lake Champlain. Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster, they caught her four years ago. Sushi at $20,000 a plate.

More facts you say! It took 6 hours to land that Creature from the Black Lagoon. They all agreed it tasted like chicken.
Wolfman- eaten in 1969, The Chupacabra was served with rice, The last Thunderbird- served in 1983 with cole slaw. Some guy with the codename Moose has been busy.
You think the dinosaurs are extinct? I don’t think so. A certain African blogger named KeesKennis has them on a game ranch down there. He sends pics to all his hungry cronies. Dodo birds, he got ‘em! Tyranosaurs, Triceratops, he got ‘em.

These bloggers have the world covered and are continually searching for strange beast to serve their well paying guest. Who are they? Zillionaires of course, like Rod Storrs or Paul Howell, Jim Braaten and the Fat Hairy Bastard, all politely plump at this time.
Go to Skinny Moose, the damn thing gains weight as the month goes by. When it burps, that means the dinner will be served that night in their secret dining room. Now that I have exposed this conspiracy, hurry and send money here for the Bigfoot Preservation Fund. Twenties, fifties and hundreds are all accepted. Save the Bigfoots!

Wild Turkey Facts

Double Gobble, MS> Here are some interesting and useless wild turkey facts for you to stick in the back of your brain, just in case some smart-aleck asks.
The longest recorded beard on a harvested wild turkey is 18.152 inches. This turkey was taken by Robert Tremblay in King George, VA 5/2/1998.
The heaviest wild turkey harvested weighed 37.125. This turkey was taken in Linn, OR by Jacob Braught on 4/15/2002.
The #1 ranked turkey was taken in Richland, WI on 4/19/1989 by John Fryatt. Score- 194
Some information you should remember is that if you see a turkey coming to you walking backwards, shoot ASAP.
Thanks to the National Wild Turkey Federation.

Pheasant Hunting Mt. Rushmore

Paul and Greg Jones managed to put together a great pheasant hunt a few years ago. Greg drove to South Dakota, while (of course)Paul flew in. They were ready for the hunt and of course it is easy to shoot pheasants. Everyone knows it is about like shooting a chicken. Paul was tired from settling cases and foreclosing on little old ladies and Jones is an insurance agent.

They needed some relaxation. They checked in to the famous Stroppel Inn
The old hotel is famous for it’s mineral waters and they both headed to the basement to enjoy the boiling waters. They went down the rickety stairs and Paul said he had second thoughts upon seeing it. The water was jet black in the creepy basement. It looked like a dungeon in a bad horror movie and it looked like any second a big hand was going to come up and pull you under the swirling and bubbling black water.
They made it through that and headed to the room, only to find that there was only one bed. They both ended up sleeping with their shotguns across their chests that night and the rest of the trip.
The next day they had a great hunt, with Paul and Greg dogging the birds out of the cuts. Beautiful weather and golden grassland, kept them gladly trekking the countryside. The hunting was absolutely fantastic!

After a few days of heavy hunting and much imbibing of alcohol they decided to take a break and ride up and see Mt. Rushmore. They borrowed an old pickup and up the highway they went. They zipped 100 miles across the most desolate place on earth (the Badlands). No cars, and no people on the road. They felt they were the only people within 100 miles! Cruising along, they came to a fork in the road and a big sign. One said Mt. Rushmore and an arrow, the other said Topless Casino and an arrow. Jones stomped the brakes and they slid to a stop in the middle of the road.
The story gets fuzzy here but it seemed there was much debate on what was the proper thing to do. Finally, Paul said “Jones, you do not want to see the topless woman at the nickel slots where you will be playing!” Jones thought about it a while and finally agreed and off to Mt. Rushmore they went. They pulled into the National Park, found a walking trail to a view, and studied the faces. It was interesting but soon Jones asked “Which one is Lee?”
Paul said “Uhh, I don’t think Lee is up there.”
Jones studied the faces for a moment and replied “I see, let’s get the hell out of here then” Just then, a giant squirrel jumped off a tree right beside them and Jones lunged for the truck and his shotgun.
Paul screamed “If you shoot in this national park and the nose falls off Lincoln every G-man in the state is going to pounce on our ass and we might just be in big trouble.” “Damn! 911 was just last month.”
Jones reluctantly put his shotgun away as the squirrel escaped and they headed south. They had a great hunt,killed lots of pheasants, and enjoyed all the splendor of the state. We will never know what really happened when the old truck slid to a stop in front of that sign. They are sticking to their story. Truly, a great time with the wonderful people of South Dakota.

Turkey Season Opener

Cluck Putt, MS> This weekend was the opener for turkey season and even though we did not get a turkey, everyone heard or saw turkeys. It will get a whole lot better very fast. Of course, it might be the hunters were that sorry. Pictured (standing) Ryan and myself. (sitting) my Dad Hershel, Rod Storrs and my brother Paul. Trigger the turkey dog is keeping an eye on things.
We burned and purged the new grill and Burney cooked our first wild hog on it. This was absolutely delicious. Phillip would have gone more berserk than he already is!
Of course, we had to move the cooker around a few more times under Dads' directions but the food was worth it.

Later, we went down to the edge of the creek where I had discovered something very strange. A Bigfoot nest! It is about 6-7 feet long and all the grass around it had been cleared to make the nest. It was about 6 inches high. You could see where something had been lying in it. The hog guy might be the only person besides Dad that would really know what it is.

We also had to drain Dads' pond while he had some help. Thank goodness, Paul could not get out of helping. We are draining it to plant millet after it dries. We hope to get some ducks in there for next season. no turkeys, but a fun time was had by all. Maybe Othmar will make it down soon, of course he may be a-feared of Bigfoot!

Back to Meet New Friends

Got back from camp this afternoon. No,no damn turkeys! We heard several gobble but my friend Rod Storrs thinks that they are hanging close to their hens for a couple of more weeks. Still, we had another great time. Rod is witty, charming and can tell a funny story. He has always been a joy to be around and I was glad I invited him down. He promised to help Spencer bag his first turkey and I am going to hold him to it.
Got a reply email from Cliff over at Hunting Sense and am going to add him to my sidebar. He is up in Ontario and has a well written and informative hunting blog that everyone should check out. I don't think he cared for my Mancation post though. Next time I see my brother I will slap him for you, Cliff.
Another site that has linked me is Tom James Virginia Outdoors. I was surprised and pleased that he had linked me and I am adding him too. After all, he is the first person to link me that I have not had to beg or pay. He is a taxidermist and has a lot of interesting pictures on his many blogs. Welcome!

Man-cation

Double Bogey, Fl> Bill Howard and Mark Larson sent me the facts about the recent mancation that they shared with my brother Paul and a whole bunch of shanking losers from their college days. Before the match started, Mark had to call his broker to see just how much of that Hooters stock was available. He bought a truck full. Like taking candy from a baby!


Paul ended up having to call his broker too! He needed to know how much of his Microsoft stock he was going to have to sell to pay off his debts.




Bill was a little too busy rolling in those birdie putts to listen to those other idiots hooting and hollering. Another day on the links another fortune made!



Here are all the drunken reprobates from the Man-cation.
glen stone, mark larson,bill howard, bob shull,david hyde, paul howell,greg myers, nick zouboukos, jim hedges