Deer Camp Blog

Deer Camp Blog- the outdoor column of The Bodock Times- (a satirical periodical) Humor and Hunting at the famous Christmas Place Plantation Hunting Club on the edge of the Mississippi Delta

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Wednesday, March 08, 2006

The Poisoned Blue Hole

Quackerville,MS> The backside of the lake at the
famous Christmas Place Hunting Club has a small
duck hole, known as the blue hole. (like all small duck holes)
Thus began one of the worst duck atrocities committed in recent
history as Paul (last Buffalo) Howell and Joe (not me) Savage
crept to the edge in the foggy darkness. Just as it was light
enough to see, the ducks started spiraling straight down at them
between the high ridges surrounding the hole. The shooting sounded like machine gun fire as volleys of red flame swept the bluffs. Duck feathers floated everywhere.
Investigators later observed that none escaped.
Everyone at camp got their limit! Even the people who slept in. Every stumphole between the Blue Hole and camp was stuffed with ducks! A year later no ducks have ever returned to this hole, and investigators from the MDWFP, EPA, Ducks Unlimited, SPCA, and PETA (Mississippi Loon Branch) were called in and reported that the blue hole was red and filled with duck feathers and carcasses of many unknown and unlucky creatures caught in the crossfire. Further investigation determined that a high lead content was present in the water and the nesting ground of the great blue heron had been destroyed (as they had had the hell shot out of them too). Paul and Joey have been undaunted by the affair and hope to pollute a major river or lake somewhere in the future.
They have their own recipe for ducks.
1. Shoot 1000 ducks
2. cut tongues out
3. throw carcass in clear stream
4. cooks tongues at 300 C in lemon sauce
5. eat with roast bald eagle (YUM, YUM)

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