Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Hillarys’ Armadillo Ordeal
Hillary was not much older than Erin (9) when this happened, and she really wanted to go see some deer. Her father, Paul (the clueless, thoughtless, selfish lawyer), said that he would be glad to take her and put her on a stand that afternoon. She was excited and got dressed.
Paul loaded her on the 4-wheeler and took her across the property to a stand called the Bird Point. A nice field seldom hunted that was perfect for watching deer. He helped her up in her stand and told her that he would be back at dark to get her. She settled in.
Everything is perfect you think. Hillary is having a good time enjoying the nice afternoon, she sees a couple of deer, and everything is great! Then the sun starts going down.
Paul is a deer machine and when he goes to his stand he is going to stay there till the very last second. He even bought super duper binoculars that gives him an extra 30-40 minutes. So what if some kid he hardly knows has to stay in the woods by themselves (for the first time) for an extra hour or so after pitch dark. He is trying to kill a deer.
The sun went down and it got quiet, then faint rustlings began in the grass. Did her father make sure she had a flashlight? Hell No! It was dark, and the last of her vision picked up movement as an awful looking predatory saber-toothed armadillo moved into the field. A horrible looking creature! Surely a cannibalistic killer! Not a sound in the darkness as she prayed for her father to hurry. Another one of the ferocious beast eased out in front of her as the pale moon came out. Yikes, there might be hundreds of the things, it was time to get the hell out of Dodge! She scampered from the tree and took off through the darkness, praying her father would pick her up. Had he forgotten her? It was about a mile or so back to camp and she followed the old road as best she could while terrified and crying from every sound in the woods that were probably more fanged beasts. She did not stop for anything. She made it into camp alive and shell-shocked as we waited supper for them.
Hillary came in the door exhausted, crying and totally upset. After questions of what happened, you could see her Mothers’ eyes kind of squint and a red glow began to burn in them. Paul should of stayed in the woods that night cause all hell broke loose when he came in about 15 minutes later.
Needless to say, a man-eating armadillo is one thing, but a ferocious mama Wanda is a whole lot worse.