Snowshoe, MI> While sleeping on the riverbank in Vicksburg, MS drunker than Cooter Brown. I had a strange dream, maybe a vision.
What a party, at least what I can remember. It was Friday afternoon when I arrived at the aptly named convention center, Lilly’s Gilded Pool Hall Emporium and Bar. Loud music met me at the door as I went in and ordered a drink at the bar.
Others came in and seemed to drift to their own tables. All the outdoor writers/bloggers like Dave Richey, David King, Claude Pollington, J.R. Absher, Brett French, Tom Remington and Jeff Murray and a host of others sat together drinking champagne and scribbling in their little notebooks. You need a notebook? Damn! The barmaids swooped around them and I realized they (of course) were the only ones making any money at blogging. The call came in and we all went into the main ballroom.
A great dinner! Cookie and my Dad served Deer and Elk tenderloin with all the trimmings. Mike had Mule Deer steaks and Bill and his Dad supplied fresh trout. Later, Steve was the master of Ceremonies and got right to it.
There were lots of awards for outdoor stuff like Writers, Photography, Layout, etc. Best Outdoor Blogger was, oh yeah, can’t tell you. Hey! I won for best Outdoor Humor Blog! Thunderhoof came in and gave a speech too! That really revved up the crowd!
Finally the floor was cleared and the music started with” The Five Howling Coyotes” Mike Clifford was wailing on the Sax, FHB on guitar, Norm was on the keyboard and Jannos worked those crazy African drums while Ivan sang "La Vida de Deerhunting"!
All the men flocked to Marian, Kristine, and Michelle in their sexy camo gowns.
Debbie, Rene, Libby and red hot Callie finally showed up too! The men cheered! The men also swarmed them like flies and the whisky flowed like water. Matt, Kevin and Tom started some strange Virginia Mountain jig while we were all dancing, sweating, drinking, and laughing. Then it got wild. Phillip decided to spice things up and turned a dozen wild hogs loose on the dance floor, Kees started wrestling the hogs which got everyone cheering, Then Steven, Dash and Bob started a target practice session with the bottles in the small cash bar. Robert used a shotgun!
The hotel employees ran for their lives! GuyK and EagleEye slipped out and started fishing for mermaids in the pool. Steve wandered past with a set of antlers on his head blowing a grunt call and then Bigfoot took the microphone and sang a solo. Someone opened a side door and all the hunting groupies flocked in. They were wearing We love Othmar t-shirts! They chased him all over the dance floor until he finally dived in the pool! The girls dived in after him! Boobies and Beer were everywhere! The women danced faster and a hell of a lot more provocatively. Pandemonium grew as the music got louder! The deep drums pounded! A fight broke out between the Wordpress people and the Blogger people. Thunderhoof shot by with 3 naked women on his back! Jon was trying to rope him or one of the girls, I couldn’t tell which. Goon, David and Skinner were watching the frolicking in the pool and decided to go skinny-dipping for the mermaids. A hell of a brawl ensued when someone got a bass plug hooked in their privates!
A balloon filled with deer lure flew by my head as Doug, Cliff, Craig and Moose started a free for all. They were acting like crazed Infidels or a Mohawk war party! Dazd was swinging from the chandelier while Jim got it all on video. Amazing!
I heard a siren and used my beer brains to duck under a table as the cops hammered in the door. Our whole blogging convention was toast! I’ve never seen so many Contrary People hauled off to the hoosegow as I snuck out on my hands and knees!
I hope someone kept Field Notes because it was a real Goshawk Adventure!
Everything started to kind of get Fuzzy and I
don’t remember much else but I woke up buck naked, covered in Kudzu in Emo, Ontario with a pink muumuu around my neck and a hat on that said Angel Feathers Tickle Me.
A major conference call about this shindig is tonight.
Will keep you informed!