Hotel Christmas Place

I have been receiving emails from all of my friends.
They all seem to be having the same weird dream.

"Hotel Christmas Place"
On a dark delta highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of deer scent, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw shimmering light
My gun grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There Rex stood in the doorway;
As another giant buck fell
And I was thinking to myself,
'This could be Heaven or this could be Hell'
Then he lit up a candle and Rex showed me the way
There were deer voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the Hotel Christmas Place
Such a lovely place (Such an eerie place)
Such a hunting place
Plenty of deer at the Hotel Christmas Place
Any time of year (Any time of year)
You can find it here

Trents’ mind is Taffy-twisted, Burneys’ gun has the bends
Hershels’ got a lot of sweaty, sweaty slaves he calls friends
How they work in the food plots, sweet summer sweat.
Some work to remember, some work to forget

So I called up the Chieftain,
'Please bring me my wine'
He said, 'We drink Ezra Brooks here, since nineteen sixty nine”
And still those deer are grunting from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to the Hotel Christmas Place
Such a lovely place (Such a deerey place)
Such a hunting place
They’re deer hunting at the Hotel Christmas Place
What a nice surprise (massive antler size)
Bring your alibis

Deer horns on the ceiling,
Bunkroom cold as ice
And Rex said 'We are all just prisoners here, from lawyerly advice'
And in the buckmaster's chambers,
They gathered for the feast
They skin it with their steely knives,
That is one dead big-horned-beast

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find a stand to hunt
before Paul could get there and score.
'Relax,' said the Mailman,
'We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave!'