Scorched Earth, MS >(2) Greenpeace marchers tied their members to trees on the bluff at the famous Christmas Place Excavation today protesting the actions of crazed Land Baron Hershel Howell“We’ll stop him, if he gets all of us! they cried as they went into a rendition of “Kumbaya”.
Mr. Howell had recently been seen bulldozing half of Holmes County. Riding astride the giant bulldozer he said “As long as I have money and diesel, I’m going to make this 2200 acres the flattest delta land in the country.”
Greenpeace was joined in the protest by The EPA, Sierra Club, Corp of Engineers, Ducks Unlimited and Farm Bureau. Representatives were there from the Mississippi Historical society, Daughters of the Confederacy and Bureau of Indian Affairs. “ The Indian Mounds must be saved! They contain the pots of our ancestors.!” the Indian official screamed.
An old purple haired woman in tennis shoes shook her fist and said “We know he sold an historic old cannon for scrap and now he is going to bulldoze the historic witchs’ house. Where will she haunt?” She sobbed as Mr. Howell made a sweep around the yard scattering protestors. He said “ Damn the torpedos! Full speed ahead!” (This is a famous quote from somewhere) Then yelled “Get the hell out of the way, you old Bat! (This is not a famous quote but can be quite hair raising when a giant bulldozer is barreling down at you.) Panicked members ran to defend their favorite deer spots but Mr. Howell was undaunted. Bobby Howell,National Guard representative threatened to call in an air strike on Hershel and the damn hippies loitering all over the place. Undaunted he zipped the bulldozer toward the lake that Burney had vowed to defend with his last cast. Last seen Mr. Howell was headed toward Eastgate singing “A plowing we will go, a plowing we will go!
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